Near Disaster
by tenspeed457
Summary: Matt, Mello, and Near are assigned a case in Russia. Things don't go as planned, and confessions are made... NearxGevanni, MelloxMatt. Yaoi, you know. In this, Kira has been caught before he can kill L.
1. Chapter 1

(I don't own Death Note)

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~Chapter One~

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Near knew they were watching him. He hated when they did it, but it wasn't really a big deal. Besides, in this place, there was always _someone_ watching. So, he said nothing. Lately, he'd been stacking deck upon deck upon deck of tarot cards, always in the same order. Mello had gotten into the habit of knocking them down, though. Near wasn't really sure how to handle that. He'd asked him many times to please, _please_ refrain from such things, but he had, so far, failed to comply. Near didn't understand this behavior. There was nothing to be gained from destroying the card towers, and it almost seemed as if Mello made more of an effort to destroy them than was necessary. Wasn't it just a waste of time and energy? Perhaps there was some reasoning behind it... Mello had insulted his habit of building the towers, saying that it was stupid and childish, but to Near, that made no sense at all. He didn't see how people could think clearly without doing something with their hands, and building was the best way to get his thoughts in order. If he could hold onto the cards or blocks, touch them and see them, turn them around and line them up in an order that made sense and allowed them to defy gravity, it was almost as if he could do the same thing with all the information in his brain. Same thing for those stupid... emotions. Such a waste of energy. They got in the way of _everything._ They were what was wrong with the world. By lining them and stacking them, arranging them into an order that made sense, he was able to store them away, where they couldn't get in the way and impede his judgement. When he had suggested to Mello that maybe, if he were to try a similar approach, he would be able to beat Near's test scores, he had received a bloody nose. That just sealed the deal on emotions, as far as he was concerned. They made no sense, and it didn't matter how hard he tried to understand them, he ended up making major social blunders. Not that he really cared, but it was just too much effort to try to understand what other people were feeling. It was so ambiguous...

"Yo." He didn't look up from his careful construction, but nodded his head in the direction of the one who had spoken. Matt sat at the table to his left, his PSP clutched in his hands. The two sat in peaceful silence for almost an hour, neither of them speaking. Near found that he almost enjoyed the other boy's company; he was much nicer than his blond best friend, and he seemed to understand Near's obsession with order. Near could even appreciate the games that Matt was constantly toting with him. They each had their own set of rules, and they each functioned in a certain way. Even those so-called "random encounters" with enemies, like in Pokemon where the adversary would appear at a seemingly random place and time, had a certain pattern to them. They functioned logically, and there was no room for variation based on the characters' emotions. They were predictable, so they were good.

"So," Matt finally spoke, not looking up from his game. "They finally caught that Light bastard."

"Good." Near nodded once. He didn't really care that much, although he was glad that L and the rest of the SPK would leave him alone. And maybe Mello would stop being so competitive... everyone had known that Light was Kira, but no one had been able to prove it. L had tried to get Mello to work with Near, but that hadn't gone too well. Near had said something that set Mello off, and Near had ended up on his back, Mello's hands wrapped around his windpipe. That had not gone well. Near strongly disapproved of Mello's quick temper; such levels of anger only left room for error, but he could see the merit of it in some situations. After all, he'd been successful in the mafia... that was quite the feat, and although he wouldn't ever be able to admit it to Mello (the older boy would only make fun of him), he was rather impressed by his success.

"He wants you to work with us on the next case." Near paused. He knew who Matt had meant by "he" and "us;" L, and Mello and Matt, respectively. "They wanted me to tell you." That made sense; Matt would talk to Near on occasion anyway, and if they had sent Mello to tell him, bad things would have probably happened, to one or both of them.

"What is the case?" He wanted to ask why they were expected to work together, but he knew that Matt wouldn't know any more than he did on that subject. Matt shrugged.

"They didn't tell me much. We'll be transferring to Russia for this one, though. Must be pretty big, to move the three of us out there." Russia? They already had a branch in Russia. Near actually looked at Matt this time.

"Why Russia? Aren't there already agents located there?" Matt shrugged again, flipping his hair out of the way of his goggles.

"Dunno. They're gonna formally brief us later in the week."

"Has Mello been informed?" Matt shook his head, sighing heavily.

"Nope. Not yet. I'm off to tell him next. Wish me luck, though." Near kept his mouth shut, resisting the urge to explain how there was no such thing as luck, just the probability of outcomes.

Matt sat there for a while longer, before regretfully turning off his game and shuffling out of the room, dragging his feet as he went. Near knew that he had broken the news to Mello, when, almost an hour later, he heard an angry shout from the other room.

"What the fuck? Why do we have to be stuck with that little freak?!" Near scowled. He wasn't that much more of a freak than the rest of the Wammy's kids; at least he hadn't lost his mind, like some of them. "No. No! Shut up, Matt." The other boy's voice could barely be heard, as he spoke in more reasonable tones as he tried to calm his more explosive friend. Near turned away as the door banged open, closing his eyes in anger as his card tower fluttered to the ground. "What the fuck did you tell them?" Mello demanded, his voice full of rage.

"Why would you think that I have anything to do with these arrangements?" He flinched as Mello grabbed the front of his white pajama shirt.

"Don't fuck with me! You say 'jump,' they say 'how high?' What are you playing at?" Near was feeling extremely uncomfortable in this situation.

"Please stop touching me," he mumbled, not looking at the other boy's face.

"Damn you!" Mello complied, shoving him roughly to the floor.

"Mello, man, calm down. He didn't even know about it 'till, like, an hour ago..." Mello spun to glare at Matt as Near began methodically picking up the scattered cards. Now he would have to reorder them and everything...

"Shut up, Matt. Stop being stupid. Of course he knew. Nothing happens around this fucking place without him knowing." Matt ran a gloved hand through his hair, sighing in defeat.

"Whatever, Mello. Just keep telling yourself that everything's Near's fault." Even Near knew that Matt had made a mistake as Mello lapsed into silence. When he finally risked glancing at him, Mello's hands were balled into fists, and he was trembling with anger.

"So now you're on his side?!" He finally hissed. Matt tried to defend himself.

"Mel, I'm not on anyone's 'side.' There aren't really 'sides' in here, so just chill. We're not out to get you, man." Mello shoved Near in the ribs with his foot, and Near glared at his back as he shoved Matt into the wall.

"What the fuck, Matt. If that's how you're gonna be, than just get the fuck away from me!" He stormed out, leaving Matt shaking his head sadly and rubbing his shoulder where he'd hit the wall.

"You shouldn't have said that," Near reprimanded softly. Matt made a disgusted noise.

"Why, so he could just be a total dick to you again?"

"It isn't that big of a deal." Near didn't like to see Matt and Mello fighting. They were friends; they weren't supposed to fight, and it totally threw everything off when they did. He wished that things would just stay the way they were supposed to be.

"Well, he needs to learn to deal with life." Matt stormed out of the room, leaving Near to pick up his cards in silence. He was almost done putting them back in order (all fourteen decks of tarot cards) when the Matt walked in the door again, this time sporting a slightly swollen black eye behind his orange goggles.

"They want to see us in the meeting room." Near sighed in defeat. He would never finish with his cards... Matt watched as he carefully made a pile of the deck he was currently working on. "You want help with that?" Near was surprised, and rather pleased, but politely declined the offer.

"Thank you for your offer, but I would prefer to do it myself." Not that he didn't trust Matt, but he knew how ADHD Matt could get, and he knew that after a few minutes of organizing them, he would lose interest, putting them in the box out of order. Matt shrugged.

"Whatever. Let's get going." They arrived in the small room shortly before Mello, and when he walked in the room, he headed directly to the opposite corner from them, glaring daggers at the small, white-haired boy, as if Near were responsible for all of the worlds problems. L was already there, sitting in the comfy chair at the front of the room, his knees pulled up to his chest as he lovingly devoured a piece of cheesecake. Watari stood to the side impatiently as he waited for L to finish. Rushing him with food, especially any kind sweet and cheesecake the most was totally pointless; he'd finish when he was damn good and ready. Finally, he set the fork and now empty plate on the table, swiveling the chair to face the his successors.

"Hello. I've already told Matt a little of what will be happening, and I see that he's passed that news on to you..." Mello glared back at his slightly accusing gaze, as if daring him to bring up his violent reaction. "What you have not been told, however, is the nature of the case." He broke eye contact with Mello, swiveling the chair back so that he was facing the computer. "Yes. As you've already been told, you will be transferred to Russia, as our Russian... 'comrades,' if you will, are unable to work on the case openly." he opened up a file on the computer, projecting it on the large screen at the front of the room. On it was a compilation of case files, all involving the brutal rapes and murders of children. Near studied the descriptions silently for a moment. "So what can you three tell me?" L asked after a moment. Matt shrugged apathetically, while Mello just looked furious. Near sighed, reciting his conclusions as if reading them aloud.

"The murderer targets only women and children, victims unable to defend themselves. Most likely, he is sexually excited by the violence or the actual act of killing the victim, possibly by the sight of blood. He started with only one or two murders, progressively becoming more and more bold as time went on, the concentration of murders reaching a peak during the last month." He lapsed into silence as he played with his model jet. He hoped they were almost done; he was bored. He didn't know what else they wanted, but Mello's scathing glares were making him uneasy. L nodded.

"Thank you, Near." Mello rolled his eyes.

"Why do you even have us here? Why not just put him on a leash and take him with you?" L stared at Mello, blinking slowly.

"Because I'm not going to Russia. We need the three of you to cooperate, which does not entail killing each other. The Russian branch had been under close scrutiny lately. They have been working on this case for the last year and a half, and due to the secretive and restricting nature of the Russian government, have been unable to make any progress."

"Well, why do you think we can do any better than they've done?" Matt asked politely.

"Because so far, none of you three have let rules and regulations hamper your work."

"So basically, you want us because we don't follow laws?" Mello looked slightly happier at the prospect of illegal activity. L smiled ruefully.

"That sounds accurate."

"Well. That changes things." The smile on Mello's face was enough to give someone nightmares for a week. "We just have to catch this guy?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. We need hard evidence that he's the one responsible for the murders, and a confession. There have already been numerous confessions due to the... violent nature of the interrogation style." Again, Mello smiled like a man possessed.

"I can get a confession." None of them doubted that he could.

"The thing is, it cannot be a false confession. If the murders continue after we've caught the supposed perpetrator, we risk all friendly relations we've built over the years with Russia."

"How can we be sure there are no copycat murders?" Near spoke again.

"That shouldn't be a problem; the Russian government has forbidden that any news of this be released. Apparently, a serial killer/rapist is a product of a corrupt society. Since only Western society is corrupt, serial killers are primarily a western problem. That is the reasoning, at any rate." Near frowned at the hubris of those in power; here was another reason that emotions were more trouble than they were worth. "I will give you three access to the case database; you will depart tomorrow. Until then, I suggest you familiarize yourselves with the details of the case." One thing was still unclear.

"Why all three of us?" Matt voiced Near's question.

"You all possess essential qualities that, by themselves, are almost useless in this case. The three of you together could form a far superior team, if you're able to work together without killing each other." Near got the idea that L was being humorous. He didn't personally see the humor, however; the threat of Mello killing him was very real, as he'd found out.

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A/N: So I wrote this pretty much because Krista hates Near, but she it totally wrong. Because he's adorable. Don't get me wrong, he can be a total ass, but he's still adorable. So tell me what you think, and I will love you forever!

The serial killer in this story is based heavily upon Andrei Chikatilo, a serial killer in Russia who killed 52 women and children between 1978 and 1990. Very interesting fellow; you should look him up if you're bored and this kind of thing interests you.

Nothing actually starts between Near and Gevanni for a while. I decided to do this pairing because I don't really like Near with anyone else, and since Gevanni works so closely with Near for so long, I thought it kind of made sense.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223. even if she doesn't like Near...*

~alex~


	2. Chapter 2

(I don't own Death Note)

A/N: Some things are different from the manga. just bear with me. Also, italics are flashbacks. I include quite a few references (although I change some things) to the movie L: Change the WorLd, so it might be confusing if you haven't seen that, but I explain at the end.

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~Chapter Two~

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They left early the next morning. Mello could be heard all the way down the hallway, yelling at Matt to get out of bed.

"Get your lazy ass up! Right now! No, not just ten more minutes, now!" Although he sounded genuinely angry, Near could tell that he was merely frustrated. He was usually like that with Matt, which sort of irritated Near. Not that he hated either of them. Matt was probably the closest thing to a friend he'd ever had, and Mello... well, he actually didn't mind Mello either. Mello just hated him so much that they had never really had a very civil conversation. He couldn't understand what Mello was always so angry about. There wasn't really anything to be angry about, as far as Near could tell. He could understand being irritated; stupid people were constantly getting on his own nerves, but he didn't actually hate them- just held them in very high contempt. He almost found himself wishing that Mello would just relax for once, and not be so hostile towards him. No, he didn't care that much...

"You ready, Near?" He hadn't even heard his assistant, Gevanni, walking up behind him. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"Yes." He nodded once, and the older man assisted him with his luggage. He didn't really have much to bring with him; he had twenty or so decks of tarot cards, ten sets of dominoes, a set of wooden blocks, quite a few dice, and three or four unassembled airplane model kits. Oh, and clothes. Yeah, he had those too. Four identical pairs of white pajamas, and, upon Gevanni's insistence, a formal suit, "just in case." Near didn't foresee any situation where he would be required to wear the atrocity, but complied to pacify the man. He felt a little better, now that he knew that Gevanni would be accompanying them. As one of his personal assistants, Gevanni knew him better than anyone, and could usually tell what he wanted without him needing to say anything. He was much better at dealing with others than Near was, and he could usually prevent Mello from blowing up on Near. When he was around, that is. Gevanni himself was a very busy individual. Although he worked primarily for Near, he was often involved in investigating other cases; his intelligence as well as many talents made him a very valuable asset to any investigation. As they approached the private jet, Near unconsciously moved so that he was slightly behind Gevanni, keeping him between Mello and himself. Gevanni noticed this subtle act, more than happy to accommodate Near. Although the boy seemed so much younger than the two, he was the same age as his other two companions, and (although he couldn't ever act on his feelings) Gevanni was rather taken with him. It was totally inappropriate, though, and completely unprofessional. Besides, Near had never shown even the slightest interest in either gender. Gevanni understood this, and although he wanted more, he was content to keep the relationship platonic, pleased to just be near him. As they passed Mello, who was running a hand through his blond hair impatiently, the boy stuck his foot in Near's path, hooking his foot around Near's ankle. Near, not expecting this, pitched forward. Gevanni kept him from hitting the ground at the last moment, barely able to catch the boy's petite arm. Near's eyes widened in surprise and alarm at the sudden contact. He didn't like to be touched! He had to force himself to not rip his arm out of the man's grip; he'd only been trying to help, after all. Noticing Near's discomfort, he Gevanni released him as soon as he'd caught his balance. Matt was glaring disapprovingly at Mello, who was feigning innocence.

"Mello, it's not even five in the morning," Gevanni reprimanded him. Mello shrugged.

"Tell me about it. I had to get this lazy fuck outta bed."

"Hey!" Matt shoved Mello, probably a little harder than was strictly necessary.

"Mello..." Gevanni shook his head in exasperation. That boy would never change. "Alright, it's time to board the plane." They followed him onto the private Wammy's jet, Mello stretching himself out comfortably across two seats and pulling Matt roughly onto his lap. Matt struggled half-heartedly, muttering under his breath. "Mello... no," Gevanni warned. Mello raised his eyebrow at him, smirking. Everyone remembered the last time Matt and Mello had been allowed on the jet... the cleaning crew had been less than pleased.

"Hey!" Matt protested as Mello slid a hand up his shirt, but finally stopped struggling, allowing Mello to wrap his arms around his waist.

"See? It's so much better for everyone when you don't struggle... I'd have thought you'd have learned that by now..." Mello whispered loudly so that everyone could hear him. Near was staring intently out the window, as if the dark sky were the most fascinating thing in the world. Gevanni was just shaking his head, and Matt, now red-faced, had crossed his arms in front of his chest, pouting and trying to ignore all of Mello's less-than-subtle sexual innuendos. Basically, things were progressing as usual. Near wished they would shut up. This conversation was making him very self-conscious, and he had no desire whatsoever to be thinking about Matt and Mello's sex life.

"Are you alright?" He glanced at Gevanni in surprise as the man sat beside him, fastening his seatbelt while the flight attendant fought with Mello, trying to get him to do the same. Near nodded once, turning his attention back to the window. He wasn't too fond of flying, although he was aware that it was reasonably safe. Heights made him feel slightly nauseas, which was just one more thing for Mello to tease him mercilessly about. Of course, Near knew about Mello's only phobia, his fear of deep water, but he never mentioned it, out of fear for his life. He started slightly as the propeller outside the window came to life, the engines roaring loudly. He clutched the armrest tightly as the plane began to taxi down the runway, his knuckles losing color as it slowed at the end, in that final stretch before it really picked up speed. That was almost the worst part- the anticipation, where you knew what was coming, that any second, the plane would go barreling down the runway and into the air. Those few moments of just... waiting, before anything actually happened- those few seconds of helplessness. He stiffened even more as Gevanni offered his hand. What? "You don't like flying, right? You can hold onto me if you want. I won't touch you, so don't worry." He stared at the man for a moment, considering his offer, accepting a few seconds later as the plane lurched violently. Gevanni smiled discreetly even as Near's fingers dug painfully into his arm. He glanced at the boy, whose eyes were now clenched shut. He wanted to take him in his arms, comfort him and hold him, but he knew that Near would only be even more uncomfortable if he were to do something like that. So, he settled for allowing Near to clutch his arm. He had packed the boy's teddy bear in the carry-on, but had neglected to mention it. After the plane had stabilized in the air, Near released his death grip on Gevanni's arm, opening his eyes warily.

"Thank you," He muttered as he checked to make sure Mello wasn't trying to sneak up on him to scare him. "Ugh." He wished he hadn't looked; he didn't enjoy seeing Matt and Mello making out as if the world were about to end. Gevanni chuckled as he saw what had disgusted Near.

"Don't worry about Mello. I'll keep an eye out for him. Although I don't think he'll be bothering you, at least until we get there," the man promised. Near nodded once. Suddenly, the plane began shaking. Near's eyes widened, to at least twice their normal size as he instinctively clutched at Gevanni's shirt. He was sitting with his legs pulled up, although they were a little more to the side than normal; there wasn't quite enough room on theses seats for him to sit the way he preferred. This was another reason he hated flying; everything about it made him uneasy. Hesitantly, Gevanni put one hand on the boy's trembling back, rubbing it softly. Near was so focused on breathing that didn't even react to Gevanni's touch until they hit a particularly violent pocket of turbulence. At this, he buried his face in the man's chest. He didn't even think about the fact that he was touching another human being; the only thing on his mind right now was that one fateful day when he'd lost everything: and gained everything.

_Up until that point, his life had been uneventful in the small, Thai village. Then, everyone started dying off. He didn't understand why he couldn't go out anymore. He didn't understand why his parents, his friends, and everyone else was dying... He was hiding in a nearby temple, where he felt safe, and was writing numbers on the wall- something that always helped to calm him and restore order- when a voice yelled to him._

"_Boy!" He had looked at the man, and even at his young age, he had seen the fear and desperation in the man's face. He yelled at him to get out of the village- and then they saw the American bomber. It was leaving his village, and a few second later, the earth had shook. The man swore as he grabbed Near, taking him to his nearby truck. Near had seen his village- everything was in flames. He began crying, and the man had given him a necklace. "Don't cry, boy," He'd said kindly, "But this is what you have to do..." He'd then given him instructions: Find a phone, call a number, and say the codeword. He'd dropped Near off, telling him that he'd be okay. Near had watched as the man drove away, the helicopters in pursuit. He watched until they were out of sight, but he didn't miss the explosion. He knew the man was dead. That was when he'd decided that he would never feel anything for anyone ever again. He'd known the man for an hour, and he was mourning his loss... so he obeyed the directions, and had wound up with L. L had given him a shot of some sort of medicine- at the time, he hadn't liked the needle- and his toy robot when they got to Wammy's house. He'd watched the black-haired man, returning his intense stare as he gave him his name- "Near." _

"_Near."_

"Near."

"**Near!**" He opened his eyes, confused and disoriented. He was still in the plane, clinging to Gevanni. Gevanni was looking at him intently, his eyes full of concern. He sat up quickly, taking in his surroundings and trying to regain his bearings. Matt and Mello had hardly moved since the last time he'd seen him, although Matt was no longer wearing his vest, and Mello's jacket was nowhere to be seen. "Near, what's wrong?" Gevanni whispered, the other two unable to hear him over the sound of the turbulence. The white-haired boy raised a hand to the blue-chip necklace that he still wore, then turned back to Gevanni, cowering against his chest without speaking. Gevanni was startled, but asked no more questions. Clearly, Near was very upset about something, and although he desperately wanted to know what was bothering him, he knew that inquiring would get him nowhere. He put his arm around the boy's frail shoulders, allowing him to crawl into his lap. He rested his chin on the top of Near's head, and within the next five minutes, Near's tense body relaxed as he fell into a peaceful sleep. Gevanni glared at the flight attendant as she walked towards them, her intent clear on her face, warning her not to disturb them. So they weren't buckled; neither were Mello and Matt, judging by the sounds issuing from their part of the plane. She rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in exasperation as she turned back the way she had come. The poor girl obviously hadn't known what she was getting herself into when she signed up for the job.

* * *

A/N: Okay, thank you for reading, and I hope you liked it. sorry if it was confusing, but here, I'll explain.

**SPOILER ALERT **~**Explanation:** the part about Near's origins comes from the film L: Change the WorLd. He's the only survivor of a Thai village that has been the target of a bio-terrorist attack. the people are infected with a deadly disease, ten times more infectious and deadly than Ebola. The man who finds him and gets him out of the village is named F, and he gives Near a necklace. The American bomber blows up the village and the helicopter pilot is ordered to destroy the truck that they're in so that there will be no witnesses. The number that F gives Near is L's number, and to make a long story short, F and the truck get blown up after he drops Near off (he stops the truck and surrenders as soon as Near is safe), L comes and intercepts a plane with one of the terrorists on it, gives them all the antidote to the disease, takes Near with him, Gives him a robot and a name. that's why Near always has his robot; it's the one that L gave him.

Sorry about that excessively long explanation... Hopefully, it makes sense. Gevanni isn't in the series very much at all, but he's constantly with Near, and he does play a pretty big role in catching that bastard Light (not that I'm bitter). I know I totally changed the whole ending of the Kira case, but for this fanfic, let's just pretend that they caught Light **before** all the good characters died. :P

Tell me what you think!

~alex~


	3. Chapter 3

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Three~

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"Mello!" Gevanni scolded the boy as he shoved Near back into one of the jet seats. They had just landed, and were getting off the plane- or trying to, in Near's case. Mello ignored Gevanni's reproachful tone, hooking his arm possessively around Matt's waist as Matt shot Near a sympathetic look. "Are you alright?" The boy nodded silently as Gevanni helped him to his feet. He quickly released Near's hand, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but Near didn't appear to be annoyed at all by the contact, which Gevanni found odd. He'd been acting strangely the entire way there, although that was to be expected, considering his dislike of flying and high places in general. Mello was acting even more obnoxious than usual, although everyone knew that it was because he was at least a little nervous about the case. Well, not nervous, so much as apprehensive. Because hell, he didn't _get_ nervous. Matt was mildly interested in what the case may have to offer, but for the most point, he was just there because Mello was; he didn't actually care that much about the case one way or another. Near... Near didn't have any opinions on the case. He viewed it as a puzzle to be solved, a model to be put together. He'd been told to finish the puzzle, so that's what he was going to do. Then they would leave him alone again, hopefully.

"Soooo when are we actually going to _do_ anything?" they'd just been briefed on the details of the case, and Mello was getting impatient. Near disapproved of Mello's love for violence and action. After all, it was detrimental to the case to try and rush things. Roger, who had arrived a few days prior to their arrival, shook his head.

"Dammit, Mello, didn't you listen to a word I just said? Never mind. Don't answer that." He ran a hand through his thinning hair. "We have to wait it out. You know this guy is smart. He's expecting us to try something forward, just like the other division tried. Well, obviously that didn't work, so we have to try to outsmart this guy." Mello rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Near said nothing, still playing with a set of dice. "So we're just going to wait for this bastard to kill again? That sounds like another bullshit excuse, if you ask me."

"Well, that's why I haven't asked you yet. When I want your input, believe me, I will ask for it." Roger was sounding rather put-out, so Matt placed a hand on Mello's arm.

"Hey, just chill," He muttered to him. Mello looked angry for a moment, but his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Yeah, yeah. I still think it's fucking lame..."

"Well, what you can do is make sure you know all known details of this case inside and out," Roger suggested.

"Yeah? What do you think I was doing before I got here, huh?" Roger grinned bitterly.

"Well, I heard about the plane..."

"Hey! Nothing happened, you fucking pervs! Nothing!" He stormed out of the room, Matt following close behind him, trying to calm his explosive boyfriend. Roger turned to Near.

"Well. That was... unnecessary. What do you think?"

"About this case?" Roger nodded. "I feel that the killer will act again soon. He doesn't leave too much time in between victims, and it has been nearly a week since the last body was discovered. I believe that we will be receiving a call within the next day." Roger nodded, his expression grim.

"Yes, that is the conclusion that we had reached as well." Near raised his gaze to stare intently at the man.

"Is the killer working alone, or does he have possible accomplices?"

"That is currently what we are investigating. Some of the evidence leads to there being multiple criminals, such as the slightly different modus operandi. Also, since we have received no leads whatsoever except for one anonymous call, we have reason to believe that someone has been threatening any potential victims. Our caller seemed to be afraid of revealing her name because 'they would get her too.'" Near said nothing, and Roger was about to inquire whether he had been listening or not, when Gevanni held up a hand, silencing the man. He knew that Near needed a few moments to consider the information he'd been given. To anyone else, it would look like he were merely playing as he put together a model airplane with painstaking precision, but Gevanni knew that without something to occupy his hands, Near would get nervous and irritable, and would be unable to focus on anything long enough to reach a conclusion. After a few more minutes of silence, the two older men watching his put together the miniscule pieces, Near spoke.

"There are definitely at least two people behind the murders," He began slowly, his voice cold and mechanical. "They work as a team, both of them participating in the rape and murder of their victims. One of them is more dominant than the other, though, and therefore, he either kills the majority of the victims or orders the other to do so. As you can see, most of the victims are killed by stabbing, with their bodies being stabbed repeatedly even after their deaths. A few of the victims, though, have had their throats slit, their bodies then stabbed once they died in order to imitate the style of the other murderer. My guess is that on occasion, one of the murderers acts alone, so there is a different style of murder." Roger sat in his chair as he processed Near's conclusions. They all made quite a bit of sense, given the evidence they had found thus far.

"Who is allowed access to the evidence?" Near wanted to make sure that they didn't miss anything.

"Everyone who is on the case." Near frowned. That was nearly thirty people...

"Run background checks on everyone on the case. If you find anything at all questionable, please inform me immediately." Roger nodded, feeling a bit irked. The boy's brusque tone and his habit of ordering people around really got on his nerves, but he had to admit that Near knew what he was doing. His grimace did not go unnoticed by either Gevanni or Near, who pulled his legs tighter against his body. Gevanni noticed the boy's sign of distress, but was unsure of what to say. If he asked what was wrong, he would either be told that nothing was wrong, or just be ignored all together. Something had been bothering Near lately, and Gevanni was determined to find out what.

* * *

It had been nearly six hours since they had arrived in St. Petersburg, and Matt had had enough. He had spent a good part of the afternoon taking the brunt of Mello's frustrations, and he was feeling slightly on-edge about it. He really didn't mean to snap at Near when the boy called his name...

"What, Near?" The white-haired detective flinched, almost imperceptibly, and Matt felt slightly guilty.

"Er, Roger wants to see you and Mello," He told Matt. "There's been a body found..."

Near wasn't sure what Mello was so cheerful about, nor what Matt was so upset about.

"Does this mean we actually get to do something?" Mello asked, sounding pleased.

"Mel! Stop being such an asshole!" Matt hisses, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"What's your problem?"

"My problem is that girl's like, seven. And you're being a total ass." Mello glared.

"Who's being a total ass right now, huh? Now we can actually try to do something, as opposed to just sitting around on our asses waiting for the murderer to drop into our lap!" Matt turned his back on Mello, resisting the urge to punch him in the face. It would just end with Matt getting hurt.

"Alright, Roger. Let's get this over with," he snapped. Gevanni stood protectively at Near's side. When Mello and Matt fought, Near usually suffered... "Victim's stats."

"Female, name: Anei Sveta. Age: seven years old. Cause of death: blood loss due to multiple stab wounds. She was found by the docks by her house, which is the same general area as the rest of his victims; she and her mother live right on the bay. She was sexually assaulted prior to her death, as with the rest of the victims. We have reason to believe she knew the attacker, as there are very few defensive wounds; therefore, she was not expecting an attack. For this reason, we need one of you to go and defend the girl's mother, to make sure that she is safe. Matt?" Matt glared.

"No," he stated simply. Roger sighed.

"Alright then, Mello, will you go? Please?" Mello looked about to protest. "It is very likely that he will attempt to take her life as well, so it's not like you won't be doing anything..." all traces of Mello's reservation vanished.

"Fine. I'll do it. But I'm telling you, if he tries anything funny, I'm shooting him." Matt rolled his eyes. Mello just wanted an excuse to kill someone...

* * *

"Goddammit, he can be so stupid," Mello muttered as he climbed into the car with Roger.

"Who, Matt?"

"Who else?" He snapped.

"Well, usually you're insulting Near." Mello scoffed.

"That bastard isn't stupid, he's just a piece of shit." Roger shot him a disapproving look.

"You know, you should really lighten up on him a little..." He fell silent at Mello's expression.

"So what exactly do I have to do?" Roger sighed.

"Okay, things are going to be a little strange for a while here. There have been unforeseen events, so this is how it's gonna work..."

* * *

Gevanni watched as his charge sat at the table, stacking the same set of dice over and over and over again. While the (more than a little) autistic boy liked repetition, this was different than usual.

"Near, what's the matter?" He finally asked. Near froze.

"What do you mean? Nothing is the matter," He answered, his voice devoid of any emotion.

"Near, you're acting... odd. You keep stacking those dice, more than usual, and you've just kind of been acting jumpy. This isn't normal. You can tell me if anything is bothering you, you know..." Near couldn't look at the man. He was confused; he hadn't thought he was acting any more strangely than usual, and he couldn't figure out why Gevanni would have noticed (or cared) even if he were. It made him nervous. People never just want to help you, or to make you feel better. Never. There's always something else that they're not telling you, that they may be able to gain from helping you. That had been his general experience with humans, and he saw no reason that this man should be any different from the rest of them. Sure, he found Gevanni's presence... pleasant. Soothing, even, although that, he assumed, was merely because Gevanni was employed to protect him. "Near?" Gevanni tried to get the boy to meet his eyes, but failed, and didn't press the matter further. He sighed heavily. "Whatever it is, Near... If you want to talk to me, please feel free." He left the boy sitting in the small suite, his dice abandoned as he stared at his hands. They were shaking, but why? He almost wanted to tell Gevanni to stay, but what would that accomplish? Their time was valuable; they could make much more of it if they were working on different things separately, not holed up in their room not talking to each other. He twirled a strand of his bangs, an anxious feeling rising into his stomach. What was going on with him? He was almost... what? Upset, perhaps? That Gevanni had left, and that he had sounded so disappointed with him... No. He was not a disappointment to Gevanni. And even if he was, why should it matter to him?

* * *

The next morning, Matt lay on the bed, mulling over the previous day's events. Mello could be such an ass sometimes... but he felt that he was partially to blame this time, as well. They were both so uptight lately, and they'd been fighting more than normal.

"Ahh, I hate this," He moaned darkly in the silence of the room. Fighting with Mello always depressed him. He decided to apologize to the blond the next time he saw him; he knew that Mello was too proud to apologize first, and he really didn't want to fight any more. He heard footsteps in the hallway, and then a knock on the door. _That was fast..._ Mello had been expected to stay with the woman for a day or two at least. He rolled over and pretended to sleep, not yet ready to face Mello.

"Matt? Matt, please open the door. We need to talk..." He sat up, his heart racing in fear as he opened the door for Roger. Roger wouldn't have personally come to Matt's room to talk to him if it wasn't something hugely important... and judging by his expression, it wasn't something good.

"Roger? Roger, what's going on? Why are you here?" Roger closed his eyes in defeat.

"Matt, why don't you sit down, okay?" Matt could feel himself start to panic.

"Shit, Roger. What happened. What happened?!" He yelled. "M-Mello? What happened to him, is he okay?" Roger closed his eyes and shook his head. Oh, god. Mello was injured? What-what- "Roger, I don't understand," He said, not even caring that his voice was shaking.

"Matt... Mello is... well," _no, no, no,_ Matt pleaded silently, willing Roger not to say what he knew was coming. "The murderer caught him off guard." Oh god, here it came... "We found him in the river this morning, Matt, with weights tied to his ankles. He was knocked unconscious before he was thrown in... I'm so sorry..." Matt felt the entire world coming to an end as he sank down to sit on the bed. Well, his world, at any rate. He curled up on his side, his knees up near his chest in an imitation of the fetal position. He couldn't live without Mello. Couldn't. Not wouldn't, couldn't. Mello was everything to him. Sure, he was annoying, but he... he'd always taken care of Matt when Matt was unable to do so himself. And now he was dead? This was _not_ possible. "Matt?" Roger was watching Matt, a sickeningly concerned look on his face. Matt couldn't breathe, and his head was spinning. He choked on his next breath, feeling as if someone were tearing his chest apart.

"N-No! _**NO!**_" He sobbed, his voice rising to a shriek. His own reaction almost frightened him; he hadn't thought that anything could affect him this deeply. "No, Mello, no, please..." He was babbling incoherently, the tears falling from his eyes at an alarming rate. Roger was taken aback. He'd never seen Matt react strongly to anything. He was shaking as he sobbed violently, sounds that he had never thought he could make escaping his mouth.

"Matt, please. Matt, it'll be okay," Roger tried comforting him.

"No, it fucking _**won't be okay!**_" Matt yelled back. "You know why? Because he's fucking_** dead!**_" He hugged himself as tightly as he could, wishing with all his might that he could just disappear, that he could just curl up and die. He already felt like his chest was collapsing, and he wished that were the case. He tried desperately to catch his breath, but he was gasping faster and faster as his vision swum before his tear-soaked eyes. He clutched at his hair with his hands, shaking his head. "No, no no no no... no, no no..." He moaned over and over again, as if refusing to believe it would make it not true.

"Matt, listen. I'm quite sorry for your loss, but really, we must focus on the matters at hand-"

"Shut _**up**_!" the boy screamed, lashing out and punching the man square in the face before curling up back into his ball. "Just leave me the fuck alone," he whispered miserably. Roger got to his feet, wincing as he felt the rising lump on his jaw. _Well,_ he thought, _that was karma. I did deserve that..._

Matt stayed that way for most of the day. He hadn't thought any human being would be capable of crying so much at one time, of feeling such intense agony; he was sobbing painfully for almost four hours. Every now and then, his sobs would subside to quiet, hiccuping whimpers, but then a thought would surface unbidden and remind him of the horrible reality: Mello was dead. Mello was _never_ coming back.

* * *

A/N: Don't hate me!!! Things turn out okay, I promise!!!! Believe me, Krista would kill me if it didn't end well.

I know Matt is kind of OOC in this, but keep in mind how close his relationship with Mello is in this story.

Tell me what you think! Thanks

~alex~


	4. Chapter 4

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Four~

* * *

He knew that something was wrong when he returned to the headquarters that night. It was almost totally deserted, and the rows of computer screens, although on, were blank. Matt sat in a chair towards the corner of the room, totally immobile. That in itself wasn't significant, but even his hands were still, his game systems nowhere in sight. Something was clearly very amiss.

"Hello," he called, slightly tentatively. Matt didn't even move. He approached the still figure, and when he was only a few steps away, Matt turned to face him. Near was shocked to see that there were tears covering his cheeks. "Matt? What's the problem?"

"He's dead, Near." What was he talking about? "Mello. He's dead." No. Mello couldn't be dead. Mello couldn't be killed; of that he was fairly convinced. He stared at his bare feet, his too-long pajama pants billowing around them.

"You must be mistaken..." Matt slammed his hand on the table.

"No, I'm fucking not. Roger contacted me earlier. He said that he'd already identified the body. They won't let me see him, Near." Near could feel his hands shaking, but he refused to allow his emotions to get the better of him. He was in control of them, not the other way around. He sank to the floor in front of the largest screen, where he'd left his box of dice. He began stacking them, carefully and slowly. His hands were making it difficult to place them; he had to use even more precision than usual in stacking them. "Did you even hear what I said? I- he- he died. For this fucking investigation, and we're getting nowhere! And what are you doing? Playing with your fucking dice! Just like always!" Matt was working himself up more and more.

"Getting upset will help nothing. Allowing his death to cloud our judgement will only hinder the investigation..." He was speaking even more technically than usual. Block out Matt's angry voice. Block out the fact that Mello was dead. Block out the fact that one of the only other people he actually cared about was now livid. Stack the dice higher, get farther away from the situation. Stack them neatly, organize them, put the feelings in their places; build a wall of dice, stay separated from the pain... wipe away the tears. Wait, what tears? Why was he crying? Matt had stopped yelling at him, at least... and why was his chest hurting so badly? This was highly unusual.

"What- what is going on?" he stuttered, his temper flaring at the way it hurt to talk. If this was what emotions did for you, then he was glad he'd been able to block them out before.

"Near?" Matt sounded surprised at Near's involuntary display of emotion, and he moved to put his arm around the smaller boy. Near flinched at the contact, but allowed Matt to hold him close, telling himself that he didn't need the comfort, that he was merely trying to make Matt feel better. As the tears came more and more freely, though, he was forced to admit to himself that he needed the comfort just as much as Matt did.

"Why did he hate me so much?" he whispered, not actually intending to say the words aloud.

"Because you beat him at everything! You knew he wanted to be number one."

"I did offer to let him beat me. I didn't really want it. Everyone told me what to do, so I did it. I told him he could win if he wanted to." He cringed at the memory. That had not ended well. Matt buried his face in the boy's snowy hair, laughing through his tears.

"Near, you idiot. Of course that would piss him off! Can't you see how condescending you sounded?" Near really didn't, even now. He had been genuine in his offer; if Mello had wanted to beat him, he should have taken him up on the offer. It wasn't his fault that Mello had been too proud to accept that... He shook his head, trying to will away the sobs that were rising in his chest. Why was he fucking crying?! Mello had never been anything but horrible to him. He had never showed Near any kindness, not once. Even when Near had tried to mind his own business, he had still been forced to endure Mello's abuse. The reason he was crying, though, was the reason he _had_ endured it for all those years. Deep down, he'd always admired Mello. Sure, he was a cruel, arrogant fool at times, but he was also passionate, brave, and loyal. He knew what made people tick, and he knew how to manipulate them. Near was never good at any of these things, and he suspected he never would be. He just didn't _get_ other people like Mello did. Finally, a quiet sob broke free, and that only deepened Matt's grief. Near, of all people, was crying for Mello's death. Near, who was seemingly as emotionless as a blank wall, was crying. This kind of thing just didn't happen, and it served to drive home the fact even more: Mello was _never_ coming back. He tried to be strong for the young recluse; he really did, but he couldn't maintain his composure. His body was wracked with sobs as he went over in his mind, over and over, the last few weeks. He had been so... carefree. He hadn't paid enough attention to Mello, and now he was paying for it. It could have been him who went out that day, should have been him! Roger had wanted him to go, but he had to be a little bitch, and make Mello go. And they had fought! They had fought that day, and he hadn't apologized... God, he wished he'd apologized. It should have been him! Mello had never liked the water. Matt _knew_ that. He knew that drowning was the one way that Mello didn't want to go. So, of course it would just _have_ to be the way he would die... Matt should have been the one with the weights tied to this feet. Should have been the one knocked unconscious and thrown into the frigid bay. He should have been the body to wash up the next day, should have been the one the fish were nibbling on. He should have died instead of Mello. But no. Mello was dead, and it might as well have been his fault. _Well, Mello_, he thought. _I failed. Of course, you know that, don't you? Yeah, you know that all too well. I fucked up. But I'll get him. I swear, I'll get him. And when I find him, I'll have him screaming for mercy. The bastard will regret the day he was ever born. I'm so sorry, Mello._ His body was being shaken by uncontrollable sobs.

"God, Mello... I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I'm so sorry. Shit, I'm sorry... sorry, sorry, sorry...." He was hysterical. Near wasn't in a much better state, although he was much quieter about it. He was trembling silently, hiccuping every now and then. All those years of denying himself human emotions were catching up with him, and he clutched the front of Matt's shirt as if it were the only thing in the world. He had really cared for Mello, he now realized, but he'd never allowed the other boy to know. Mello had gone to an early grave, thinking that Near had hated him.

"I'm sorry, Mello..." Near whispered. "I'm so sorry..."

* * *

A/N: Okay, so it didn't get much better yet, but trust me, it will turn out okay.

Tell me what you think! thanks

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	5. Chapter 5

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Five~

* * *

Watari felt terrible about the whole thing. He really did; he knew how much Matt relied on Mello. It had to be done, though, to protect them all. He and Roger had agreed on that. There was a traitor among them, and he knew that the traitor wouldn't reveal himself if he believed Mello was still alive. To make it convincing to everyone, they all had to think that Mello had died. He hadn't told Gevanni, although he did have him keeping a close eye on Matt, to make sure that he didn't do anything drastic. He didn't _think _that he would, but by now, Watari had learned just how bad he was at reading "his" children. After all, so far, his track record for preventing tragedy among them hadn't been very good. First there was A, who had committed suicide, and then BB, who kind of went off the deep end, killing three people. F...well, F hadn't actually done anything harmful, but he hadn't made it out alive when they rescued Near from that village. He had been immensely surprised at Near's reaction to Mello's supposed death. The fact that he had shown _any _emotion one way or another was surprising, let alone being as upset as he was. Now, all there was left to do was wait.

"No! I'm not waiting!" Matt slammed his hand against the wall.

"Matt, relax and hear me out," Roger tried reasoning with him.

"Relax? Relax?! That bastard killed Mello, and you want me to relax? It's been three fucking days already! Well, fuck you! Look what happened last time you told me to wait!" Roger sighed heavily. This would all be so much easier if he could just _tell_ Matt that Mello was alive... but no. That would ruin all of their plans, so Matt was just going to have to deal with it.

"Matt, listen to me. If you want to have any chance of catching the perpetrator, you have to obey L and me." Matt clenched his hands into tight fists, gritting his teeth. He could see that he was getting nowhere; the only way he was going to get anywhere would be to appease the man.

"You know what? Fine. Whatever. Just fucking leave me alone." He didn't want to sound too compliant, because that would definitely raise some suspicion. He stormed away, looking for the only other person he could trust right now.

"Near. We need to talk," Matt said when he had finally found him. Near looked up from his tower of dice.

"Yes. I've formulated a plan, and it involves you." That stopped Matt in his tracks. Huh? He hadn't been expecting that... at least Near had a plan; that was farther than he'd gotten yet.

"Oh, yeah?" Near nodded, following Matt into the outside corridor, where they were sure there were no microphones. "So what were you thinking?"

"I need you to rescue me," Near stated matter-of-factly.

"Um, excuse me?" Matt wasn't sure he had heard him correctly.

"The killer targets children and women. Neither of us are women. You look your age, whereas I resemble a child." Ok, now Matt saw where this was going...

"No, Near. You can't do that."

"You may be right... there is a 47% chance that he will either see through this plan or that he will not be interested, for factors including age, gender, and appearance." He blinked at Matt very seriously.

"No, I mean, it's too dangerous. You can't do that." Near's face took on a hint of a frown.

"Why can't I? I do not understand. I know the dangers, and I am willing to take them." Matt shook his head forcefully.

"No, Near! No! I don't want you to die, too!" Near's eyes widened almost comically.

"Matt, what are you saying?" He didn't understand what Matt meant...

"You moron, I'm saying that it's too dangerous, and I don't want you to die! You're- you're my friend!" He looked away, his cheeks reddening. Near jerked backwards. No, no, no. He couldn't be his friend. "Near? Near, what's wrong?" Near looked even more pale than usual, if that were possible, and his eyes were full of fear. This frightened Matt, who wasn't used to seeing anything other than boredom or disdain in his eyes. "Near, what did I say?"

"We cannot be friends," he stated shakily. "We cannot be friends."

"What? What are you talking about? Why not?" Matt wasn't angry; he knew that something was terribly wrong with Near. "What's wrong, Near?" The white-haired boy shook his head again.

"No. We cannot be friends," he insisted, before spinning around, ducking into his room, and slamming the door.

Matt ran a hand through his hair. "What the fuck was that all about?" He looked around for Gevanni. Matt knew he would be lurking nearby, and sure enough, he was just a short distance away, clearly absorbed in his computer. "Hey, Gevanni," Matt called to the black-haired man. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Gevanni stepped away from his computer screen, turning to face Matt.

"Yes? What's the matter?" Matt smirked at Gevanni's immediate assumption that something was wrong. Of course, around there, there usually was something wrong.

"It's about Near." Gevanni stiffened, and Matt couldn't help but note the man's protectiveness of the boy. "What's up with him? He's acting really strange..." Gevanni sighed.

"I know. I haven't been able to figure that out either. He won't talk to me."

"Well, I just asked him, and he ran away from me. And slammed the door." Gevanni stared at him, his mouth hanging open. While Near preferred to avoid social interaction, he was usually never that blatant about trying to escape from it.

"Well..." he pondered for a moment. "What were you two talking about beforehand? What set him off?"

"He- I said something about how he was my friend, and he got really weird, and kept saying how we couldn't be friends. He wouldn't say why, though. He just ran away." Gevanni sighed.

"Matt... I think he's upset about Mello dying. He and Mello weren't even friends, and yet Mello's death still brought such pain. I think that he's afraid of being hurt like that again. If you're his friend, then you can be taken away from him. In his mind, that's a weakness because you could be used against him. He's afraid of getting closer to you and then losing you, too." It was Matt's turn to stare. He hadn't expected such a thorough, logical answer, but it all made perfect sense.

"Wow. You know him really well..." Gevanni said nothing, but Matt couldn't miss the blush that spread across the older man's cheeks as he resumed his work. "Oh... you... you like him?" The man's gaze snapped instantly back to Matt, his expression alarmed.

"What?! What do you mean? Nothing like that was even mentioned..." He blushed even more when he realized that he had only confirmed Matt's suspicion.

"You should find a way to let him know." Gevanni shook his head emphatically. "Oh, come on. It isn't a big deal. I mean, look at me and Mello..." Matt's voice trailed off as he realized what he had just said. "O-Oh," he stammered, clearly flustered. "I-I guess I'll let you get back to your work, then..." He rushed out of the room before Gevanni could say anything. He sighed. He felt horrible for Matt, and couldn't imagine what he was going through... then he though of Near. What if Near were to die? What if Near died, and he'd never told him how he felt... he would never forgive himself. Or if he himself were to die without confessing to Near...he couldn't let that happen. He decided to confess to him once and for all... but how would he do that? He knew the boy better than anyone, and he knew that just walking up to him and pronouncing his undying love for him would only frighten him away.

* * *

A/N: Hey. ummmm.... yeah. thank you for reading, and thank you all for your reviews. I really appreciate them, and I'm really glad that you seem to be liking this. so once again, tell me what you think! thank you!!!

Yay! You should be happy. I know some people were angry about Mello's "death." sorry about that, but... it works. trust me.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	6. Chapter 6

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Six~

* * *

Gevanni knocked on the door to Near's room, but there was no response. He sighed.

"Near? Near, I know you're in there... please, open the door." Still no response. "Near, I need to talk to you. It's very important. It involves the case," he lied. He knew that Near wouldn't want to talk about anything unless it was strictly case-related.

"Enter," came the sharp reply from within. Gevanni pushed the door open to find the younger boy sitting at his desk in his usual, L-like position, stacking die after die on top of each other. "What did you wish to discuss?" he asked coldly without turning around. This was what Gevanni had been afraid of; he had shut himself off even more, was putting even more effort into being stoic and emotionless. This was how he got anytime anything bad happened, although there hadn't really been many occurrences of this caliber. This wasn't good; at this rate, Near would push him even farther away than he already was.

"Near, look at me." Gevanni was surprised at the authority that his own voice held. Usually, it was Near who gave the orders to him, not the other way around. Perhaps this was why Near complied almost immediately, studying Gevanni with slightly bloodshot eyes. His expression was, as usual, blank, but Gevanni thought he could see a weary, more human element struggling to be revealed. Of course, as much as he tried to suppress it, Near was only human, and as much as he fought to ignore his feelings, he still felt joy, pain, fear... love. "Near, please talk to me."

"Gevanni, you have my full attention. Now what do you want?"

"Look, I know you're upset about Mello-"

"Why would I be upset about him? I have no logical reason to mourn his death," Near snapped.

"Near, stop! Stop acting like a machine! You aren't a robot; you have feelings, regardless of how hard you try to deny it!" Gevanni hadn't meant to shout, and Near looked a little taken aback. His assistant never lost his temper, even when Near acted childish. He turned back to his dice, but managed to knock them down with his elbow. With trembling hands, he scrambled to pick them up. He couldn't lose control of his emotions again, especially in front of another person. He'd already broken down in front of Matt, and that had been humiliating enough. Besides, what would Gevanni think if he were to act out in front of him? He would probably think that he was weak and unable to control himself. He couldn't have that. He respected Gevanni too much for that, and appreciated the way he was always taking care of him. No one else had ever paid as much attention to Near as Gevanni did. "Near, please don't push me away..." What was he talking about? Near wasn't pushing anyone away. He just wasn't allowing them to get close to him. Having and maintaining relationships with other people was simply not worth the trouble. Humans are far too unpredictable for that, and Near hated not being able to predict what someone would say or do.

"I'm not. I just do not see a reason to talk about this. My performance on the case is not suffering, so it is of no consequence." Gevanni shook his head sadly.

"Near, please. Don't keep telling yourself that. Look at me, Near." The boy refused, so he gently grabbed his chin, forcing him to turn his head. Near flinched from the contact, but Gevanni didn't back off. "Near. You have to let someone get close to you. Matt told me how upset you got when he said you were his friend. Don't let that upset you, Near. It's a good thing to have friends." Near shook his head, closing his eyes.

"No. Anything more than a mutually benevolent relationship has the potential to end in disaster." He was speaking very technically.

"Yes, but you can't go through life without relationships. You do realize that, don't you?" Near blinked at him slowly, as he often did when he was formulating a response.

"No. I fail to see the reasoning behind that assertion."

"Near, let me ask you something. Are you happy?" This time, Near flat-out ignored the question, starting to stack his dice. Gevanni, in a very uncharacteristic act of frustration, swept his hand across the table, sending the dice flying in every direction. He almost regretted doing it when the white-haired boy made a quiet sound of distress, but he was glad that he had gotten some sort of reaction out of him. "Near, answer me. Are you happy?" Near glared at him, and Gevanni was shocked to see that his eyes were slightly teary.

"No. I am not. You have knocked over my dice, and now I must retrieve them." Touche.

"Near, that's not what I meant and you know it." He sighed, tired of fighting with the boy. "Are you happy with your life? Are you happy being alone, night after night, stacking your dice or your cards or your blocks?" Near flinched slightly, but Gevanni was on a roll, and would be damned if he would stop. "Do you enjoy having only 'mutually benevolent relationships' with a few people? Do you like having no one to turn to when you're frightened, or upset? You have Matt, but according to you, he's not your friend. You have no one, Near. Do you enjoy that?" He'd gotten so worked up that he hadn't noticed as Near's eyes finally overflowed. The boy was silent as the tears escaped, unbidden and unwelcome. As soon as he realized what his words had done, he changed his angry tone to a much kinder, more soothing one. "Near, it doesn't have to be like that," he whispered, reaching out to smooth the boy's hair. Near tried to pull away from the contact, but Gevanni wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. "Hey, it's okay," he murmured as Near's body stiffened in response.

"Please stop touching me," Near whispered pathetically.

"No." Near's eyes widened in shock and alarm. "No, I won't. Because even if you won't admit it, I know you don't like being alone. I know that you want to interact with people, even if you don't know how to. So no, I'm not letting you go." Near didn't respond, and he hadn't relaxed, but at least he had stopped struggling. That was a start... Gevanni coaxed Near into sitting in the comfy chair with him, wrapping his arms around the boy sitting on his lap. Near still refused to look at him, and his eyes still leaked. The only indication that he was crying were the occasional quiet hiccups that managed to escape. Gevanni sat there, repeatedly smoothing his snowy bangs away from his forehead in a comforting manner, and eventually the boy's body relaxed, his hiccups and tears slowing to a stop. "So, Near," he finally said, his voice still calming, "Please, _please_ stop trying to push Matt and me away. We care about you, and I-" He took a deep breath. "Well, I love you." Near's body stiffened again, but Gevanni only held on tighter. "Hey! Relax, Near. Relax. I'm telling you because I don't want to regret never telling you. You don't have to say anything, okay? Think it over or ignore it, just please, don't get upset." Near shook his head, although since he didn't speak, Gevanni wasn't sure what he meant. Hopefully, he meant that he wasn't upset. After a almost five minutes of sitting there holding Near, Gevanni realized that the boy had fallen asleep, his thumb partially in his mouth. He smiled as he watched his sleeping face, so much less guarded than while conscious. The poor boy had had a long, rough day, and he must have been exhausted. Careful not to jostle him awake, he stood and carried the limp body over to the bed, where he placed him gently. As he pulled up the covers, he leaned over, kissing the sleeping boy's forehead. "Sleep well," he whispered before turning off the lights and leaving the room.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading!!! Glad you seem to be liking this. thank you for your reviews! they make me very happy. Why does this chapter seem so short? It's almost the exact same length as the previous chapter... whatever. I'm special like that.

I know they're kinda ooc, but... I always think my characters are. I'm trying, though. like I said before, I don't really have much to go on with Gevanni, because he isn't in it very much.

sooo tell me what you think! Thank you so much!!! I have a baby rat helping me type this... and by helping me type, I mean trying to walk across the keyboard and attempting to steal my food. oh well, she's cute.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	7. Chapter 7

(I don't own Death Note. If I did, the good characters would still be alive.)

* * *

~Chapter Seven~

* * *

Near woke up, wondering why his eyes were hurting. They felt swollen, almost as if... oh. He _had_ been crying the night before. He buried his face back in his pillow, his body curling into the fetal position. This was not good. Not only had he totally broken down twice in the last twenty-four hours, he also didn't understand _why _he'd done that. He didn't know anything about what he was feeling, except that it hurt. And he didn't like it. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? It made no sense. He wasn't supposed to feel like everything was falling apart. He wasn't supposed to get upset, and dammit, he **wasn't** supposed to cry! And then, there was the reason that he had been crying in the first place... Gevanni. It wasn't even so much what Gevanni had said that frightened him; it was the fact that he wasn't totally repulsed by the idea. It was... not practical, to say the least. How could he face him today? And what was he supposed to say to him? He could act as if nothing had happened... perhaps that was the best plan. It would hurt Gevanni, no doubt, but he would understand that it was for the best. Hopefully.

When he entered the main room, though, Gevanni was nowhere to be seen.

"Hello," called Lewin, one of the agents from the American branch. Near only nodded at him, and the man went back to his work. He was pleased to see that there were quite a few people there already. He approached the head of the Russian branch, a large man named Benedikt Vitali.

"Good morning," Near began briskly, not really meaning it to be kind. "What conclusions have been drawn?" The man nodded respectfully before reporting.

"The killer's pace has picked up. Before he was only killing once every six or seven days, but now it has increased to almost every other day." Near was pleased to hear that. If he could get Matt to agree to work with him, they could get their plan set up within the day. "He hasn't yet begun to target victims outside of his comfort zone. All of them have been within a forty-mile radius of each other. Using this information, we can assume that he operates from somewhere within this area." He gestured to an area on the map that had been circled in red. Hmm...

"Make a copy of that map for me," he instructed, the man nodding. This was the key to having his plan work...

Matt lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He still was having a hard time convincing himself that Mello was gone... it wasn't fair. Mello, the only one who had been willing to put up with him, the one that had been his best friend... the one who he had loved. It shouldn't have happened. Matt couldn't understand how it could have happened, and Roger hadn't really given him any concrete details yet. It just didn't make sense to him that Mello would have been so careless, that he would have let his guard down long enough for him to be killed.

"Shit," he muttered miserably. He was both angry and lost. Mello had also been his partner in all of the cases they worked on; they worked perfectly as a team, each one providing certain characteristics that the other lacked. Without Mello, Matt felt like just half of a whole. He felt incomplete. "I gotta do something..." He hadn't given Near's idea much thought as of yet. It was ridiculous. Near would be in too much danger; he couldn't bear if something had happened to him also. But... it could work. Especially knowing Near, and his affinity for coming up with plans (and traps) that worked.

Near was surprised when Matt sought him out first.

"Hello." Matt nodded to him in response. "Have you thought about my idea?"

"Yes... I think it could work, but-"

"Good," Near interrupted him. "I was able to procure a map of the murder sites, and have worked out the place most likely to put us in his path. What I need you to do is set up an easily-concealable, two-way microphone set so that we are able to communicate even if we are unable to maintain visual contact with each other." Near was off and running, and Matt knew that there would be no going back on it. "You will need to be armed; I will need to dress as a low- to middle- class Russian child if we hope to fool the suspect."

"When are we going to do this?"

"We will put the plan into action as soon as preparations are complete." Matt nodded.

"I can have the microphones ready by this evening. Did you want to do it tonight, or tomorrow?" Near paused for a moment.

"There is a chance that the murderer will not even be out, or that he will not strike. Even if he does strike, it doesn't mean that he will choose me. For this reason, I suggest that we position ourselves where there is no way I will be missed. I must look as vulnerable as possible. We should try tonight, continuing tomorrow if we are unsuccessful." Wow. He really had thought of everything, hadn't he?

"Well... what if I can't get to you in time? What if he actually gets you?"

"I suggest bringing someone in the form of backup. Not Gevanni; he would not allow our plan to be carried out, but perhaps one of the other members of the team. I will leave that up to you as well. Use your discretion." Matt nodded grimly. It made sense that Matt would have to find someone, as Near was unfamiliar with the other members on any sort of personal level.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do."

Six hours later, Matt was putting the finishing touches on the miniscule radio transmitter that would be Near's means of communication with him. He wanted to make sure that it worked perfectly, and he had already corrected three or four bugs with it. He wanted Near to be able to call him for help if the need arose. He'd had to move from the lab to the confines of his personal room after a few of the other members of the task force had expressed interest on his project. He had waved away their questions with vague explanations, but the suspicious looks from them had made him uneasy. He had wracked his brain over and over again, trying to decide if there was anyone who he trusted enough to let in on the plan, but he came up short. Not that he found anyone in the task force particularly _un_trustworthy, but he just didn't know anyone well enough to entrust them with Near's life.

Near sat in his room impatiently, waiting for Matt to come find him. He'd already been over the case details; once he had read something, he didn't need to read it again to be able to recite it perfectly. Finally, Matt arrived, and the two of them set out. In the hallway, almost to the garage where the task force kept the cars, Matt groaned in irritation.

"Where are you two going?" called one of the more annoying members of the team. He had previously been an English agent, but had been working with the Russian task force for several years now.

"We're just going out, Wendell," Matt lied lamely, hoping the man would buy it. Apparently, though, the idea of Near going out was too ridiculous, as Wendell raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Where? There isn't much for you guys to do at night here..." Matt glared.

"This city is very rich in historical significance," Near responded icily. "I asked Matt to accompany me so that I might witness the works of Tsar Peter for myself." Wendell raised both eyebrows.

"Ooookay then. Whatever floats your boat... but hey, be careful," he told them, patting both of them on the shoulder. Near's expression showed nothing but utter contempt for the both the man himself and for being touched so casually and unexpectedly.

"I am always exceptionally careful." Wendell shrugged as he walked away, and Matt leaned in to whisper to Near.

"I don't trust him." Near said nothing, considering this.

"I do not have enough information on him or experience in dealing with him to pass judgement as of yet." Matt could tell that, although he appeared to be totally nonchalant and bored with their mission, Near was actually rather nervous. His diction and dialect had become more sophisticated than usual, a sign of discomfort in the boy. They made it out to the car, and Matt drove them to an inexpensive used clothing store.

"Stay here and don't open the door for anyone," Matt instructed, feeling like a housewife talking to a small child. "Keep the door locked until I get back, and if anyone tries to get in, lay on the horn."

"I appreciate your concern, but I believe that I am able to handle remaining in the car on my own for a maximum of ten minutes." Yeah, so he had a point, but still. Matt couldn't help but worry.

Near followed Matt's orders, and a few moments later, Matt returned bearing nothing short of a small wardrobe.

"I do not believe that you have purchased an adequate amount of clothing," Near reprimanded, sounding deadly serious. Matt was confused for a moment, until he realized that Near had actually made a joke. He shook his head, smiling.

"Probably not... we'll have to make do with what we have, though. But seriously, I wasn't sure what you had in mind or what would work and not look out of place. Here, take your pick." Near had almost been hoping that Matt would know what would be an appropriate outfit for such a role, but he picked out what he thought looked fairly reasonable, changing into them in the front seat of the car. Matt coughed and looked away, blushing, but Near was unaware of his partner's discomfort. Once he had changed, Matt brought out the microphone sets he had been working on earlier. "Here," he said, motioning for Near to come closer. Being careful to touch him as little as possible, Matt fitted him with the contraption. "You hold this remote control device. Just push this button when you want to talk. This smaller button will send me a distress signal, regardless of whether you're able to speak or not. Stay in one designated spot, and if you feel that you're in any danger, contact me. Okay? And if someone starts acting suspicious, contact me and let me know where you are." Near remained in his peculiar sitting position throughout the explanation, only sitting up when Matt had stopped talking.

"You will transport me to the decided location?"

"Yes. Or rather, to a place roughly a block north of the decided location, so that you can walk to that location without being seen getting out of a car."

"Very well. Let us proceed." Matt stopped Near, looking into his eyes, an act that made Near quite nervous.

"Near, you don't have to do this, you know. You can still back out now." Near shook his head resolutely.

"I appreciate your concern; however, I have no intention of jeopardizing this case due to personal fears," he replied. Matt nodded, putting the car into drive and headed to the lot where he was to be left.

"Alright. Near, good luck, and be careful." Near nodded once, before crawling out of the car where he stood forlornly, looking like a lost puppy in his cheap, slightly too big children's clothing and his bare feet. Almost immediately upon exiting the car, he put his hands on the damp, dirty ground and then pressed his hands to his face, hair, clothing, etc. and rubbed gently. Now he truly fit the part of the poor Russian child that he needed. Matt bid him good luck once more, watching as Near walked away from the car. He went to find a place to park, then waited at the decided wait-spot. And waited. And waited. Finally, getting somewhat concerned, he paged Near.

"Hey. You okay?" For nearly an entire minute, no one responded on the microphone until he heard a cruel voice break through the silence. "I personally am okay, what about you?" the voice mocked.

"Who the fuck are you?" Matt hissed.

"Why don't you find that out yourself? Until then, don't expect your friend to return." Matt yelled into the microphone, but the other person refused to answer.

"Shit shit shit shit, SHIT!" Matt's mind was racing. "Shit." He whipped out his cell phone, quickly dialing Roger.

"Matt? Where the fuck are you?" The man's sharp voice and use of a swear word made Matt wince. Roger's tone was often very sharp, but he never swore unless he was extraordinarily angry. Matt felt like he was an expert on the finer points of Roger's anger; him and Mello had been the targets of it many, many times.

"Roger. I lost Near."

"What?!"

"I fucking lost Near! I fucking lost him! He has him!" Matt wasn't thinking clearly enough to explain further.

"Who has him, Matt?" Roger's voice suddenly changed to strangely gentle and patient, as if he knew how crucial it was to keep Matt calm.

"The fucker who's been killing people! The-The child molester..." A horrible thought occurred to him. "Shit! He's probably doing terrible things to him... shit!"

"Matt, calm down and tell me where you are." With minimal amounts of prodding, Roger managed to find out where Matt was, and he sent one of his assistants to get him and a few of his personal assistants to search for Near. He also managed to get a vague idea of what the original plan was that had gone bad. Once he was sure Matt was safely with his assistant, he called Watari. He explained what had happened with the two boys.

"Don't worry. I'll send him right away..."

"Thank you, Watari." Roger hung up the phone, pleased with himself.

Within three hours, the task force jet had arrived, carrying precious cargo.

"Where the hell is that moron Matt?" Mello demanded upon exiting the plane. When he had finally tracked Matt down, he tried to catch him in a huge kiss, but Matt ducked to the side, shouting angrily.

"What the fuck, Mello?! Why the _fuck_ did you let me believe you were dead?" Mello shrugged.

"It had to be done. I'm sorry, Matt." He sounded angry at the apology, as if it were below his pride.

"You're sorry? I thought you were dead! _**Dead!!!**_ I believed you were dead! As in, never coming back, deceased, gone, cold and stiff, etc! Do you know how much that _hurt?!_ I... I can't function without you. Okay? I can't focus, and I just, I miss you. I was so scared, Mel." Mello hugged Matt tightly, kissing the top of his head. For all of his douchebaggery, he never liked to see Matt in pain or upset.

"I know... I'm so sorry, Matt. It's okay." Matt shook his head.

"No, it's not okay! They got Near, because of me! It was all my fault. I need you to help me save him."

"Why should I help that bastard?" Matt was shocked.

"W-What?"

"You know. Why should I help him? Why not just let the suspect have him for a while? What has he ever done for me? Besides, it's nice to be rid of him for a while." Matt was, by this point, livid, and much to his surprise as well as Mello's, he punched Mello in the jaw. "What the fuck was that for?" Mello glared while he rubbed his jaw.

"Why are you being such an ass?"

"Huh?" Mello clearly didn't comprehend, and it was annoying Matt deeply.

"Why the fuck would you say that about him? He isn't that bad, and you know it. And now he's in danger."

"He is an ass, and to be honest, I'll be glad to be rid of him." Matt glared fiercely at Mello.

"What the fuck, Mello? You... don't know anything, do you? He cried for you, you bastard. He fucking cried for you!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"When you were 'dead.' Near fucking cried because he thought you were gone. He _**cried**_."

"Bullshit. He doesn't care about anyone other than himself." This made Matt furious.

"No, Mello, that's _**you.**_ You're the one who doesn't give a shit about anyone other than yourself," he spat out. Mello glared back at his best friend, opening his mouth to speak, but Matt was not done. "Do you ever stop to think about what other people feel? Do you? No, of course you don't. When was the last time you actually asked me how I was doing, or if I was okay? When was the last time you saw Near and weren't a complete ass to him? When was the last time you ever cared about anyone other than yourself?" Matt was out of breath, and Mello looked slightly taken aback, as if he wasn't sure what to make of this. "You never even stopped to think that maybe Near isn't as much of a jerk as you make him out to be. He... he cares for you, Mello, whether you want to admit that or not. He wants to be your friend, and he doesn't understand why you don't like him. The entire fucking reason he's in danger is because the two of us wanted to avenge your 'death.' So don't you _dare_ say that he doesn't deserve to be saved. If he dies, it will have been for you, you arrogant bastard. Do you even get that? Do you?" Mello was now looking both angry and amazed.

"Yeah! Whatever! I'll help look for the little brat! Happy?" No, Matt was not happy.

"Stop being such a jerk about him. What the fuck is your problem?" Mello threw his hands in the air.

"What's my problem? Really? Why the hell are you so worried about him? Why do you spend so much time with him? What the hell?" Suddenly, Matt understood.

"Mel, are you jealous of him? Do you think he's taking me away from you?"

"NO!" Mello shouted, making it clear that he really meant "yes."

"Mello, relax. I love you. Okay? Near is my friend. That's it. I love you. Besides, Gevanni gets dibs on Near," he joked.

"Gevanni? Really?" Mello felt slightly better; he didn't like Matt defending Near so much... it made him wonder why Matt liked the little freak so much...

"Yeah. So are you gonna help find him, or not?" Mello smirked.

"Yeah, I think I could arrange for that to happen..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well. The reason I was 'dead' was because there's someone within the task force who we can't trust. We weren't sure who, but evidence kept disappearing."

"What? Why didn't anyone tell us that... we could have been more careful..." Mello rolled his eyes.

"Because, dumbass, you and Near suck at being tactful and sneaky." He had a point... "One of you would have accidentally let something slip, sooner or later." Matt glared, but he knew Mello was right. "Anyway, as I was saying, where do you think I went?" He paused for a moment before smiling arrogantly and putting a hand to his chest. "I made a few visits to old... ah... 'acquaintances,' if you get my drift." Matt did in fact get his drift; he knew that he was referring to his less-than-legal ties. His gang members still viewed him as the boss, even though he had allowed his second-in-command to run the affairs for the time being. "So they came with me, and they are working on finding the bastard as we speak." Matt sighed in relief. He'd seen plenty of times how effective Mello's gang was at working as a team and getting things done. If anyone could save Near, these men could. The thought wasn't exactly reassuring.

"So what? What do we do now?"

"We head out ourselves, and we wait for them to contact us." Matt was sick of waiting.

"But we'll be searching while we wait, right?" Mello nodded.

"Of course. We would waste too much time, otherwise, and in this situation, time is of utmost importance."

"Good. Just a moment, I'll be right back," he told Mello as he rushed out of the room. Mello sighed and shook his head. As endearing as it could be at times, Matt's ADHD could also be totally infuriating. Fortunately, Matt returned quickly, Gevanni in tow.

"What's going on?" The older man asked, his expression tense and grim.

"You heard about Near?" Matt asked, cringing.

"Yes! How the fuck did you lose him?"

"I'll explain it later. We're going to... search for him."

"I'm coming with you."

"I know, that's why I came to get you." Matt quickly got to work, attempting to pinpoint the location of the microphone he had given Near. It proved to be more difficult than he had originally thought; apparently, Near's captor had discovered the tracking device and destroyed it or otherwise disabled it. He could still manage to find a signal from the smaller, considerably weaker one that he had installed as an after thought, but he would have to be actively receiving communications from it. Praying that he would be able to evoke a response from the other end, he called Near's name. "Near! Near, can you hear me?" Almost immediately, there came a response that made Matt freeze.

"Oh, he can hear you, all right," cooed a sinister voice. "Would you like to tell him something, dear Matt?"

* * *

A/N: Yikes! Poor Near! um.... I don't have much to say right now. tell me what you think!!!

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	8. Chapter 8

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Eight~

* * *

Even before he opened his eyes, Near knew that something was terribly wrong. His hands were tied (never a good sign) and he was laying on a cold, metal surface. His mind raced as he tried to recall what had happened. He'd been sitting by the docks, waiting, when.... oh. The cloth, and the chemical smell that had made everything go black... he cursed himself mentally. How could they have been so careless? He must have stirred slightly in his distress, because his captor noticed that he was awake.

"Hello, Near." Near's heart skipped a beat. How did this man know his name? "Don't pretend to be asleep. It won't help you." The man sounded dangerous, and Near cautiously opened his eyes, his mind racing as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. It didn't look like a serial killer's lair, but then, they rarely do. He was in a small kitchen, heavy drapes completely blocking the windows, making it poorly lit. He was laying on a large, metal table, almost in the center of the room, and perched on a stool by the counter was a thin man, his dark brown hair greying. The smell of alcohol was strong, but the man did not appear to be inebriated. A cigarette hung from the corner of his mouth, sending tendrils of smoke into the already smoky air. "Did you sleep well?" As was expected, his voice was heavily accented, marking him as a native of Russia. He laughed cruelly at Near's silence. "I did not think so. I was not expecting to have so much fun tonight." Near's body shivered involuntarily, making the man laugh harshly. "Until I received a call from my... friend." He smirked at the small boy before him. "Oh, yes, my dear. I know all about you. Did you really think I would fall for something like that? Even that dimwit could see straight through you two and your plan." Near's mind raced through the implications of the man's words, trying to figure out who he meant by 'dimwit.' A sudden sound of static made Near jump, but his captor just looked lazily towards the counter, where Near could see his microphone that Matt had set up.

"Near!" Matt's voice broke through, the urgency clearly audible even through the static. "Near, can you hear me?" The man picked up the microphone, pressing the respond button.

"Oh, he can hear you, all right. Would you like to tell him something, dear Matt?" There was silence for a moment before Matt responded.

"Who the fuck are you, and how do you know my name?" The man just laughed.

"Why would I tell you the answers to either of the questions?" he asked, his voice mocking as he took a seat next to the table. Near fought the urges to jerk away from the man's hand as it made its way lazily across his face to play with his hair.

"You bastard! What have you done with Near?"

"Oh, nothing... yet." His voice left nothing to the imagination, making it clear what he meant by 'yet.'

"No! What are you doing to him?" Matt's voice sounded desperate, as if stalling for time, and Near's heart leapt at the hope that maybe Matt knew what he was doing after all. Perhaps if they stalled enough, Matt would figure out a way to find him, to save him... yes. Matt would come for him.

"Oh, I believe you know what I'm planning for him... don't worry. You'll see him in a few days. What's left of him, anyway... Now good bye. I have things to do. You wouldn't want me to ignore my guest, now would you? That would be impolite." Ignoring Matt's protests, the man clicked the switch to turn the microphone off, smiling grotesquely at Near. "Yes, I know what he thought he was doing." What? "He thought that he could track this device." He held up the microphone. "But what he doesn't know is that I took out the tracker." He held up a small computer chip. "And then I destroyed it." He dropped it into a trash can before coming closer to Near. This time, Near was unable to resist flinching from the man's rough touch. "Ah, do not worry about that. I wish to have some fun with you before I do anything... drastic." Near had never been so scared in his life, nor had he ever felt so hopeless. He wasn't sure exactly what the man had in mind, but it wouldn't be pleasant. Suddenly, the man's face twisted into a terrifying, angry expression. "And you! You and your friends thought you could fool me! You thought you could catch me!" He slapped Near's cheek so hard that it left the boy's ears ringing. "You fools! No one will outsmart me. Especially not you. I know everything about you. You're not as young as I would prefer, but... you will be fun. I am sure of that." Near flinched away from the next blow, which only seemed to infuriate the man. Near was grabbed roughly by the hair and shaken, bringing tears to his eyes. _Matt!_ he pleaded silently. _Help me, Matt... Gevanni... I'm sorry, Gevanni._ He felt an inexplicable wave of guilt at the thought of the older man's face, and he wanted nothing more than to be held in his arms, safe from harm. He was shocked at this revelation, but only for a moment, as a sharp pain cut into his thoughts. He gasped aloud, making his tormentor smirk with a sort of evil glee. There was a stinging feeling spreading across his chest, and he realized a moment later that the man had created a shallow cut, which was now oozing blood. The front of his shirt had been cut open, exposing the pale flesh.

"You are very pretty, I will give you that... but you look even prettier this way," the man whispered as he ran his scalpel down Near's chest and stomach again. Near bit his lip, fighting to maintain his composure against the pain. The man scowled at this. "You will cry for me. You will scream for me. When I am finished, you will be begging, _begging-_" He pushed slightly on the blade, making it cut more deeply "-for death." Near's blood trickled from the wound, running down his side to pool on the table. The man smiled sweetly. He untied Near's hands, holding his wrists tightly enough to bruise as he retied them to the legs of the table, leaving Near's body exposed in front of him. "That is better. Now I can see you much better." Near was not liking the way this was going. He clenched his eyes tightly shut as the man caressed the oozing wounds, murmuring to himself insanely. Suddenly, he brought the flat of his palm down on Near's bleeding chest as hard as he could. Near let out a small cry of pain. "See?" He smiled, almost kindly. "That is what I am looking for. Maybe if you are more cooperative, I will let you die quickly. Or not." With that statement, he took the cigarette from his mouth and ground it out just below Near's breastbone, burning the tender skin. Near moaned in pain, flinching away from the man's hands as they reached out for him. "Hm... what should we do next?" the man muttered, before his face broke out into a maniacal grin. "I think I know..." he whispered to Near as slid his hands down the boy's torso, nearing a... certain area.

"N-no!" Near moaned, but the man just smiled at him. _No.... anything but that. _But he had no say over what his captor did to him... He closed his eyes in fear and disgust at the feeling of the man's rough hands on his body, trying to block out the sensations. All he wanted was... to be away from there. Preferably with Gevanni, he realized again with a start. Okay, so... maybe he did have feelings for the man, regardless of how unprofessional such a relationship might be. He swore then and there that, if he got out of this mess alive (unlikely), that he would tell Gevanni just how he felt about him. But Matt... Matt wouldn't leave him here. Yes, he was sure of that. Matt would come for him.

* * *

Mello was shocked by Gevanni's reaction to the whole situation. He'd never seen the man lose his cool at all, let alone to this extent. He was currently sitting in a chair at the task force while Matt worked frantically on getting a location for the microphone signal. His head was in his hands, and his eyes were closed in anguish. He looked like he might get sick. And all this, for that little twerp? Unbelievable. Mello still wasn't sure how much he believed Matt's story about Near being upset about his death. It didn't make sense. He hated Near, so he'd always assumed that the feeling was mutual. And why wouldn't it be? They were rivals! They were fighting to be number one! And Near was so nonchalant about the whole thing, as if he could care less and didn't have to try... it infuriated Mello to no end. But, for some reason, Matt liked him, and Matt wanted Mello to save him, so here he was, trying to save that punk Near. Okay, so he didn't really want to leave him at the mercy of an insane rapist and murderer (that was too mean, even for Near), but he wasn't happy about having to rescue him. He shouldn't have gotten his sorry ass caught in the first place.

"Hah! There!" Matt stood up quickly and triumphantly, still typing rapidly. "There. This should give us a location on the microphone. The bastard took out the tracking chip, but he didn't even think to check for a backup." Well, at least someone had a good head on their shoulders.

"Good. Where is he?" Gevanni was on his feet in an instant, and Mello could see the strain in his face. He really was worried. As soon as Matt gave him the coordinates, he was out the door, Mello calling after him.

"Wait. We can't just rush in there. This guy is dangerous." Gevanni spun around to face him angrily.

"So we leave Near there even longer to deal with this man, unarmed and helpless? Every second we waste puts him in more danger!"

"I realize that, but at least let me contact my men so that they know where to go." He dialed the number of his most trusted underling, pleased when the man answered on the first ring. He gave the man directions and put his phone away. "They'll meet us there in ten minutes. Let's go."

Mello drove, not trusting anyone else. In his opinion, they were all morons. None of them were surprised when their directions led them to a small apartment in a dingy, dirty apartment building in the worst part of the city. Mello's men arrived just moments later, and, on orders from Mello, the two of them (the rest of them were using their interrogation talents to find the traitor at the task force) broke down the door without knocking. Mello, Matt, and Gevanni rushed in, guns drawn and shouting warnings in both English and Russian. Mello and Matt were able to tackle the man that they found inside, looking puzzled, but Gevanni paid him no attention. There was Near, still tied to the table, his body as curled up around itself as his restraints allowed. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his pajamas were torn to shreds. Gevanni felt his stomach lurch in panic as he rushed to the boy. It was obvious that terrible things had been done to him... He fought the urge to turn around and just shoot the bastard, instead using a kitchen knife to cut the ropes that bound Near. The boy let out a strangled sob, flinching violently and curling into a ball.

"Near, it's me. It's okay, you're safe. I've got you..." Gevanni whispered to him, gently stroking his hair, and then pulling him close to his body protectively. Near clung to the man's chest, pressing his face against the fabric of his suit. He made no noise, but trembled silently. "It's okay, now," he continued to murmur as he held the boy. "I'm here..." Near pressed himself against Gevanni's body even more, eventually glancing up at him before quickly looking away. His face was suddenly flushed. "Near? What's wrong?" Gevanni worried that he might have a fever, or be in shock.

"I-I like you," the pale boy stuttered, his face draining of all emotion. "I like you."

"W-what do you mean?" Gevanni was sure he hadn't heard correctly...

"I mean that I, against my better judgement, find myself attracted to you and craving your presence." Gevanni couldn't help but smile a bit. If Near was able to joke by speaking in the most sophisticated, technical terms possible, then he would be okay. Right now, though, he was trying his hardest to hide his current state of weakness.

"So... this is okay?" Gevanni whispered, tilting Near's chin upward to kiss him lightly on the lips. Near froze, unsure what to do. Gevanni, sensing this, pulled him gently closer, deepening the kiss and guiding Near. When Gevanni pulled away from Near, the boy was blushing, looking very insecure and flustered. "I'm sorry, that was... inappropriate. You're upset, and I shouldn't have taken advantage," Gevanni mumbled, realizing what he had done. Near shook his head violently, clutching Gevanni's shirt tightly.

"No. I like you. Not acknowledging it will not change that. Therefore, the most logical action is to embrace it. Humans function better when they are happy, and as romantic relationships stimulate the brain in positive ways, we are likely to function better this way." Near was still blushing, and was unable to look at Gevanni. Gevanni knew that Near was embarrassed and uncertain about this, so he tried to detach himself from it as much as possible, making sure it would not hinder anything, before even considering proceeding.

"Here," he told the boy, putting his jacket around his bare shoulders. Near winced and cried out quietly as his body was jostled, blood beginning to run freely from the cuts that had begun to scab over. His body was marred by multiple wounds, and his pale, fragile skin was already beginning to bruise in several places. His small frame was shaking, and his eyes were clenched shut, in both pain and fear. Gevanni once again fought the urge to turn around and just shoot the guy in the face. He had done this to Near; he had hurt him. That was **not** okay... that man **would** pay.

* * *

A/N: Hey, everyone. I hope you like this chapter, and I really apologize that it took me so long to update. I had writer's block, or something of the sort.

~jeez... I was reading this, and I realized that I always do terrible things to my characters... what does that say about me as a person? Hm.......

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~Thanks for reading, and I would really appreciate if you told me what you thought.

~alex~


	9. Chapter 9

(I don't own Death Note)

* * *

~Chapter Nine~

* * *

Near had been in the hospital room for almost an hour, and Gevanni was beside himself with worry. Matt watched the man as he sat in the waiting room, totally still. His hands were in his lap, and his lips were pursed as he stared at seemingly nothing. Anyone who didn't know him well wouldn't have noticed just how upset he was, but Matt saw how much more tense he was than normal. Matt was, of course, worried as well, but he was also extremely happy to have Mello back. Sure, he was still pissed that they had let him believe that Mello was dead, but it was hard to stay mad when he remembered the aching hole in his chest that had opened when he thought he had lost him. He couldn't handle Mello dying, and he knew that Mello felt the same about him (even if he was a total ass half the time). Right now, for example, Matt could tell that Mello was at least making an effort to be sensitive. He sat with Matt, rubbing his back lightly and occasionally stroking his hair, both things that Matt found very comforting.

"Mel..."

"Yeah?" Matt paused before continuing. He needed to word this carefully to avoid offending Mello.

"Um... please don't take this the wrong way or anything, but do you think that you could kind of, you know, lighten up on Near when he gets out of surgery?" Mello had stopped rubbing his back, and Matt was afraid that he had upset him.

"Would that make you happy?" the blond boy finally asked. Matt nodded woefully; he wasn't even sure that Near _would _be coming out of surgery... they had no way of knowing how he was doing, and Matt knew that Near had reacted badly to the anesthesia in the past. It was necessary, though, as there was suspected internal bleeding. Mello sighed heavily. "Alright. If that will make you happy, I won't go out of my way to pick on him. This doesn't mean that I'm going to be nice to him if he gets in my way, though." Matt smiled. He knew how hard it was for Mello to change his attitude towards the white-haired boy, and he was thrilled to know that Mello would do that for him.

"Excuse me, is there a Mr. Stephen Gevanni here?" A white-clad nurse had stepped into the tense waiting room, all of them so caught up in their own thoughts that they hadn't noticed her.

"Here," Gevanni responded immediately, standing up quickly. The nurse looked at her clipboard, and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Follow me, please." Matt was about to protest that he should go too, when she explained more. "You're listed as his emergency contact, and you have permission to his records." Mello noticed the strain on Matt's face, and put his arm around him.

"Matt, it'll be okay," he tried to comfort him. He wasn't very good at comforting people, but hey, it was worth a shot. Matt turned to give Mello a full-body hug, which was returned once Mello recovered from his surprise.

Gevanni obeyed the nurse, following her through corridor after endless corridor.

"Is he okay?" he asked her frantically.

"I wouldn't say that he's okay, but he's alive and in stable condition. Physically, at any rate..." Gevanni did not like the sound of that.

"But he will be okay, won't he?" She looked at him kindly.

"Yes, he should be alright, given time. What, if you don't mind me asking, is your relation to him?" Gevanni blushed slightly.

"I love him," he announced blatantly. "I... I love him." The nurse smiled.

"Good. He needs someone to take care of him for a while." They had stopped in front of a room. "Okay, Mr. Gevanni. This is where he is. He was just waking up when I went to find you, so I'll just check on him, and then I'll give you two some time together."

"Thank you so much, ma'am," he told her sincerely.

"It's my job. I don't like to see people suffer, so I do what I can." When they walked in the room, Gevanni's knees went weak with relief. There was Near, lying propped up on some pillows, looking around the room in a dazed sort of way. The nurse hurried over to him, checked the machines that he was hooked up to, asked him a question or two (which he seemed totally pissed off about having to answer), and exited, winking at Gevanni on her way out. As Near watched her leave, he saw Gevanni, and a shy smile ghosted across his face. Not speaking, he held out his arms, clearly wanting Gevanni to come closer to him.

"Near?" the man asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?" He held the boy's hand, absently rubbing it with his thumb. Near groaned.

"I feel... strange," he replied groggily. "My head is tingling." Gevanni laughed at that. It could be fun to mess with people when they were drugged up. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing really." He shrugged "I'm so glad to see you." Near smiled at this, shooting an unsure glance at Gevanni. He hoped that Gevanni really did want to see him, but he was having a hard time believing that someone with such wit and charisma would want to see a robot like him. He liked Gevanni, but he didn't know what to do about that, or how to act. The anesthesia must have still been wearing off, or something, because he was feeling very unusual.

"My... my stomach feels funny," he mumbled, almost sounding like a normal person. "And my throat and chest... it feels empty and light." Gevanni raised an eyebrow.

"Well, does it get worse when I do this?" he asked, leaning forward and kissing Near lightly on the cheek. As Near's heart rate rose, so did the steady beeping of the heart monitor. The boy blushed furiously, but Gevanni stroked his hair lovingly. "Hey, it's okay, Near. It's alright to have feelings like this. It's normal. Also, I love you. I wanted to tell you that again." His expression turned more serious. "And another thing, Near. Don't you _ever_ do something that dangerous again. **EVER**. Okay?" Near gazed at him, his eyes slightly frightful.

"Are you angry with me?" His voice sounded so hurt that Gevanni instantly felt guilty.

"No! Of course I'm not mad at you. I just... I was so afraid that we were going to be too late to save you. I mean, we were too late as it was. We should have found you sooner; then he couldn't have hurt you..." Near reached his trembling hand out again, and when Gevanni took it, Near tugged on his arm to bring him closer to him. When Gevanni was close enough, Near wrapped the man's arm around his shoulders, nestled into his chest, and promptly fell asleep. "Oops..." Gevanni watched the boy's sleeping face. He was a little surprised by him falling asleep, but then again, he'd been through a lot, had just come out of surgery, and was on pain medication. He should have known better than to wear him out too much, but he had needed to see his face, to hear his voice, to touch his skin, to prove that he was still there. He sighed again, leaning forward to press his lips gently to the boy's forehead.

"I love you, Near," he whispered, not noticing the way the boy's mouth curved upward ever-so-slightly. "Sleep well. I'll be right here with you."

* * *

A/N: yes, this chapter is sort of short and uneventful, but hey. we all need a little fluff once in a while.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

Thank you for reading!! I hope you liked it; let me know what you think!

~alex~


	10. Chapter 10

(I don't own Death Note.)

* * *

~Chapter Ten~

* * *

"Near!" Matt was overjoyed to see his friend awake. He was still in the hospital, and still somewhat drugged up on pain medications, but he was more or less coherent.

"Hello, Matt. Mello! You aren't dead!" Near smiled brightly, leaving both Matt and Mello surprised. Gevanni hid a smile behind his hand, approaching the two.

"Hey, guys. I know, I know. He's acting weird. The pain medication makes him more normal than anything... go figure."

"Um..." They turned to Near, who was looking forlornly at their group.

"Sorry, Near. We didn't mean to ignore you," Gevanni assured him, returning to his usual spot beside the bed. Near smiled again.

"Mello, what happened?" Mello was taken aback by the usually reserved boy's forward question.

"Well... Obviously, I'm not really dead... there was a guy in the force who was working with the guy who got you-" At this, Near flinched violently, clinging to Gevanni and clenching his eyes shut. Mello actually felt just a little bit bad. Very, very little bit. "And they knew there was a traitor, so Roger had me fake my death, hoping that they would be more confident with me out of the way. That part worked well, obviously. I had already been in contact with my... connections in America, and when you got captured, they had me rush back, with my most trusted men. And then, you know the rest..." Near had mostly recovered from his little episode, and he gave Mello a shaky, almost fearful smile.

"I don't hate you," he stated, and for a second, he seemed like his normal self as the emotion left his voice and face. "And I don't want you to hate me." With this statement, he turned to Gevanni, effectively ignoring Mello and Matt. Mello wasn't exactly sure what had just happened, but Near had made it clear that they were dismissed, so after a quick goodbye, they left the room.

"Near, are you okay?" Gevanni peered at him with concern. His face was even more pale than usual, and he was grimacing slightly. "Do you need more medicine?"

"Yes, but I do not want it right now," Near said, sounding more like himself with every word.

"Why not? Near, you shouldn't-"

"I want to try to speak with you and convey my feelings without the aid of a sedative." He looked away from Gevanni as he spoke, and his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Oh... well, what did you want to talk about?" Near fidgeted with the IV that was attached to his arm, and Gevanni had to take his hand to make him stop. "Don't mess with that; you'll pull it out."

"I don't want it." Near was... pouting? Gevanni smiled, hugging the boy tightly. Near was too taken aback and surprised to react until after the man had released him. He hadn't really liked that much contact at one time, but he didn't hate it either. "Um..." Gevanni watched in fascination. Near was never unsure of himself. Of course, he never talked about anything as ambiguous as emotions, let alone his own. "Just-just hold my hand," he finally mumbled, closing his eyes in embarrassment. Now, Gevanni would laugh at him. It only made sense. Near was the most awkward person ever, and Gevanni was not awkward at all, so of course he would laugh at him. But... the laughter never came. Instead, Gevanni held his hand, as requested. Near still didn't want to open his eyes, but the man began rubbing small circles on the back of his hand. "I apologize for my forwardness," he muttered, beginning to pull his hand away, but Gevanni lifted Near's hand, kissing it lightly. Near wasn't sure what to do about this. He didn't really understand what Gevanni was trying to say to him, and he wasn't sure if it was good. Generally, kisses were construed as good things, but not always. That _man_ had kissed him... Suddenly, he felt horrible about Gevanni having to sit in the hospital because of his stupidity. Gevanni noticed the abrupt change, and hurried to comfort Near.

"Hey, it's okay, Near. Don't worry about anything, okay?" Near shook his head angrily.

"No! It is entirely my fault that you are here. I should not have been so careless. I should have realized that the plan wouldn't work, and now you are stuck in the hospital with me, when you should be back, working on a case or resting." Gevanni was silent for a moment, watching Near, who had closed his eyes again. His expression was one of pain, but not just physical pain (although that was at least partially it). He reached his hand out to cup the boy's cheek, saddening slightly when Near flinched. He didn't remove his hand, though, and after a moment, Near placed his own hand over it, leaning into the touch.

"Near, it isn't your fault. You know that. Logically, you know that it isn't your fault." The boy refused to meet his eyes. "I'm serious. You can't blame yourself for it. So you made a mistake- everyone does. It doesn't excuse that sorry excuse for a man. It was his fault, not yours." Near shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes, but he didn't speak. Finally, after watching him shake his head repeatedly, Gevanni tried to get his attention. "Near, don't do that. You'll get dizzy." Near acted as if he hadn't heard him, and, taking care not to hurt him, Gevanni sat on the bed, pulling the boy close to his body, stroking his hair and soothing him with soft whispers. Near lay in Gevanni's hold, his small body trembling slightly. Gevanni moved away from him, apologizing. "Sorry... I shouldn't have touched you so much." Near's eyes went wide, and Gevanni quickly rephrased his words. "I mean, you don't like contact. I shouldn't have been so close and held on to you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." He was puzzled by Near's pleading expression. Finally, after scrunching his eyes closed, Near mumbled something unintelligible. "What? I didn't hear what you said..." Near's cheeks were now burning with heat.

"I said I love you," the boy blurted quickly, looking everywhere but at Gevanni, who was stunned. He definitely hadn't been expecting anything like that. Sure, Near had said that he liked Gevanni, but even so... "Stupid," Near muttered.

"What's stupid?"

"This. Me."

"Why would you say that? You know you're not stupid." Near glared at Gevanni.

"Shut up. Leave me alone." He turned over in the bed, leaving Gevanni staring at his back in confusion.

"Near, I'm not going anywhere." Near didn't respond, although Gevanni knew that he had heard him. He lay on the bed, on top of the covers and next to Near, who stiffened slightly at the feeling of another body so close to him. Slowly, with very deliberate movements, Gevanni put his arms around Near.

"Don't..." Near didn't sound too convincing, though, and Gevanni didn't make any move to leave. After a few minutes, Near relaxed, and Gevanni began stroking his hair. Near turned onto his other side, so that he was facing Gevanni. The older man noticed the wet streaks on Near's face, but said nothing about them.

"See? It's okay. And you aren't stupid, Near." Near closed his eyes as Gevanni cupped his cheek with his hand, murmuring soothing words to the boy and holding him close with the other arm.

"Why?" Near whispered softly.

"Why what?"

"Why do you stay here with me? You don't have to; I would be okay without you here. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a nice person, nor am I a great conversationalist. I don't even pretend to understand emotions, and I realize that I constantly make social blunders that I do not know how to fix. It makes no sense that you should stay here." Gevanni could tell that this had been bothering Near for a while. Why was he attracted to Near? Granted, the boy had excellent points, but there was more to it than cold logic.

"Well, let's see... Why do I stay here with you when I don't have to? Because I don't want to leave you here alone, in a strange place with strangers."

"They are trained medical personnel..."

"I know, but they don't know you like I know you. I also stay here partially to comfort myself; if I can see you, be sure that you're okay, I feel so much better. When I'm away, I worry what might happen to you. I know it's irrational, but that's how I feel. You might not always be the nicest person, but you're honest. Also, you aren't an excessively mean person. You don't go out of your way to hurt people. As for your conversation skills... I've never had a problem with them in the past. The way you speak is different from most people; your vocabulary is more elevated than that of others. That doesn't mean that you're boring to talk to. Social skills... Sure, you tend to say and do some things that most people wouldn't expect, or that they deem rude, but you don't do it out of spite. You just don't operate on the same plane as everyone else. You can't help it, though, and it isn't like you do it on purpose; you aren't trying to ostracize yourself from everyone. There's nothing wrong with you, Near. Other people just don't understand how your mind works... and they tend to react badly." Near was staring at Gevanni, enraptured by the man's in depth and accurate analysis of Near's personality. "Just because you see things differently than other people doesn't mean that you're any less of a person. I mean, you're good at memorizing and analyzing data. Numbers and structure make sense to you. People don't make sense to you, because they aren't structured and organized. They aren't predictable, and they don't follow a discernible pattern. It's okay, though. It doesn't mean that you have to be alone, just because you don't know how to relate with other people." Near hadn't even realized that the tears had started up again until Gevanni brushed them away.

"See?" He gestured to his face. "This is totally illogical. Why am I crying when I'm not upset?"

"Sometimes we cry when we're happy, or overwhelmed. It's just a way to release pent-up emotions and stress. I'd say that you're pretty entitled to cry all you want, considering the last few days." He kissed the top of Near's head. "It's okay to cry. It's healthy, actually."

"Well, I don't like it." Near wiped his eyes and nose, before actually making eye contact with Gevanni, of his own free will, without being prompted to. He never made eye contact if he could help it; this was a date for the books. Suddenly, without any prior warning, Near stretched up, pressed his lips briefly against Gevanni's, and then buried his face in the man's chest. Gevanni hugged Near tightly to him, smiling like he'd just won the lottery. In a way, he had. He'd gotten Near to actually talk about his feelings, express said feelings, and act upon them. Then, as an added bonus, his feelings were reciprocated more than he had thought. "Sorry." The boy's voice was muffled, and Gevanni laughed softly.

"Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to apologize for." Near again wouldn't meet his eyes, his cheeks emanating heat.

"You're not mad..." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No, why would I be?"

"I... don't even know. I don't," Near admitted, looking slightly frightened by the thought. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I did that."

"But... it wasn't bad, was it?" Near's face blushed even more.

"...nnnmmph." He had pressed his face against Gevanni's chest, muffling his answer.

"Near, nnnmmph isn't a word." Near glanced up at him, actually smiling for once. "What were you trying to say?" Near looked away again, clearly having great difficulty with the words.

"It-it wasn't bad... I-I-I..." He buried his face in his hands. "Kind of liked it." He cringed away from Gevanni, as if he feared that the man would hurt him in some way.

"Near, what's wrong? That's not bad! That's okay!" Near peeked at him through his fingers. "It's okay to want to be happy. It isn't a weakness; rather, it can be a strength. Just don't keep doing this to yourself. It isn't healthy to try to crush your emotions." The boy wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond, or not, so he remained silent. Gevanni understood the boy's silence, and held him close to his body. He continued to stroke Near's hair, whispering random things to him, until they both fell asleep, curled up together. This, of course, provided Mello and Matt with great entertainment, involving a camera, until the nurse came back and chased them away.

* * *

A/N: awww! yay for NearxGevanni! so everyone else probably wouldn't find it as funny, but Krista and I always say how Near is like *bad touch, bad touch* with everyone. No more *bad touch*!!! yeah. let me know what you think, and thank you to everyone who reviews.

oh, I'm kind of stuck with this one, so if anyone wants to send some ideas my way, I can't guarantee that I would use them, but I would be grateful for any inspiration. Thanks!!

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	11. Chapter 11

(I don't own anything.)

A/N: Okay, so there isn't outright lemon, but... there are some citrusy parts. so yeah. just so you know.

* * *

~Chapter Eleven~

* * *

"This shit is so boring," Mello complained as they waited to board the plane. "When are we actually going to do something?"

"Hasn't it been exciting enough for you?" Matt asked incredulously.

"Hell no. No one died." Matt rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately," he muttered as an afterthought.

"Nope, that's right. _Fortunately,_ no one died. Isn't that what you meant?" Matt snapped back at him. He was still a little touchy about the whole subject of people dying, and he clung to Mello's arm possessively.

"Whatever. But what's taking them so long?" Matt shot Mello a disapproving look.

"I told you, they're picking Near up from the hospital."

"Can't we just leave him? Ow! What the fuck was that for?" He winced, rubbing his shoulder where Matt had punched him.

"Be nice. Do you want to go find some more chocolate? I'm sure they have some in a gift shop around here..." Mello perked up at the suggestion. Sure, he had a good amount of chocolate with him (like always), but he enjoyed finding different kinds.

"Yes. Let's go."

"Okay, we'll go. BUT-" Mello rolled his eyes. He should have known there'd be a catch... "BUT, you have to promise me that you will _not_ pick on Near when we see him." Hm... maybe the chocolate wasn't worth it... but it was _chocolate._ That was serious business.

"Fine." He sighed, defeated. "But it's not going to be a permanent thing."

"Of course not," Matt mocked. "That would be far too nice. We can't have that." Mello shoved him lightly.

"Come on, that isn't fair. Let's go find some now, before they get here."

"Near? Are you okay?" Gevanni was watching the boy with concern. He was sitting in the chair, staring blankly ahead, totally motionless. "What's wrong?" Near shook his head.

"I appreciate your concern, but it is unnecessary." He didn't want to tell the man that he was... nervous. Nervous about seeing Matt and Mello without heavy drugs, but mostly nervous about flying again. At least Gevanni would be sitting next to him again, though. Roger had asked Gevanni to stay in Russia for a few more weeks to help get everything settled, but upon seeing the panicked look on Near's face, he refused. He was delighted that Near wanted to be around him, but couldn't help but worry for the boy's psychological state. Near had once again withdrawn, refusing to discuss anything even slightly personal.

"Alright," Gevanni sighed, knowing that he would get nothing out of the boy until he was ready to talk. "We have to get going now, Near." Near nodded, slowly getting to his feet and slipping on the shoes that he hated so much. He didn't like having his feet covered; they felt cramped and unnatural, and they got far too hot. They made him wear them, though. Said he would hurt his feet, or get some disease, or other rubbish of the sort. The only thing they were good for, in Near's opinion (other than throwing them at people who have knocked down your card/dice towers), was for keeping his feet warm here in Russia, where it was so much colder than what he was accustomed to. Other than that, they just annoyed him.

Gevanni checked Near out of the hospital, and they went to the airport, Near staring out the windows in silence as they sped through the streets. Gevanni was dying to know what was going on inside the boy's head, but once again respected his right to privacy.

"Hey, took you long enough," a familiar voice greeted them when they had arrived at the proper terminal. "We've been waiting forever," Mello complained.

"Well, we're here now, so we can get going," Gevanni replied, inconspicuously watching Near out of the corner of his eye. Near in turn was trying not to make eye contact with anyone, out of fear that they would recognize his weakness. They boarded their jet, and much like before, Near and Gevanni sat about as far away from Mello and Matt as was possible.

"Do you want the window seat?" Near shook his head frantically, his eyes widening. "Okay, okay. Don't worry, I'll take the window seat." Near relaxed at that, and Gevanni could tell just how apprehensive he was about the imminent flight. "Near, it'll be okay. Don't worry about the plane; pretend that we're on a train instead." Near smiled weakly at Gevanni, although he could tell that his smile looked forced. He really did appreciate the man's efforts to put him at ease, despite the fact that they did nothing to calm the rising anxiety that he was feeling.

"Please fasten your seat belts as we prepare for takeoff," the stewardess's voice chimed on the intercom. Near paled a few shades (which is quite the feat, considering how pale he is normally), and, after a moment's deliberations, put his arm around Near, helping him to buckle. Near jumped at the initial contact, but when Gevanni apologized and tried to move away from him, he held on to the man, keeping him close.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his cheeks now burning brightly. He felt so foolish...

"Near, what have I told you about apologizing?" Near refused to answer, but Gevanni thought that he saw a hint of a smile. He could have been imagining things, though. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned, when they began to taxi down the runway. Near shook his head, and Gevanni held him more tightly, gently stroking the boy's hair in a calming manner. "It's alright," he crooned. "We'll be on our way home soon; we'll be there in a few hours."

The plane stopped, then lurched into motion, picking up speed with every second. Near flinched violently and released a small whimper as he felt the wheels leave the runway, his stomach attempting to stay grounded. "It's okay, Near. I'm here, you'll be okay." Gevanni continued his quiet ministrations as Near's shoulders began to tremble slightly. He buried his face in the older man's side, breathing in the comforting scent. Gevanni was the one who understood him the best; others didn't know how his mind worked, and he certainly didn't understand his own emotions and feelings. Somehow, though, he didn't mind the fact that Gevanni knew all of his weaknesses. He knew that Gevanni would never use them against him, and he felt safe, even totally at the man's mercy. Well, he felt less safe in the air, hurtling through the sky in a pressurized hunk of metal, but Gevanni's presence helped immensely. "There. You feeling a little better now?" Near nodded, meeting Gevanni's concerned gaze for just a few seconds before lowering his eyes to his lap. The light was low; it was night time, so the lights in the plane had been mostly shut off. He suddenly felt very self-conscious sitting so close to him, especially after his little episode there. He still couldn't understand why Gevanni so actively sought out his presence (although he didn't mind at all). He wanted to somehow let Gevanni know that he really did like him, but as everyone knows, these things don't come easily to him. He sat there, clutching Gevanni's arm for five minutes or so, before unbuckling and crawling onto a very startled Gevanni's lap. "Near? What-"

"Shh," Near whispered, his heart racing at his newfound nerve. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and before he could talk himself out of it, he reached up and kissed Gevanni. Every instinct he had was screaming at him to pull away from the contact, but he forced himself to remain still until those feelings died down. Sensing him relax slightly, Gevanni put his arms around his small back, pulling him close against his body as he deepened the kiss. Near had no idea what was going on. Well, he had kind of figured out the fact that he was kissing Gevanni, but he wasn't sure what had gotten into him, or what he was doing as he straddled the man's lap.

"N-Near?" Gevanni stuttered, pulling away from the kiss to breathe. "W-what are you doing?" Near stared at him with sad eyes.

"Is it bad?" he asked sadly, his voice small.

"No, just surprising," Gevanni hurriedly assured him. "Are you okay?" Near glared at him.

"Of course I'm okay. I know exactly what I'm doing." Gevanni stifled a chuckle; clearly, Near did not know what he was doing, and that statement only proved that point further. Whether he knew what he was doing or not, though, he knew that he was enjoying it, and he hesitantly initiated another kiss. Pretty soon, Gevanni was the one in charge, kissing Near passionately. Making up for lost time, as he saw it. But.... oh no. No, he couldn't... Not now! He was enjoying the attention that Near was giving him, and certain parts of his body had begun to react in embarrassing ways. He shifted his position, hoping that Near wouldn't notice, but he should have known better than to try and slip anything past the boy. Near glanced at him uncertainly, his eyes huge.

"Um," he whispered, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He leaned close to Gevanni's ear. "I-I l-l-love you," he stammered, his cheeks burning at what he was about to do. He might not be able to verbally express his love for the man, but he could try to physically. To Gevanni's dismay, he slowly got to his feet. His dismay didn't last long, though, as he tried to figure out exactly what Near was doing, kneeling on the floor of the plane like that. And then he reached for- wait.

"Near, what are you doing?" he whispered urgently as the boy fumbled with the waistband of Gevanni's pants. Near just stared at him, looking at him as if to ask exactly how stupid he was. Gevanni was beginning to panic. "Near, you don't have to do anything, you-ngh-!" He was cut off mid-sentence when Near's small hand came in contact with his erection. He could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment; he felt bad being sexually aroused by the boy, especially after what he had been through, but he couldn't stop his body from reacting when Near undid first the button and then the zipper of the pants, slipping Gevanni's underwear down slightly, leaving him exposed. Once again, Gevanni tried to protest as Near continued to touch him. "Near, don't- you don't have to do anything, you-" Near silenced him with a sharp glare.

"You don't want me." It wasn't a question, just a blunt statement. Gevanni shook his head frantically, swallowing.

"No, that's not it at all, I just-"

"Then why do you not want me to?" Gevanni sighed, trying to form a coherent thought, but Near was making that increasingly difficult.

"That's not it, but I don't want you to do anything that you're not okay with- ohh!" His back arched involuntarily as Near, without warning, took his erection into his mouth. The only thing he could do was make small, pathetic noises as he gripped the armrests tightly.

Near was pleased with the reaction he had gotten from the man. He wasn't sure that he enjoyed the act, but it wasn't particularly unpleasant, either. Just... different. And sort of awkward. He fought the urge to gag a few times, swallowing around the man and making him moan quietly with pleasure. Near felt fingers become tangled in his hair as Gevanni fought the instincts to thrust upwards into the wonderful heat of Near's mouth. This was so wrong on so many levels, but he was unable to even think clearly, let alone speak or act. He was aware of one thing, though, and he attempted to warn Near. "N-Near! I-I-I-Oh!" Although Near knew what he was trying to tell him, he continued, until with a couple of shallow, instinctive thrusts, Gevanni came with a quiet whimper. Near attempted to swallow everything, but gagged a little, and Gevanni (although still in a daze of euphoria) pulled him up off of his knees. "Near, I'm sorry- are you okay? I-I... oh, God..." He wasn't sure where he was going with his sentence, but he did know that he felt absolutely horrible about the whole thing. "I shouldn't have let you-" Near looked up at him, his eyes hurt.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispered as his eyes teared up. "It was bad, I'm sorry..." Gevanni could barely believe what he was hearing. Not only was Near doubting his abilities, he was sorely mistaken.

"No, Near. That's not what I meant at all," he whispered hurriedly, fixing his pants before pulling Near close to his body. "No. That was..." He struggled for words.

"It was okay?" He was struck by the concern and uncertainty of the boy. Even now, his face flushed and his hair tousled, his appearance making it rather obvious what he had been doing, he still exuded innocence. Gevanni nodded heartily.

"God, yes. It was more than okay.... but are you alright? I'm really sorry..." Near looked at him in confusion.

"Why are you sorry?" he whispered.

"Because... I feel like I took advantage of you..."

"But you had no say in the matter," Near pointed out. Gevanni hadn't thought of it that way.

"But I could have stopped you... I probably should have." Near glared.

"Do not be unreasonable," he ordered sternly. "It is not like you forced me to do anything." He could feel his cheeks burning with shame. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to do something like that; now Gevanni would think he was dirty, and not want anything to do with him. Gevanni sighed heavily, yawning as he hugged Near close.

"Shit, Near." Yes, here it came now. He would tell Near that he was disgusting for having done something like that... "I love you so much." Near blinked. That was not what he had been expecting. Gevanni had seemed displeased that he had done such a thing, but he was saying that he loved Near?

"You... you do not find me repulsive?" Near asked, his voice betraying no emotion. Gevanni looked at him, startled.

"What-why would I find you repulsive?" Near blushed again, closing his eyes in embarrassment.

"Because of what I did... it's dirty," he whispered, burying his face in the man's chest.

"No, Near. You are... wonderful. Do you hear me? You're amazing." Somehow, Near severely doubted that he was either of those two things, but the words, coming from Gevanni, made him feel... actually quite happy. "Did... did you want me to do... um... anything?" Gevanni asked awkwardly. Near was mortified. He hadn't even though about that. He shook his head emphatically.

"No, please... don't touch me," he whispered. He was immediately horrified, when he realized how his words had sounded. "I mean- not- just not now-" Gevanni lay a finger on the boy's trembling lips.

"Hush, Near. It's okay. I know what you meant. Really, it's okay." Near blinked away the tears that had begun to well in his eyes inexplicably, failing to suppress a yawn. Gevanni smiled kindly at him, smoothing his hair. "Listen, love." The affectionate term made his heart race. "We still have quite a few hours left. Why don't you get some sleep? You need to rest..." Near wanted to protest, but knew that he was right, so he simply nodded, cautiously laying his head against Gevanni's warm chest. Although initially apprehensive about trying to sleep in such a close proximity to another person, he quickly became used to the sound of the man's heartbeat, the steady rhythm soothing and relaxing. He slipped into sleep quickly, Gevanni still stroking his hair as he watched the boy's serene face. He hadn't been prepared for Near to try anything like that... like he had told Near, it definitely hadn't been bad. He just felt guilty. Near was, obviously, recovering from his ordeal. He felt like he shouldn't have allowed Near to follow through with his actions, like he was taking advantage of the boy's unstable emotional state. As he studied Near's peaceful expression, though, which now had the faintest shadow of a smile upon the lips, he felt a little better. Near looked happy, which wasn't something that he saw every day. He sighed as he leaned his head against the snow-colored one, his lips gently brushing the boy's forehead. "Oh, Near," he sighed. "What would I do without you?" He knew the answer, though. He would have nothing to focus on, no one to take care of. He would be lacking a true purpose. He needed Near.

* * *

A/N: Gaaaah I'm blushing about this chapter. I apologize if you don't like it, but thanks for reading.

*shame shame shame*

so today (2/23) is my dear beta, soundofmadness223's birthday. sooooo you should go wish her happy birthday!!!

yeah. let me know what you think, but please... be kind...

thank you!!!

~alex~


	12. Chapter 12

(A/N: I don't own anythingggg.)

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~Chapter Twelve~

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The next week at headquarters was very busy, and it seemed to Gevanni that Near was going out of his way to ensure that he would be too busy to see the older man. Although he had almost expected this to happen, he still was quite bothered by it. He didn't think that he had done anything to upset the boy, but he couldn't be sure, and the nagging fear of that made it difficult to concentrate. Matt, too, was concerned about Near. Ever since their return, Near had been much more jumpy, and seemed more afraid of human contact than before, which was saying something. He had refused to speak with a psychologist, not that Matt was surprised by that, but he had also noticed that Near had been avoiding both Matt and Gevanni like the plague, and he looked absolutely terrified whenever he saw Mello, who had been keeping his promise to be nice to the boy. Finally, after seeing Near blatantly leave the room when Gevanni walked in, Matt confided his worries to Mello.

"Mel..." he called, and when he fell silent, Mello looked at him with the tiniest bit of concern.

"What's up, Matt?"

"I'm sort of worried about Near," he admitted, watching as Gevanni stared mournfully after Near. Mello followed his gaze, but said nothing. "He's been avoiding everyone more than usual." Mello refused to admit it, but he had also noticed the boy's unusual behavior. Not that he cared or anything, but he liked Gevanni well enough, and Matt was all upset, which was not okay. There was no way in hell that he actually cared about the runt. No way.

"Yeah?" He shrugged. "What do you want me to do about it?" Matt looked troubled.

"Well, I don't know... I didn't really expect you to do anything."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"I don't know!" Matt exploded, frustrated. "I was just talking, but never mind!" Mello got the feeling that he might have said something wrong.

"Matt, chill. Don't freak out." He put his hands up when Matt opened his mouth to argue. "Jesus, Matt! Shut the fuck up and listen to me!" Wisely, Matt shut up. "Anyway... if this stupid kid's behavior is upsetting you so much, we'll do something about it. You're so damn irritating when you're all worried and moody and shit." Matt smiled. Despite the harsh words, Matt knew that Mello was actually trying to make him feel better. He really did care deeply about Matt, although, for whatever reason, he still felt the need to act like a complete and total hard ass.

Gevanni was exhausted, and he wasn't too happy about working so late.

"Whatever Roger wants, it had better be really damn important," he muttered darkly. He had just been about to call it a night, when Mello had come to tell him that Roger wanted to see him in one of the smaller meeting rooms. The only reason that he hadn't refused outright (aside from not wanting to get fired, but at this point, he didn't really care) was the fact that this particular room was almost never used, which led him to believe that whatever Roger wanted to talk to him about could be important. He rubbed his eyes as he pushed open the door, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the small, white-haired boy glaring at him. "Y-You're not Roger," he stammered stupidly.

"No, I am not. What an astute observation. Likewise, you are also not Roger." Gevanni blushed.

"I think we might have been set up," he said, feeling very awkward. "Who told you to come here?" Near's expression didn't soften a bit.

"Matt informed me that Roger wished to speak with me." Gevanni nodded.

"That's what I thought. Mello told me the same thing." They remained like that for a few moments of uncomfortable silence, until Gevanni, knowing that there was no way that Near would be the first to break the silence, cleared his throat. "Near, I've been wanting to talk to you..." Near looked away, studying the floor intensely. "Near, why have you been avoiding me?" Near twirled a lock of hair nervously.

"I do not even know what you mean," he muttered, turning back to his dice tower. Gevanni came over to the table, kneeling by the boy's chair.

"Near, you have been deliberately refusing to even look at me for the last week. I don't understand... I mean, what did I do to warrant such treatment?" Near's cheeks were burning, and his hands shook as he continued to stack his dice.

"You... have done nothing," Near said, his voice sounding uncertain.

"Then why, Near? Why don't you want anything to do with me?" He realized how pathetic he sounded, but he was so tired, and this had been bothering him immensely. Near twitched a little, his face twisting into a sort of grimace.

"That is not the case." He fell silent, and when Gevanni mustered the courage to look at him again, he saw that Near had buried his face in his hands. His small form was trembling, and Gevanni wasn't really sure what to do.

"Near?" The boy shook his head.

"No. That is not the case," he repeated. He finally looked at Gevanni, his eyes wide, and the dark circles beneath them making it clear that he hadn't been sleeping well. "I... want to be around you, but..." He trailed off, just staring at Gevanni, his expression pleading. "I don't know..." Gevanni sighed, stepping closer to him.

"Near... I can't tell you what to do or what to want. You have to figure that out for yourself." Near nodded, but he didn't look too happy about it. Suddenly, the boy yawned hugely. "You haven't been sleeping much, have you? You should probably get to bed..."

"I suppose..." Near seemed reluctant.

"Do you want me to help you?" Near nodded, and without any further ado, Gevanni picked him up and carried him out the door. He only resisted a little, leaning against Gevanni's chest after struggling for a moment. He sighed sadly, then clutched at his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Gevanni," he whispered, surprising them both. "I'm sorry. For being so messed up, and so bad at this whole thing..." He closed his eyes.

"Stephan," Gevanni said softly. "You can call me Stephan if you want. It's my first name. And Near, don't be sorry for something you can't help. I know you're confused, and I know that you're scared. I'm not mad at you or anything. I'll wait as long as you need me to," he promised. Near buried his face in his chest, inhaling deeply.

"Okay," he said in a small voice.

"Here," Gevanni said, pushing open the door. "We're at your room." He put Near on the bed, knowing that he was not planning on changing for bed. He wore pajamas all day anyway, and he changed them in the morning when necessary. Near crawled under the covers, and Gevanni couldn't help smiling at the sheer cuteness of the sight. "Good night, Near. Remember that I love you," he told him, kissing him lightly on the top of his head. Near didn't speak, but he didn't look angry. Gevanni turned to leave, but as he was opening the door, Near called him back.

"Wait," the boy commanded. "Don't leave me..." Gevanni felt his heart do strange things. Surely Near didn't want him to stay? He started to go back to Near, who'd sat up. "Close the door, please." He obeyed, walking over to sit on the side of Near's bed.

"What's wrong, love?" Near stared at him, his dark eyes wide and unreadable. Then without warning, Near leaned forward, catching a surprised Gevanni in a tight hug. Gevanni held him tightly, and he could once again feel the boy shaking. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing is the matter," Near whispered, his voice shaky. "I just... I want you to stay. When you walk away from me, it feels wrong, and I don't know what to do about that. I don't want you to go away." He hid his face in the crook of Gevanni's neck, and the man could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. He gently stroked Near's head, still holding him tightly with the other arm.

"Shh, don't worry," he murmured. "If you don't want me to leave, then I won't leave. I can stay with you. Would you like that?" After a moment's hesitation, an embarrassed Near nodded, again hiding his face. "Near, look at me," Gevanni said, and Near reluctantly met his eyes. "You don't need to be embarrassed about this. Don't be ashamed. It's perfectly okay to want to be with someone. No one likes being lonely, Near. You can't survive that way." Near clutched at the man's hands tightly, and very slowly, Gevanni pulled him closer for a kiss. Almost as soon as their lips met, Near was pulling at him, bringing him closer. They lay down together, but Gevanni paused. "Um... if I'm staying here for the night, it might be wise for me to get some more comfortable clothing."

"Ah. Yes. Please do," Near commanded, watching sadly as the man walked out the door. Dammit, why had he done that?! He'd been trying to distance himself from Gevanni, not reconnect with him! He didn't like the way he felt when Gevanni walked away from him, or whenever he thought about Gevanni being hurt or with someone else. He didn't want those feelings, so he was trying to get rid of him. And now he was going to spend the night with him? That wouldn't help things at all. There was something inside him, though, that fought with his more logical mind. It wanted-no, needed- to be with the man, and that little part of him seemed to be winning. No matter how much he told himself that this was a bad idea, that this kind of thing could only end in disaster, he still couldn't stop wanting to be with Gevanni. He sighed, curling into the fetal position. Why did things have to be so damn difficult?

"Hey, Near. Sorry that took so long." Near silently cursed the part of him that made his heart jump at the sound of that voice, but he turned to smile at Gevanni. The man was changing into his pajamas, and Near blushed deeply at the sight of the man without his shirt. Wait, why wasn't he putting on a shirt? Did he sleep shirtless?! Apparently he did, because he stood there awkwardly. "Um... where did you want me to sleep?" Wasn't it obvious?

"You may sleep here," Near told him, gesturing to the spot beside him. Gevanni grinned and readily joined Near. Near's heart was racing at the closeness. "Gev-Stephan?" He corrected himself, his pale cheeks reddening.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"I-I... ugh." He gave up trying to talk, and just kissed the man, this time less forcefully and desperately than the last one. "I love you," he whispered, terribly embarrassed. Gevanni pulled him close, hugging him as if his life depended on it.

"I love you too." Near snuggled next to the warmth beside him, resting his head on Gevanni's chest. "Good night, Near," Gevanni whispered, stroking his hair as he drifted off to sleep, perfectly content in his arms. "Sleep well."

* * *

A/N: Hey. hope you liked this... the site wouldn't let me upload it at first, and I had a little bit of a freak out, but now it's okay. I know Near seems a little bit OOC, but that was the best I could do. So Krista and I went out last night and sat in Barnes and Noble, and we went back to the manga section, picked up copies (one for each of us) and sat there, flipping through them, finding pictures of Near, Matt and Mello, and plotting to murder Takada. T_T but it was really sweet, because near the end, when they're catching Light, Near says that he at least owes it to Mello, and he says a few other things like that. Then, on one of the last pages, there's this really really cute picture of Near laying on the ground, playing with his robots, and he's eating a chocolate bar. it's absolutely adorable. Krista likes Near much better now. :D

yeeaaaahhhh... my next chapter... *blush blush blush* might have... eh... lemon *shame shame shame*

okay, there. I'm done blushing. actually not really, b/c I'm working on it right now, but yeah. so tell me how you like this chapter!!!

sorry it took me a while to update. I was avoiding working on this one, because I am a horrible person.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	13. Chapter 13

(I own nothing)

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~Chapter Thirteen~

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**A/N: LEMON.** just warning you. *blush blush blush*

* * *

Gevanni awoke, more comfortable than he had been in as long as he could remember. He rolled over, freezing as he felt the warmth of another body beside him. He remembered what had happened the night before, and he smiled widely as he reached out, careful not to disturb Near, and brushed the sleeping boy's hair out of his face. He looked so cute... so peaceful and unguarded in his sleep. If only he could be so carefree and open while awake. He sighed, and Near stirred for a moment, before opening his eyes. Gevanni's heart leapt at the bright smile that spread across Near's face when he saw Gevanni.

"Good morning, Near," he said softly, kissing his chest. "Did you sleep well?"

Near nodded, color spreading across his face. "Yes, thank you... And you?"

"How could I not, with you beside me?" Near blushed again, but smiled happily at Gevanni, reaching to put his arms around the man's neck. Gevanni was, to say the least, thrilled, leaning in to kiss Near softly. Near was having none of that, though, and pulled Gevanni closer to him and clung to him, kissing him back fiercely. "N-Near? Are you okay? What-"

"Why are you questioning this?" Near asked sadly. "Do you not want this?"

"Near, that's not it at all, I just wanted to make sure that you're okay; this is kind of a surprise."

"Then shut up," Near demanded, shocking Gevanni into compliance. He took the man's lapse of silence as an opportunity to attack him again. This time, Gevanni took his advice and didn't resist the boy's advances.

"God, Near," he murmured, sliding a hand up the boy's shirt, exploring the soft skin of his chest. Near shivered, making a small noise of pleasure. "Here," Gevanni muttered, slipping the boy's shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor. That was much better. Once again, however, he paused.

"What is the problem?" Near snapped in annoyance. "I am doing quite well; I am responding positively to this, and yet you are still uncertain."

Gevanni laughed at the boy's scathing glare. "Sorry, Near. Just... tell me if there's something you don't like."

The look that Near gave him spurred him to resume his previous actions. He pressed his lips to Near's throat, letting his tongue run across the pale flesh and causing goosebumps to rise all across the boy's body. From there, he moved his attention down to the collarbone and shoulder, randomly allowing his teeth to brush the skin. He then turned to the boy's stomach, where he knew he was ticklish, making him squirm a bit and moan quietly. He knew better than to stop again and ask Near if he was okay, but he was so afraid of hurting the boy... He knew that Near would not be pleased if he voiced that fear. "Near," he whispered against his skin. "I love you so much..." He moved back to Near's face, looking directly into his eyes. "I love you." He kissed him, and Near was, somehow, even more desperate than before. "Near? What do you want me to do?" Near's breathing was coming in gasps, his cheeks flushed.

"Everything," he panted, closing his eyes. "Everything."

Gevanni swallowed nervously. "Y-you mean...?"

"Yes! What part of 'everything' is so difficult to understand?"

"Um... do you have anything to use? You know, for...?" Near was staring at him blankly, so he took that as a no. "Hang on. I'll be right back." He stood, resolving to buy a pair of pajama pants that fit more loosely than this pair. There would have to be something in the bathroom down the hall that they could use, or if all else failed, he could improvise. When he opened the door, however, he almost tripped over a small box. Puzzled, he picked it up, discovering a note.

'Gevanni- You can thank us later. You're welcome. Use these well. Yeah, we know we're awesome. ~MxM.' Even without the initials, he would have known that it was from Matt and Mello. He brought the box inside, opening it to find, as expected, all manner of things sex-related (there were some things that he couldn't even imagine when they would be useful, although for the most part, it was just the essentials).

"What's that?" Near asked, sitting up curiously. Gevanni had to calm himself down before he was overcome by the sheer cuteness.

"Heh..." Gevanni blushed. "Apparently our good friends Mello and Matt approve of our relationship," he told Near, holding up a condom and a bottle of lube. Near's eyes widened almost comically.

"Oh," he responded, his voice small, and Gevanni crawled back under the covers.

"Near, are you sure about this?" Near nodded, but he looked a bit more apprehensive. Gevanni began kissing him again, finally straying a hand down to touch Near. As soon as the man's fingers touched him, even through the fabric, he gasped. "Shh, it's okay," Gevanni crooned. "Is it okay to... um, prepare you?" he stammered, his cheeks burning with heat.

Near nodded, clenching his eyes tightly shut. He gently helped Near shed his pajama pants, and then his rubber ducky print boxers. Coating his fingers with an ample amount of the lube (strawberry flavored- thank you, Matt) and carefully, slowly, slid a finger into Near. "Shh," he whispered as Near gasped in surprise and pain. "Try to relax," he instructed, kissing the side of Near's neck as he began to move his finger. "It will hurt less that way." He hoped that was the case, anyway. He hadn't actually done this before; everything he knew about this topic, he had learned from reading Yaoi. Gevanni continued to move slowly and rhythmically, until he was able to add another finger. Near whimpered quietly, and despite his effort to hide it, Gevanni knew that he was in pain. "I'm sorry, love, " he whispered, kissing him tenderly to ease some of the pain- or distract him from it, at any rate.

"I-it hurts," Near whispered, and Gevanni felt a twinge of guilt.

"I know... I'm so sorry. Do- do you want me to stop?" As much as he wanted this, he would stop if that was what Near wanted.

"N-No," The boy managed, shaking his head. Gevanni continued his gentle pace from before, doing his best to stretch him as much as possible with the least amount of pain. Suddenly, Near gasped, his eyes flying open, and Gevanni grinned.

"Was that better?" he asked, kissing Near's sweaty forehead. Near nodded frantically, closing his eyes tightly as Gevanni found that spot again. While he was distracted, Gevanni took the opportunity to add one more finger. Despite the pleasurable feelings, Near involuntarily cried out softly in pain, clinging tightly to Gevanni's chest. Gevanni kept kissing him, brushing away the few tears that had managed to fall. "I'm sorry, Near. It's okay, love. It will get better..." He whispered quiet reassurances the entire time, until Near relaxed his grip on Gevanni's shoulders. "Are you okay?" he asked, cupping Near's cheek with one hand. Near didn't open his eyes, but nodded shakily. "Near, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to. I will stop if you tell me to." This time, Near did open his eyes, glaring angrily at Gevanni.

"Are you serious? What did I say before?"

"Well, I know, but I just-"

"Are you afraid of this?"

Gevanni stared open-mouthed. "W-well I'm a little concerned... I've never done this."

"And you think I have? Stop making excuses." Gevanni was surprised at Near's urgency.

"So you want me to...?"

"Yes. I don't know how much clearer I can make it." Smiling, Near kissed him, reaching for the lube and removing his fingers. Near squirmed; it felt strange. After losing his pants, Gevanni put on the condom and coated himself with more lube than was probably necessary (he didn't want to hurt him more than was necessary), and, kissing Near gently, slowly pushed in.

"Oh..." Near whimpered, and Gevanni couldn't tell if it was a sound of pain or pleasure. Probably a bit of both, judging by the pained look on Near's face and the strength with which he was holding onto Gevanni.

"Near... try to relax... it will hurt less," Gevanni panted, forcing himself to stay still until Near was fully adjusted. Near's eyes were clenched shut, breathing heavily, his skin flushed. He was in pain, but it wasn't terrible, as there was an odd feeling of pleasure mixed in with the painful sensations. Nothing that he had experienced had been like this. When he had been captured... things similar to this had happened, but Gevanni was being so gentle and kind to him, not wanting to hurt him, where that man had made his main goal to cause Near as much pain as possible. This just furthered his love for Gevanni- yes, it was love. He didn't like to admit it, but the last week, without Gevanni, had been hell. This feeling of closeness... this was what he had been trying to express. This was what he thought he couldn't express, and he only hoped that Gevanni felt the same. He opened his eyes, and he felt immensely happy when he saw Gevanni watching him, concern etched into his face. He smiled, leaning up to kiss him, trying to convey his love through the kiss. "S-So are you okay?" Gevanni asked, stuttering.

"Yes..." Near responded, suddenly uncertain. All uncertainty dissipated, though, as soon as Gevanni began moving. He pushed himself further in, then pulled out, frightened that he had harmed Near's fragile body. The boy seemed to be okay, though, and the sight of him laying there panting, his cheeks bright red and his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, encouraged him to repeat the action. Near was feeling.... indescribable things. Every time Gevanni moved, he hit that one spot just inside him, taking his breath away. Fueled by Near's sounds of pleasure, Gevanni picked up his pace a bit, making Near cry out slightly louder than before. He smiled, pausing to kiss Near. Near threw himself whole-heartedly into the kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around Gevanni's neck.

"I love you," he whispered as he held on to the man. "Don't leave me, please."

"I could never leave you," Gevanni whispered back. "I love you far too much for that." He resumed the pace, and he could tell that Near was close. This was good, because he was pretty sure that he couldn't last too terribly much longer. He held Near close, and sure enough, the boy came a few moments later. He let out a soft, high-pitched keen, and that, combined with the feeling of his muscles tightening around him and the look on his face, pushed Gevanni over the edge as well. They lay there in the aftermath, shaking and panting, Gevanni holding Near's small body close. "Hang on," he muttered, stumbling out of bed to take care of the condom. He put his pants back on, and went down to the bathroom to get a wet towel to help Near clean up. He passed Mello and Matt on the way back, much to his chagrin.

"Hey there, Gevanni buddy!" Matt called cheerfully. He mumbled a hello.

"Where would you be going? Isn't your room the other way?" Mello asked, smily wickedly. Gevanni could feel his cheeks burning,

"I- um..."

"Don't worry about it. We're just messing with you," Matt told him, laughing at the man's discomfort.

"Yeah... um, thanks," he mumbled, pushing past them. "I'll see you later." He could hear them laughing gleefully the rest of the way back. "Sorry that took me so long," he told Near apologetically as he closed the door behind him. "I... ran into Matt and Mello." Near groaned, hiding his head under the covers.

"They will make fun of me," he lamented. "Well, Mello will." Gevanni knew it was probably true.

"Here, let's get you cleaned up." He sat on the bed, using the still warm towel to wipe Near's skin clean. Near closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Gevanni washing his stomach and chest. When he was as clean as he was going to get, Gevanni retrieved the boy's pants and handed to him, then crawling back into bed as Near put them on.

"What are we doing?" Near asked, slightly nervous at this change in routine. "We have to go back to work." Gevanni rolled over, "accidentally" rolling on top of the boy, who squeaked in protest.

"Near, when was the last time you took a day off of work?" Near was silent. "And when was the last time that I took a day off of work, eh?"

"We... haven't," Near finally admitted, able to guess where this was going.

"And how many times have Mello and Matt taken off of work, doing God knows what?"

"Many times," he said, smiling at Gevanni.

"Exactly, Somehow, I don't think anyone's going to mind us missing one day of work." He didn't say it, but he knew that everyone would be pleased that someone had finally gotten through to Near, had been allowed close to him. Even Roger had picked up on the boy's unhealthy behavior, and was worried about his mental health. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that the last Wammy's orphan whose distress he had noticed had been A, and that had not turned out well. Even so, if someone as clueless as Roger knew that Near was upset, then _everyone_ knew Near was upset. Watching Near nestle closer against his body, Gevanni had to smile. Although it wouldn't normally be a big deal, this situation wasn't normal; Near wasn't normal. Near was smiling. _Smiling._ Gevanni kissed him on the forehead. "Why don't you take a nap or something?" He had noticed how their previous "activities" had worn Near out greatly.

"Shouldn't we call and tell them that we won't be there?"

"Somehow, I think Mello and Matt will have taken care of it."

* * *

Gevanni was right in his assumptions. Roger came into the room where Mello was lounging, looking for Gevanni.

"Mello, do you know where Gevanni is?" he asked, not liking the smirk on the blond's face.

"He's busy."

"Doing what?"

"Fucking Near."

"...................oh." Mello laughed as the old man left the room. Clearly, he had no desire to hear about the sex lives of any of them, so naturally, Mello made it his job to torment the man with stories, sometimes including very explicit details.

"Hey, Mel. What did you do to Roger? He looked like he'd seen a ghost," Matt commented, walking in to join Mello.

"I didn't do anything to him."

"Yeah. Right. What did you say to him then?"

"Oh, I just told him where Gevanni was."

Matt nodded in understanding. "Ah. So I see that our plan worked..."

Mello laughed. "It worked too fucking easily! Where's the fun in that?"

"The fun, Mello, is that Near and Gevanni are _finally_ together, and finally happy." He looked at Mello reproachfully.

"Oh, yeah. That." He shrugged, and Matt rolled his eyes. Some things would never change, and Mello's blatant refusal to show anything other than animosity towards Near was one of those things. As he took his seat next to Mello, though, he could have sworn that he saw him smiling.

* * *

A/N: gaaahhhh *blush* here it is. sorry it took so long to post. you can take it up with my beta. No, just kidding. she's a great beta.

Oh man, I'm blushing right now, as I'm typing. I had a hell of a time writing this chapter. I pretty much hyperventilated when I sent it to krista... *shame*

but yeah, I hope you didn't hate it too terribly much. I don't really like writing lemons. It makes me very very very very uncomfortable. oh well.

Thanks for reading!!! tell me what you think! :D I really appreciate all of your reviews. please, feel free to give me any suggestions you want. I like suggestions.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	14. Chapter 14

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Fourteen~

* * *

They ended up taking the next day off of work as well (mainly because Near couldn't actually move- they had put their first day off to very good use), and everything had been going pretty uneventfully. Late that afternoon, as Near and Gevanni had just settled down on the floor to build a lego mansion, a knock sounded at the door. Near glared toward the intrusion, resenting anything and anyone that dared take away from his time with Gevanni. His angered look turned to one of pure horror as Gevanni opened the door, admitting an excited Matt and a less-than-thrilled Mello.

"Hey, guys," Gevanni greeted them, wondering what the heck they were doing there.

"Hey, how's it going?" Matt asked, and Gevanni shrugged, unable to stop the blush that had spread across his cheeks.

"Uh, what's with the bags?" Gevanni gestured to the two large duffle bags that Matt carried.

"We are going to have fun," Matt declared, walking past Gevanni and into the room. "Isn't that right, Mello?" The blond grunted in response, rolling his eyes as he too came in. "Alright. In this bag, I have all the good games I could find, and my consoles. In this one, I have all kinds of goodies. I think I got everything..." He speculated, rummaging around in the bag. Mello tensed up.

"You... you did remember the chocolate, right?!" For Matt's sake, he'd better have remembered it...

"I dunno, Mello," Matt said, sounding almost smug as he searched through the snacks. "I don't see it."

"Are you retarded?! I told you to make sure you remembered it! If I'm stuck here with him- wait, where is Near?" It was true, the smaller boy had seemingly disappeared. Suddenly, there came a thud and a muffled whimper from underneath the bed, and a cardboard box was shoved out from underneath it, followed by a slightly dusty-looking Near. He cowered under their combined gazes, until Gevanni knelt down next to him.

"Near, what are you doing?" He asked with concern as he brushed dust from the boy's hair, missing the smirk that Matt aimed at Mello. Mello was still too pissed about Matt not bringing the chocolate, and contemplating leaving to find some, to to even take much notice. Near muttered something. "What did you say?" Near began twirling his hair with his two fingers as he blushed.

"I-I... am sorry- it's n-not a better kind, just-" He broke off, unable to finish the sentence, as he shoved the box toward a very surprised Mello. He opened it to find... Hershey's bars. He was at a loss for words, and even Matt and Gevanni looked surprised. Near had turned his back to Mello, fumbling with the legos again, his hands shaking. This time, Mello noticed his trembling hands, and couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside that weird, little head of his.

"Um..." For once, Mello was having a hard time choosing his words. "Eh... thanks, Near," He muttered, allowing his pride to take a huge hit. _It's for Matt,_ he told himself resolutely. _I'm only being nice to that moron to make Matt happy._ Near froze, not moving for almost ten seconds before tentatively turning to face Mello. A hint of fear was still evident in his eyes as he smiled shakily, wincing slightly as if afraid Mello might hit him, and Mello couldn't help but smile back just a little. He was not used to seeing Near smile at all, for any reason, and the expression made the boy seem a little more human in his eyes. The tension in the room had dissipated, so Matt hooked up the PS3, and they played random games for a few hours. Matt and Mello constantly shoved each other, while Near sat curled up in Gevanni's lap. Matt broke out the snacks a while later (the chocolate actually _was_ in the bag; he had just been messing with Mello), and he then set up the Wii. He pulled a game out of the bag, quickly hiding it behind his back.

"Okay, Near. You ready for this?" Near didn't respond, but the curiosity was evident on his face. "Alright- happy early birthday!" He handed Near the case, and the boy's eyes widened in excitement, a perfect semi-circle of a smile forming on his face. It was everything Gevanni could do to not jump all over him, such was the cuteness.

"For me?" Near squeaked, and Matt nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and hugging the case to his chest. He flopped down on the floor to put it in the console. Within a few moments, he was completely engrossed in the new Endless Ocean game. Gevanni enjoyed just watching, alternating between the fish on the screen and Near's peaceful expression. Mello, however, was less than impressed with the whole thing.

"Is that all you do in that fucking game?" he asked in disbelief, watching as Near's character fed a fish. Matt glanced up from his PSP.

"What's the matter, Mels?" disgust was written all over Mello's face.

"He's swimming. And feeding fish. Is that IT?!"

"I am also photographing and documenting any species of life forms encountered, in order to fill in an encyclopedia," Near added, not once looking away from the screen. Mello seemingly couldn't get over the fact that the whole game revolved around marine life.

"But... fish? What about sharks? Sharks are fish. Do you get to fight sharks or anything?"

"No. You can feed the sharks, but that is all."

"What the fuck kind of game is this?! If you tried to get anywhere near a shark, that thing would rip your fucking arm off!" Mello shouted.

"Mels, chill. It's rated E, okay?" Matt attempted to calm him, while Near corrected his error.

"Actually, Mello, sharks are generally peaceful creatures, and instances of humans being attacked are extremely rare. It is estimated that a person's chance of getting attacked by a shark is 1 in 11.5 million, and a person's chance of getting killed by a shark is 1 in 264.1 million. Also, out of more than 360 shark species, only four have been involved in a significant number of fatal, unprovoked attacks on humans." Mello rolled his eyes, deciding that it was better to ignore the boy than get angry and yell- Matt would be extremely unhappy if he had done the latter. He took a rather large bite of chocolate.

"Fucking fish," he muttered, leaning heavily against Matt and laying his head on his shoulder to get his attention.

"Mello, knock it off," Matt said in irritation. "You just messed me up. Now I'll have to start over." Mello smirked.

"Good. But before you do, pay attention to me," he demanded, draping himself across Matt's lap. Matt seemed to suddenly understand what Mello was getting at, because he quickly switched his PSP off (after saving, of course) and set it aside. Mello climbed on top of Matt, pushing him back onto the floor. Near watched them uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye. Gevanni, noticing Near's discomfort, cleared his throat loudly.

"Hey, you guys?" He called warningly. "Can you guys not do anything right there? Or anywhere in Near's room, for that matter?"

" What, so you can?" Mello shot back. "Cockblocker," he muttered darkly. "And after everything we did to ensure that you got laid." He shook his head, enjoying the effect that his words had on the pair. Gevanni was stuttering, opening and closing his mouth like one of those damn fish on Near's game, while Near had turned bright red, and had seemingly forgotten about his character, who was floating motionlessly in the water on the screen. He looked to be curling in on himself, trying to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. Mello wouldn't be surprised if the punk crawled back under the bed. "But don't worry," he said, pausing to attack Matt's lips with his own. "We aren't doing anything exciting," he assured them, biting down sharply on Matt's lower lip and causing him to yelp sharply with pain and surprise. Near was getting extremely uncomfortable, and found that he could no longer focus on his game. He returned to the boat, saved his game, and shut off the console. A scarlet-faced Gevanni helped him put all of the games and consoles back in the bag, as they had apparently finished with the video games for the night. Noticing how Near was sitting, nervously twirling his hair, as Gevanni was intently studying his finger nails, Mello spoke again. "Well, Matty, I do believe it's about time for us to leave now, don't you think? We wouldn't want to _impose_..." Matt picked up on Mello's tone, and grinned evilly.

" Why, I think you're right, Mels. I'm sure these two have other _plans_..." Even Near couldn't miss the poorly-concealed sexual innuendos, and only muttered a quick goodbye as the two left. The ensuing silence in the room was almost unbearable. Gevanni was beginning to feel very self-conscious, until Near spoke, his voice uncertain.

"Will you- are you- er, going to-to stay?"

"Would you like me to?" Gevanni asked, his pulse quickening in excitement as Near nodded. Gevanni walked over and put his arms around the boy, who leaned into the embrace automatically. "So, you about ready for bed?" He asked the clearly exhausted Near, who didn't answer. "Near? W-" He was cut off as Near's lips suddenly found his. He ran a hand through the silky white hair, holding Near's head closer to deepen the kiss. "Oh... Near," he murmured happily, but Near pulled away, looking into his eyes.

"Nate," he told Gevanni, who nodded in understanding.

"I love you," he whispered. "Good night, Nate." Near stretched, unable to hold in a yawn.

"Good night, Stephen."

* * *

A/N: okay, so I think Gevanni is still going to call him Near, because it feels weird to refer to him as Nate. Just a thought. I thought this was a cute way to end the chapter, though.

but yeah, I got the new endless ocean game (in case you couldn't tell), and it's amazing. just thought I'd let you know. granted, I'm a total nerd with no life, but still. you get to go all over the place!!! like there's a river in south america, with all kinds of creepy stuff, and there's a place off the coast of egypt (I spent like three hours just swimming around there. it might have had something to do with the fact that I'm more than a little obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh). In the first endless ocean game, you could only go to one spot off the coast of new zealand. oh, and you can befriend dolphins, and they become your diving partners, and the first one, I named Near (because dolphins are smart!), and then there's this porpoise, and he's really cute and is all black and white and grey, and his lips are black. he looks kind of scary (in a cute way, of course) when he smiles, though, so I named him Beyond. heh. alright, enough about the game. OOOH! but I got Pokemon: Soul Silver, and it's also awesome! I got Chikorita. currently, he's a Bayleef. his name is Claudio (as in Sanchez, from Coheed and Cambria).

matt sort of reminds me of my boyfriend in this chapter. it's like this, more or less: me- "andrew, put down the psp. no, seriously. pay attention to meeee!!!" *sprawls out on lap.* andrew (annoyed)- "what are you doing? I need to beat this song." (he likes rhythm games a lot.) *pushes off lap and goes back to game* oh well. :D

the shark facts are true. just don't fuck with great white sharks, tiger sharks, bull sharks, and oceanic whitetip sharks. they're the ones that are most frequently involved in fatal, unprovoked attacks on humans, although the oceanic whitetip doesn't generally live very close to shore; they aren't involved in that many attacks. Most of the attacks were during world war I and II, when ships would sink in the open ocean where the sharks live. you can't blame them for showing up and getting an easy meal, especially if there's blood in the water. I mean honestly, they're sharks. that's what they do. they can smell blood in the water from miles away (which means that I'd better not go in the ocean. it seems like I've always got scratches, etc. that are bleeding).

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

thank you so much for reading!!! let me know what you think!!! :D

~alex~


	15. Chapter 15

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Fifteen~

* * *

Roger wasn't exactly sure how he felt about Near and Gevanni's newfound relationship. There wasn't much he could do about it either way, and it had been a long time coming (everyone knew it), but he hoped that it didn't interfere with their work performances. Which is exactly what he was planning on discussing with the man today.

"Gevanni, may I have a word with you? It will only be a moment." Gevanni rose from where he had been typing out a report, joining Roger.

"Yes?" He was a little apprehensive. He'd been expecting Roger to approach him, and it wasn't as if workplace romances were forbidden, but when it was Near- the second most important person in the entire place- he worried that things might be a little bit more complicated. Roger paused for a moment, sitting down before speaking.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but do you really think that it's a good idea to be involved with Near?"

Gevanni blushed, slightly taken aback by the bluntness of the question. "Er- with all due respect, what do you mean by that?"

Roger shifted uncomfortably. "Only that it might not be good for either of you in the long run. I can't see this lasting very long, I'm sorry to say, and Near's psychological well-being is crucial. Do you see what I mean?"

Gevanni couldn't speak for a moment. "Well... I see what you're trying to say, but I must be painfully honest with you- that's total bullshit." He was pleased to see the shock on the older man's face, but didn't stop long enough to allow him to respond. "I'm sorry, but do you honestly think that Near having a relationship could damage him any more than he already is? Tell me something, Roger. When was the last time you saw Near smile? Seriously? That's right. He doesn't smile, ever. And really, why should he? What does he have to smile about? You don't even care about him for his own sake, as long as he functions well enough to carry out the work you expect of him. All that matters is how useful he is to you. He isn't the emotionless drone to do your work. Is that really that hard to understand?" He was out of breath from his outburst. Roger stared at him, still too shocked to speak.

"Well, that is... one way of looking at it, but don't you think you might be blowing this whole thing out of proportion?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Near hasn't shown any signs of duress that might signal any adverse effects on him, in regards to his position in this operation until now. I fear that you may have put far too much thought into him and his thoughts. Again, he has seemed content up until now." It was all Gevanni could do to stop from punching the older man.

"You... know nothing. What did you do about A? Was he showing any visible signs of duress? I'm willing to bet not, because he'd been trained that to show emotions was to show weakness. He'd been trained that weakness, failure, was worse than death. You drill it into these children's heads that to be human is to be a failure. Did anyone even think to worry about Beyond after A's death? Of course not! Why would you need to worry about him? I mean, it was only his best friend who had killed himself. Of course he was fine. You can't blame Beyond for what he did. If you're going to blame anyone, blame yourself, for making him like that. Neither of those two stood a chance. I mean honestly, you just _can't_ tell children that they are 'Plan A' and 'Backup.' Talk about fucking with their psychological health. It's a wonder that any of them escaped from that house with any semblance of sanity!" By this point, he was shouting. He lowered his voice before continuing, still not letting Roger get a word in edgewise. He was on a roll. "And as for Near himself- don't you _dare_ say that he was okay up until now. If you even cared at all, you would know just how damaged he is. How can you not know what you're doing to 'your' children? They might be geniuses, but that doesn't make them any less human. Don't even suggest that I'm overthinking Near's emotions; you aren't the one who sees him flinch at any human contact, whether good or bad. You aren't the one trying to comfort him when he's upset because he doesn't understand how his own mind works. You aren't the one who has to see him cry because he's lonely, but too afraid to reach out to anyone. I'm pretty sure you've already done enough damage, so just stay out of things that don't concern you. Stay out of his personal life, and stop trying to destroy him." Without even giving Roger a chance to speak, he left the room, practically shoving Matsuda, who'd been standing in the door for almost five minutes, out of the way. He'd never seen Gevanni so angry, and he thought it best not to cross him. Roger sighed heavily upon noticing the other man.

"Dammit, Matsuda. What do you want now?" Matsuda ignored the harsh words; by this point, he'd gotten used to that kind of treatment from most of the people he worked with. Being treated like a moron was a small price to pay to be able to help keep most of his coworkers in higher spirits.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but L wanted me to give you these files." He handed the papers to Roger, then turned to leave.

"Matsuda... how much did you listen to?"

Matsuda swallowed. "Um... I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I pretty much heard the whole thing..."

Roger sighed again. "And?"

"Sir?"

"Well? Do you agree with him?" Matsuda made sure to choose his words carefully.

"Um... he kind of has a point, I guess... but um..." He didn't want to get in trouble, but he wanted to be honest. Sometimes, he was too honest. It made many people very angry with him sometimes. "Well, Near and the rest of them are only human, and they do get upset and stressed out... why do you think he stacks his cards and dice and stuff? And L's social skills are almost as bad as Near's... Matt and Mello always had each other, right? So they're a little better adjusted, but Mello's temper is still pretty bad. I know I'm nowhere near half as smart as any of them, but I have to say that if I was under that kind of pressure all the time, I would be batshit insane within a day or two."

"Matsuda, you already are batshit insane." He was ready for the comeback, so he just shrugged it off. "But you might be right..." Roger admitted. He sighed. "What the hell am I supposed to do about it, though? It's not like we can do much to change what's already been done." Matsuda wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer or not. It was hard to believe that anyone (especially Roger, who was in charge of so much) would be asking for his advice. "What do you think?"

"W-Well... you could maybe start by just sort of lightening up on them... don't stress being number one so much. You know, just kind of chill..." He winced at the stupidity of his words. They had sounded so much better inside his head, but that was usually kind of how it went. He'd get a really good idea, but when he tried to voice it, he ended up sounding totally stupid. Roger rubbed his chin. As ridiculous as 'just chilling out' sounded, Matsuda might actually have a point.

"Thank you, Matsuda. Tell L that I'll get these back to him as soon as I've finished with them." Matsuda promised to do so, then left the man alone in the room once again. Roger kept replaying what Gevanni had said to him. Was it even possible that they had gone about things so wrong? Things were supposed to be settling down now that one of their biggest cases had been resolved. So why was everything suddenly falling to pieces?

* * *

A/N: so this chapter is sort of... totally unimportant to the plot, but basically I went on a rant about how messed up the wammy's boys were. because really, they all are messed up, and it depresses me. yes, the psychological states of fictional characters depress me. I'm a little special.

Yeah, so I had to throw Matsuda in there. I love him, because he's always totally clueless. I felt bad for him when Light died, though. He really liked Light, and he was really upset. :'(

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

thank you sooo much for reading! I hope you liked it. let me know!

~alex~


	16. Chapter 16

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Sixteen~

* * *

Near sat up quickly at the sound of the door swinging shut. Although he didn't like others to know it, he always looked forward to Gevanni's return.

"Near?"

"I'm in here," he called into the other room. Gevanni entered a moment later and immediately walked to where Near was hunched over a stack of reports, gathering him into his arms and holding him tightly. Near could tell that something was off, but he wasn't sure what, but he was afraid that it was something that he had done. "W-what is the matter?" He asked nervously. Gevanni sighed, sensing the boy's discomfort.

"Nothing, Near. Don't worry about it." He didn't want to upset Near too much, and he feared that knowing the topic of his and Roger's argument would only make him feel more uncomfortable. Near, however, knowing none of this, was immediately struck with the impression that, since Gevanni didn't want to tell him, it _must_ be that he had done something to upset the man. He frowned unhappily, twirling his bangs.

"What?" Gevanni asked when he noticed Near's nervous behavior. Near had tried (and failed) to hide his frown.

"Have I done something to displease you?"

"What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?" Near blushed, not meeting his eyes.

"Y-you didn't want to tel me what was troubling you, so it would make sense that it would be because of me..."

"No, Near. Don't worry about that. If I'm ever upset with you, I'll talk to you about it. I'm just a little stressed out... Roger and I had a minor disagreement." Near felt that there was something more, but didn't push the issue, despite the nagging feeling that Gevanni was angry with him, despite what the man might say.

"Um... would you like to do something with me?" His voice was so timid that it took Gevanni by surprise.

"Oh, uh, sure. What do you want to do? We could play a game or something." Near smiled shyly at him.

"Puzzle?" Gevanni nodded encouragingly.

"Sure. Why don't you go pick one out?" Near reached behind him, pulling out a box. Apparently, he had already decided on which puzzle he wanted to do. He'd chosen a puzzle showing a rainforest scene. They spent the next half-hour completing the puzzle, during which time, Near recited facts about every single animal species shown. He liked this puzzle especially, because it was accurate. There weren't any elephants or zebras or other equally ridiculous creatures that didn't belong in a South American rainforest. Everything that was shown here actually belonged here. By the time they finished the puzzle, Gevanni had put together a grand total of five pieces, Near placing the other 1995 pieces in the correct spots. Near attached the final piece, smiling happily. He glanced up to see Gevanni's eyes on him, and he flushed instantly. Gevanni smiled at Near, then leaned forward to kiss him. Well, this was good, as far as Near could tell. He didn't think that Gevanni would do a puzzle with him and kiss him if he were _too_ terribly angry with him, but he just wasn't _sure_. Although he understood Gevanni more than he did most people, he still had a hard time reading his emotions at times. Being so unsure about something made him feel extremely irritated, and with a rare display of frustration, latched his arms around Gevanni's neck, preventing him from escaping.

"Oh!" The man's eyes widened in shock as Near glared at him. "What's wrong? What did I do?"

"I don't understand how you're feeling." Near looked away from him, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"What... um, what do you mean?" Near glared at him again. He wasn't actually angry at Gevanni himself, but the fact that he couldn't figure him out.

"I mean that I feel that you might be angry with me, but as you will not explain what is bothering you, I cannot be sure."

"Near, I told you I wasn't mad at you, I just didn't want to upset you... sorry..." he sighed. "Look. What Roger and I were arguing about... well, it started off with him asking me if it was a good idea to have a relationship with you." Near froze almost imperceptibly, but Gevanni noticed the reaction all the same. "No, don't worry, Near. Don't worry. He was concerned with your emotional wellbeing..."

"That would be a first." Gevanni could detect a hint of bitterness in Near's voice, and he nodded ruefully.

"I know. That's what set me off... basically, our conversation ended with me yelling at him about how he fails at raising children and how he and Watari just screw up all the Wammy's kids." Near's expression went blank once more, and Gevanni shifted nervously. "Near? What is it?"

"I... do you think that I am screwed up?" He asked quietly, his voice devoid of audible emotion.

"No! No, that's not what I meant. God, no. I meant that they messed up with raising you guys. That's no way to raise a child, pitting him against his peers and telling him that he has to be the best in everything he does... it isn't healthy. I sort of told him that if he was concerned with your emotional wellbeing, then he should have thought about that when you were younger."

"But I am screwed up." Gevanni sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"No, Near. No, you aren't. Haven't we had this conversation before?" Near shook his head.

"No, we have not, although we have discussed the topic." Gevanni had to smile at Near's bone-dry sense of humor, humor that most people totally missed.

"Yeah, funny. I know it's not the exact same conversation, and you know that's not what I meant. I mean it, Near. You aren't screwed up. You just... people don't know how to handle you, and you don't really know how to handle them." Near turned to him, his dark eyes wide.

"Or myself," he said bluntly, staring intensely at Gevanni, who was trying to think of what to say to that kind of a statement. "Don't argue with me on that. You've said it previously; I don't understand myself or my feelings." He turned away from Gevanni just in time to hide the tear that had fallen. "I don't like it." Truly, he'd never put much thought into this kind of thing before this whole thing with Gevanni. Lately, though, he'd been feeling so lost and confused, so out of place within himself, that it was driving him crazy. For once in his life, he wanted to know what his feelings meant, and he wanted to be able to interact with other people in a halfway normal fashion. Because what he had with everyone around him was anything but normal; he knew that much.

"Near," Gevanni whispered kindly, gently wrapping his arms around his thin frame. "It's alright, Near. You can figure yourself out. I know, I said that you don't understand yourself, and it's true; right now, you don't. It doesn't have to stay like that, though. Okay? I can help you. I'm not going anywhere, Near. I'm planning on staying with you for as long as I possibly can." The words really did make Near feel quite a bit better, but he was still uncertain. Noticing this, Gevanni decided that they could start their little self-discovery journey right that second. "Okay, this is a good spot to start. I can see that you aren't totally sure. Try to tell me why you aren't sure, or what it is that makes you feel like that. Sometimes if you start with identifying what is causing the feelings, it can help you understand exactly what it is that you are feeling." Near could feel his head beginning to hurt. He didn't like having this much attention directed towards him at once, but to be fair, he had sort of asked for it.

"I... I don't know that you will stay with me. You intend on it now, but the future may see you change your mind and decide that you'd rather be with someone more normal." Again, he couldn't hide the bitterness that permeated the idea. "And I don't know why you would be so determined to help me and make me happy. It isn't logical, and it seems that it only creates more problems for you." Gevanni hugged Near more tightly, kissing the top of his head.

"Near, I can't see the future any better than you can, but I can tell you right now that I really do love you. It's not like I'm just acting on a whim; I care about you very deeply, and I really doubt that anything about that is going to change. As for why I would stick with you and make you happy? Again, because I love you. I want you to be happy. I love seeing you smile, and I hate it when you're upset. I know when you're unhappy, even if you're hiding it from everyone else. Whenever that happens, it kills me if I can't do something to alleviate that sadness. I love you for who you are, and you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else does."

"Again, though, I must wonder if you wouldn't rather I were more normal." Gevanni shook his head, smiling.

"No way, Near. Where would the fun in that be?" Near smiled shyly at him. "But really, I wouldn't have it any other way. So you're a little unusual; if you weren't, you wouldn't be my Nate River, my Near. Every quirk and oddity makes you who you are. You wouldn't be the same person if you were, as you say, 'normal.' So I'm so glad that you're like you are; you are the one that I love, and I wouldn't have you any other way." Near had been staring at him in rapture. When he finished speaking, the boy's cheeks flushed, and he buried his face in Gevanni's chest. "Hey, you alright?" Near nodded, and Gevanni stroked his back comfortingly. He sighed. Poor Near... he was so confused... "It will be okay. I'm here with you, and I promise you that I'll do anything in my power to help you." Near shook his head.

"No. You mustn't do anything that might jeopardize your own safety or happiness." This time, Gevanni shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Near, what do you think makes me the happiest?" Near pursed his lips together, stubbornly refusing to answer the question. "I'm the happiest when you're happy. You smiling is the most beautiful thing in the world, and I don't see it nearly enough."

"There isn't that much to smile about."

"Well, love, I'm going to change that. I promise that will change."

* * *

A/N: Okay, so the end of this chapter sucks, but I was kind of losing steam by that point, and it was the best I could come up with. the next one might be a lemon, if I can muster the willpower to write one. heh. I think I might be ending this pretty soon, considering the fact that there isn't really much else I can do with the plot at this point. BUT, as I've said before, if anyone has any ideas, please pass them on to me. I would appreciate them immensely.

So because I'm a terrible person, I haven't had my rats out for a day or two, so I have them out now, and I'm paying the price. I have three VERY VERY VERY overly hyper rats running around my room, harassing the cat and knocking stuff over, not to mention trying to eat my rainbow sherbet. That's what I get for not letting them out yesterday.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

thanks for reading this, and thank you everyone who has been reviewing. I really appreciate all of your reviews. I get really excited whenever I get them.... ah, crap. my rat knocked down an almost-full glass of water. guess I'll go clean it up... thanks, Phoebe.

Thank you!!! let me know what you think.

~alex~


	17. Chapter 17

(I own nothing)

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~Chapter Seventeen~

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**.LEMON.**

**

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**

Near heard the door open and close, and he sank lower down into the bubbles. He hadn't locked the door, expecting everyone to be out for the day, and now he was almost wishing that he had. Who could be there? As if sensing Near's apprehension and fear, the second-largest rubber ducky (there was a family of five of them) brushed against his knee. He grasped the toy tightly. As childish and immature as he knew it was, he always felt a little bit less lonely when the neon yellow waterfowl were with him.

"Near? Are you in here?" Near sighed in relief at the sound of Gevanni's voice.

"Yes," he called out quietly, his voice reverberating around the tiled room.

"Hey. Roger wanted me to find you." Gevanni stopped in the doorway, trying not to stare as he felt the blood rushing to his face.

"What are you supposed to do when you find me? Especially since I'm in the bathtub..." He gave Gevanni a sideways look, trying to inconspicuously watch his reactions. Gevanni just stared, open-mouthed, at the boy in front of him. Had Near just... had he just made such a blatant sexual advance?!?!

"Uh... oh! Um, he wanted me to inform you that, um... you have a week's worth of vacation time, starting... starting today." Near was surprised, and usually he would protest, arguing that his time would be better spent working on cases, but now... well, now it gave him a perfect opportunity.

"So since it is my vacation," he began, thinking of the way that Matt and Mello always just "happened" to have their vacations at the same time, "then am I correct in assuming that it is also your vacation time?" Gevanni nodded, and Near smiled widely. "Then might I propose that you join me?" His words had the desired effect on the man.

"What? Wait, now?!" He gasped, once again taken aback by the direct advance.

"Of course." Near didn't look at Gevanni's face; instead, he watched the smallest duck follow the largest one as it floated by his left side.

"Well... um, if-if you want me to?" Gevanni was clearly flustered, and that pleased Near immensely. He nodded at the older man, who hesitantly began to remove his shirt. Near had to smile. He had actually been terrified that Gevanni would turn down his invitation, instead leaving him to bathe alone with his ducks. He splashed his feet in the soapy water. The bathtub, being one of six at the headquarters, was quite large. Near had always found them far too large to be practical for anything other than playing with ducks, as he did not require that much water to bathe. Now, though, he was beginning to see the benefit of a larger bath tub. For one thing, there was less displacement when Gevanni entered the water, so none spilled over the edge, as was prone to happen in smaller bathtubs. For another thing, it left their options wide open. Near blushed at the very thought, and Gevanni noticed.

"What's wrong?" Gevanni asked, very obviously concerned by the blush that had reddened the pale boy's face.

Near shook his head frantically. "Nothing!" he squeaked.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Of course not." Gevanni still hesitated, looking as if he wanted to stand up and leave, but Near grabbed his arm, holding on tightly. "I said 'no.'"

"Okay, okay! I'm not going anywhere!" Gevanni laughed. Privately, he was very nervous. Obviously, he wanted to do... well, things other than simply bathe. He wasn't sure, though, if Near wanted that. He didn't want to make the first move, in case Near felt obliged to to do something that he wasn't comfortable with, but then again, he didn't want Near to be too uncomfortable to say anything.

"Are you alright?" Gevanni was surprised to see Near staring at him with wide, concerned eyes.

"Oh! Yes, of course I'm alright. It's just..." Gevanni trailed off, too embarrassed to finish the thought.

"Just what?" Near's expression was unreadable (of course, what else is new?).

"Just... well, what did you intend for this bath?" He cringed as he said the words.

"What do you expect?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking. So that I don't mess anything up." Near was touched by the words, and the water lapped at the sides of the tub as he moved closer to Gevanni.

"You will not 'mess up,' as you say. As for the intent of this bath... originally, I had merely intended to bathe solely out of necessity- to cleanse my body."

"Originally?"

"Yes." Near nodded. "Originally, that is what I had intended."

"And now?"

"Now, that is no longer my intent." He turned, smiling shyly at Gevanni. "If that is agreeable with you?"

"...You could say that." Gevanni couldn't stop the blush that was spreading across his cheeks.

"Good." With that, Near crawled onto Gevanni's naked lap.

"Um...." Gevanni paused, not entirely sure how to ask the next question. He decided to just be blunt. "Um, did you want to top? Because if you want to, that's okay with me..." he trailed off when he noticed Near's alarmed expression.

"No thank you. No, no no..." Near shook his head, his eyes even wider.

"Hey! It's okay, I just figured I'd offer! I mean, I would prefer to, but I figured... okay. I'm going to stop talking. That conversation got very awkward very quickly." Near nodded emphatically, and Gevanni laughed. "Sorry about that."

"It is not a problem at all," the younger boy promised him, wrapping his arms around Gevanni's neck, burying his face in his chest. "You smell nice," he mumbled, his voice muffled.

"Thanks... I don't know why. I haven't had a shower since yesterday morning."

Near shook his head. "You do not smell like artificial scents. You smell like you." After thinking for a moment about what he'd just said, he blushed in embarrassment, and Gevanni rubbed his back comfortingly. "I like you." He moved so that his lips could reach Gevanni's throat, which he kissed softly. Sighing, Gevanni ran his fingers through the boy's hair.

"Oh, Near. I like you too." Near blushed even more, and Gevanni tilted Near's head back so that he could look at him. He kissed Near's forehead, then moved down to his lips, which he captured softly with his own. Near felt no fear, no panic, and no urge to move away from this contact. Quite the opposite, actually, and he squirmed a little where he sat on Gevanni's lap, hoping to speed things along. "Eh!" Apparently, it had worked. He could feel that Gevanni's interest had been peaked (although that was not the only thing that had been peaked). "Um, Near?"

"Yes?"

"What- what are you doing?"

"Speeding this up."

"You could have just said something..."

"You, of all people, should know what an absurd suggestion that is." Gevanni sighed, flinching slightly as Near rocked lightly against him.

"Yes, well... well... oh God!" He clenched his eyes shut as Near continued to move around, increasing their contact. "Fine! Fine, just- wait- you're making this very hard." Near raised his eyebrow, surprised that Gevanni had left himself so wide open for the joke.

"I can tell." It took Gevanni a moment to figure out exactly what Near had meant, but when he did, his face flushed bright red.

"That is not _even _what I meant, and you _know_ it!" Although he sounded frustrated, he was actually quite pleased that Near was acting so outgoing. It was a good sign, in his opinion. He pulled Near against him, somewhat roughly, and kissed him forcefully. Near squeaked in both protest and appreciation, launching himself on top of Gevanni again and sending bubbles everywhere. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Near bit Gevanni's lower lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. "Ouch! What the hell was that for?"

Near smirked at him. "Stop asking ridiculous questions."

"You didn't have to bite me..."

"Stop stalling," Near demanded, smiling widely (more of a grimace, than anything else) to show his teeth again.

"Alright, I get the idea..." He paused for just a moment more, moving to prepare Near, who only flinched slightly at the touch. The warm, bubbly water helped ease things slightly, and after a few moments, Gevanni was able to enter Near, who was still sitting on his lap. He stayed still until Near opened his eyes again. "You okay, love?"

Near nodded. "Yes... thank you." Gevanni kissed the boy's nose as a drop of either sweat or water was just about to fall, making him giggle slightly. Near reached down and scooped up a hand full of the sudsy bubble bath, placing it on top of Gevanni's head. He giggled again.

"So that's how it's going to be?" He also placed a large pile of suds on Near's head. Near gave no warning before he moved his hips sharply, making Gevanni cry out before he could stop himself. "God, Near. You have to warn me before you do that kind of thi-gah!" Near apparently did not agree with Gevanni, as he again failed to warn him. Gevanni used his hands to support Near, helping him find a position that was easier to maintain and less painful for both of them. He groaned as Near picked himself up slowly, lowering himself back down, breathing heavily. Near, pleased with the results of this action, continued, enjoying the expression on Gevanni's face, until both of their actions were rapid and frenzied. Near released first, clenching his legs even more tightly around Gevanni's waist and continuing to rock weakly back-and-forth. Finally, with an almost pained moan and one last, frantic thrust upwards, Gevanni emptied himself inside of Near. The boy slumped forward onto Gevanni's chest and was immediately engulfed in a tight hug. Gevanni buried his face in the boy's soft, white hair.

"Are you okay?" He had to ask. He couldn't help it!

"Yes. Thank you." Near tried to suppress a yawn, but it did not go unnoticed by Gevanni.

"Well, I guess we could actually get clean now..." he suggested, watching lovingly as Near reached for the nearest duck, instinctively clutching it to his chest.

He nodded at Gevanni. "Yes... it is quite impractical to remain in this state for the rest of the day." He yawned again, and Gevanni smiled, reaching for the shampoo as he rubbed Near's back.

"Just hold still, okay?" Near nodded silently, and Gevanni massaged a small amount of the shampoo into first Near's hair, and then his own. He rinsed his own hair first, quickly, before turning his attention back to Near. "Lean back... yeah, there we go." He helped him lay against his body, still working his fingers gently across his scalp. Near sighed, content, and Gevanni began pouring cupfuls of warm water over Near's head, rinsing his hair of shampoo. He then applied conditioner to Near's already soft hair, leaving it to set in his hair for almost five minutes before rinsing it out. By the time Near stood, dripping wet on the floor and with a towel draped around his body, Near's hair was shiny, soft, and smelled of strawberries.

* * *

A/N: sorry it took me so long to get this posted... it took me forever to write. I hope you liked reading it. shameless lemon chapter... pleh. you know how much I love writing lemons... *sarcasm*

but yeah. I think I'm going to have to end this pretty soon. I don't really have any more ideas for it... unless anyone else has any? suggestions are more than welcome.

soooo thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!

~alex~


	18. Chapter 18

(I own nothing)

* * *

~Chapter Eighteen~

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"So why are we doing this again?" Near glanced over at Gevanni, who was looking at him questioningly.

"We are doing this because there is something into which I want to look." Well, that was specific... leave it to Near to avoid the question and be painfully grammatically correct.

"You do realize that you didn't even come close to answering my question, don't you?"

Near smiled slightly, inclining his head. "Yes, I do. It was my intention to evade the question."

"Well, you did a great job of it. Are you going to explain when we get there?"

"Perhaps." Near glanced sideways at Gevanni, amusing himself with the man's reactions. "Although perhaps not, as it is not truly your business to know."

"W-I-What?" Gevanni stammered, afraid that he had somehow angered the boy.

Near snickered. "I apologize; I found the opportunity was too appealing for me to resist."

"W-Wait, you're joking?" he asked incredulously. Near _never_ joked.

"Yes, I am. Is it... not something I should do?" He wrinkled his forehead.

"No, it's awesome that you're joking. It just surprised me is all. Don't worry about it." He ruffled Near's hair with one hand, but Near glared at him.

"It is advisable that you keep both hands on the steering wheel," Near observed.

"Hey, give me a little credit here, will you?"

"I wish to arrive at our destination while still living."

Gevanni rolled his eyes. "Hey, I'm not going to crash, okay? Besides, we're pretty much there." Sure enough, the long driveway of Whammy's orphanage had just come into view. "See? Still alive."

Near smirked. "Indeed. I appreciate it." Near hesitated as they got out of the car, and although Gevanni noticed, he said nothing. Something in Near's demeanor said that he needed to do this without using Gevanni to hide behind. "Very well. Let us proceed inside." His diction always got more sophisticated whenever he was nervous or uncomfortable, which often led people to believe that he was even more haughty and demeaning than he really was (although even he would even admit that he was pretty condescending).

"Near! Oh, hello Gevanni. What are the two of you doing here? I had not expected to see you today," Watari greeted them at the door. Of course he had known the second they entered the grounds; there was surveillance everywhere on the property (which had prevented Near being beaten up by Mello on more than one occasion).

"There was something that I wished to discuss with you, if it is permissible." Although Near was asking, there was no doubt that he **would** speak with Watari. As L's number one successor, there was no way he would be refused if he requested something.

"Of course, of course. Allow me to make sure that the children are on task." Gevanni watched with distaste as Watari went into the next room and began bossing children around, some of them no older than three or four, and all of them working studiously on something or other.

"That can't be healthy for them," he muttered to Near, whose stoic expression didn't change.

"No. As you can see, it is not healthy for anyone."

"I apologize for that," Watari said, coming back into the room. "They've been especially unruly with the rise in temperature." Gevanni watched Near's expression go blank. That was not a good sign... "So, shall we go somewhere more private?" Near nodded once, and they followed the older man into a sitting room, where he directed them to sit in the armchairs. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Near said nothing for a moment, then moved to the floor, pulling a deck of cards out of his excessively large pajama top sleeve.

"I would like to discuss something with you." When Near didn't expand on that at all, Watari cleared his throat.

"Near?" Gevanni asked softly, joining him on the floor. "What's wrong?"

"It is not something that will be taken well by you, I am afraid," he said to Watari, not meeting the man's eyes. Watari raised his eyebrows, shooting Gevanni a quizzical look. Gevanni shrugged. He knew just about as much about this as Watari did.

"I am willing to listen to whatever it is you have to say."

"Do you swear to listen with complete logic and objectivity?" The intensity of the look that Near was now giving him shocked Watari. Never before had he seen Near seem so... truly interested in something. Usually, he seemed bored to tears with everything, regardless of the situation.

"I believe I can manage that," he said, slightly nervous as to where this was going. Near wasn't one to care about what other people felt, for the most part.

"Very well. I want..." Gevanni and Watari both stared at the boy in surprise. He didn't usually express his wants, so for him to do so now must have been extremely hard, and Gevanni couldn't help feeling a little bit proud. "I want you to change how you run the orphanage." The silence in the room was complete. Even the sounds from outside had fallen silent, leaving them to digest Near's request in utter, awkward quiet.

"Um. If I might ask, what is your reasoning?" Watari asked, thinking that he was doing a pretty damn good job of keeping the shock out of his voice.

"Look at me, Watari." Near turned to him and, to his surprise, made direct eye contact. What he saw was... something he had never seen before. He was seeing _Near._ Not the facade that he usually wore, but Near himself, without his mask to protect him. There was such sadness and hurt in his gaze that Watari wondered how he was always able to contain it. He saw fear and uncertainty, but lurking behind the negative emotions was something that seemed remarkably like hope. It was barely there, but he could still see it. "Look at me. I do not know myself. I do not know how to interact with others, so I am terribly lonely." Gevanni knew that he was the exception to that, but hearing Near say it aloud still made him incredibly sad. "I am the second greatest mind in the world. I know more than most people will ever be exposed to in their entire lifetimes, yet I know nothing that matters. This place... your intentions are noble; however, I fear that you may be doing more damage than anything else."

Near then lowered his gaze, cheeks burning, and buried his face in Gevanni's chest, earning raised eyebrows from Watari. Near was breathing hard, and he was obviously having a hard time figuring out how to say what was on his mind. He glanced up at Gevanni, eyes pleading. "Help me?" he whimpered, and there was no way that Gevanni could resist when he asked like that.

"Of course. It's okay, Near. Calm down..." He kissed the top of his head. Near choked back a sob, clutching the man's shirt and holding him close to his body. He hated this feeling of not being able to control himself; he couldn't stop himself from crying. It seemed that once he had allowed himself to start expressing emotions the same way as other people, he was making up for seventeen years of repression. Everything affected him much more deeply than made sense, and he just didn't _like_ it. Gevanni looked at Watari, not intending the accusation to reach his eyes. "This is no way to raise children, Watari. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but... they need more than this. They need human contact, human emotions. You can't treat them like they're each other's enemies. Mello still treats Near poorly; still resents him, and it causes trouble for the team." Watari's eyes widened in surprise. He knew that Mello had never liked Near, but he had expected him to let go of the grudge by this point... "It doesn't work to treat them like... like machines, who are only supposed to succeed. I mean honestly, there's a reason that they don't teach Machiavelli in preschool. They need time to actually be kids. This kind of environment is detrimental to their social as well as emotional development. Basically, you're destroying them."

"I see your point, but these are not ordinary children in question."

Gevanni shook his head. "Exactly. Children of such high intellect often have psychological or social disorders. By emphasizing the overly-competitive, unaffectionate environment and mindset, you only further develop these disorders. Like Beyond. And poor A. Those events didn't have to happen, you know. You don't want that kind of thing to happen again, do you? I talked to Roger about this the other day. Did he not pass my opinions along, like he said he would? No? Figures. I don't think Near wants you to shut down the orphanage, or change everything, just... treat the children like humans. Allow them to be children. You said that they'd been 'unruly with the rise in temperature?' Well no wonder, really. Because what do children do in the summer, when the weather is nice and there's more daylight? They play outside. Summer break exists for a reason, and it's not just for the teachers' mental health." Watari was staring out the window, clearly deep in thought. "Does that sound right, Near? Or am I totally off?"

Near shook his head. "No, you are correct. I am concerned purely for the well-being of the children. I wish for them to be healthier psychologically than I."

Watari sighed, rubbing his chin and suddenly looking totally wiped out. "Near... you realize that this would defeat the purpose of our training?"

Anger flashed into Near's eyes. "The training is useless if the child doesn't survive to adulthood, or if he is unable to function as a member of society!" the white-haired boy snapped, glaring venomously.

"So you would have us stop producing the world's top minds?" Watari's voice had taken on a bite of its own, and Gevanni feared that things would get out of hand soon.

"Yes, I would. Because the very problem is that you are 'producing' them. Geniuses cannot be mass-produced. These children... I am going to hypothesize, based on personal experience, that the majority of them are miserable and yet show no outward signs of being in misery." Near was right, and Gevanni knew it. He didn't have to like that fact, though.

"Near, that's such a big thing to ask..."

"Why?!" Near asked, the pitch of his voice rising in anger. "Why is it so hard to at least pretend to care about them? Why is that so much to ask?! You and Roger hate children; why do you do this? Why do you torture yourselves and break children? You are doing no favors for anyone, and lying to yourself about it will not change that. Now, it is obvious that you are too proud and too foolish to admit the role you have played in destroying the psyches of innocent children, so Stephen and I must be leaving."

"Stephen? Wait, that's your first name?" Gevanni nodded at the astounded Watari. "And why are you two on a first-name basis?"

Near glared even more fiercely (which truly is saying something). "Because it's generally a good thing to do, be on a first name basis, with the one you love."

"Wait, you mean...you two are together?"

"I know, it's hard to believe that poor, antisocial Near is getting as much action as high and mighty Mello." Okay, so he wasn't really getting that much action (hell, he didn't want that much action), but Watari didn't need to know that. "Now if you will excuse us, we have better things to do than argue a hopeless cause with you." Without waiting for a response, he tugged on Gevanni's sleeve until he followed him out of the room and out the front door.

"Near! Near, wait. I apologize, I meant no offense. I... I apologize, and I will consider what you have proposed. Alright? I will speak with Roger, and we will decide what to do. I will consider it, though. I promise."

Near looked at him, his expression back to its normal stoic demeanor. "I am sincere in everything that I have told you, and I hope that you will take the psychological duress that I have suffered into consideration. Now, good day." He got into the car, slamming the door more forcefully than was strictly necessary. Gevanni exchanged incredulous looks with Watari.

"Well, I guess that's my cue. I do hope you'll take our advice... I apologize. He has been through a lot lately."

Watari nodded. "I understand. I am partially to blame, I suppose... good bye, Gevanni." After Watari closed the door behind him, Gevanni got into the driver's seat.

"Near? Are you okay?" The boy was clutching his knees to his chest, and his eyes were closed.

"Mmm-mmm." He shook his head.

"Well... did you want to talk about it?" Near shook his head again, not that Gevanni was surprised. "It will be okay, Near. I think you got through to him." Near said nothing, so Gevanni left him alone for the rest of the ride. When they arrived back at headquarters, Gevanni found out why he'd been so silent: he'd fallen fast asleep, not even stirring as Gevanni carried him gently from the car to lay him on the bed. He'd worn himself out with so much emotional stress, and voicing his feelings and thoughts always wore the boy out. Gevanni kissed each of Near's closed eyes softly, then his forehead. "Sleep well, my love. You deserve to rest."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, this took me a while to post. sorry about that.... but I did get it posted! Thank you to everyone who sent in their ideas; as you can see, I used the most popular one, about going back to Whammy's. Yeah, and now I have to go to class, so you can blame my beta for this short author's note, b/c she's standing here saying "no! You can't miss anymore classes!" Because I was in the hospital for 3 days because I had a kidney infection. It sucked... hurt a lot. but anyway, review please!

~alex~


	19. Chapter 19

~Chapter Nineteen~

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**A/N: Sorry this is so short... I'll try to post the next one very soon to make up for it. But I think the next one might be the last one. Just so you know...**

* * *

Near hadn't said anything since they had returned from Whammy's, instead choosing to close himself in his room for the remainder of the day. Unsure of how to proceed from here, Gevanni had contacted Matt, explaining the situation.

"But I don't know... what do you think I should do? Should I talk to him or leave him to himself? What do you think? Do you know what's wrong?" Matt shook his head, shrugging helplessly.

"Dude, I don't know. I got no idea what to tell you. I'm not that great with people, and you know how he is- he never reacts the way anyone expects him to. With Mello, I would say to stay the hell away from him until he comes to find me, or I'll get hurt, but I don't think that's much to go off of."

"Well, maybe as long as I stick to the opposite of what would work with Mello, I should be good."

"Oh. Yeah. Good idea. Good luck with that," Matt bid Gevanni, resuming his game as the other walked away. He paused outside Near's door, still hesitant to approach the boy. He'd been in such a foul mood when they had returned, that no one had wanted to even be in the same room as him.

"Is there a reason you're standing out there? Do you wish to speak with me, or do you just enjoy lurking outside of my room?" Came a slightly peeved voice from inside. Clearing his throat self-consciously, Gevanni scrambled to gather his thoughts.

"Um... yeah, I was just coming to see if you were okay... I can leave, if you want."

"No, come in," Near said after a quick pause, and Gevanni fumbled with the doorknob.

"Do you want me to lock it, or just leave it open?"

"Lock it please," Near asked, glancing wearily at Gevanni. "Mello has been in here three times in the last hour, and I don't feel like dealing with him again." Gevanni was surprised that Near hadn't tried harder to keep Mello out.

"Three times? Why didn't you lock the door?" Near glared at his robot before putting it in its correct place on the shelf.

"Because I had hoped that you might also come here."

"Oh!" Gevanni felt awful. "I'm sorry, Near! I didn't know if you wanted me to... you seemed to want to be by yourself, so I didn't stop in, but if I'd known that you wanted me to, I would have been here earlier." No wonder Near was still in such a bad mood.

"I understand. What did you wish to accomplish by contacting me now?" When he said it like that, it sounded so bad... as if he was questioning Gevanni's motives.

"I just wanted to see you," He answered honestly, "and how you're doing." He was feeling very uncomfortable, and Near was still glaring at him. "Near, what's wrong? What's bothering you?" Near fidgeted.

"What do you mean?" Near asked sharply.

"Why are you angry with me? I've done nothing to make you angry with me, so why are you so angry?" He didn't miss the way Near's expression shifted slightly or the slight intake of breath.

"There is nothing. I am not upset at all."

"Bullshit. Come on, Near. You can tell me. I don't really know what it was, but something obviously upset you today. Maybe I can help you with whatever it is." Near paused averting his eyes.

"It is nothing of consequence, at any rate. I should not be entertaining such immature and childish ideas." Now Gevanni _really_ wanted to know what Near meant.

"No, come on, Near. You can tell me, and I can tell you if I think it's an unreasonable thing for you to be concerned with. Near looked ready to murder Gevanni, but it was true; something was bothering him. He felt that if he was going to tell anyone, it would be Gevanni, who he knew really cared and wanted to know.

"I... My date of birth is approaching. Lately, I've been having this absurd desire to pay more recognition to this particular date..." Something clicked in Gevanni's head.

"Wait... so you want a birthday party?" Near blushed bright red, glaring fiercely, as he often did when embarrassed.

"Please do not make fun of me."

"Hey, I'm not making fun of you at all," Gevanni insisted, holding his hands up. "I think it's a wonderful idea." Still, Near looked preoccupied. "What's wrong?"

"Is there any way to... not let Mello know that I want this?" Ah, so that was it.

"If you want, we can pretend like this whole birthday party idea was my idea," he offered.

"If... if you want to." Clearly, Near liked that idea (not that he would admit it).

"Alright. So, what do you want to do for it?" Near stared blankly.

"What... what do people normally do for birthday parties?" That's right. Gevanni had forgotten that none of the children at Whammy's had more of a birthday celebration than possibly more free time.

"You know what? How about you just forget all about the whole thing, and I'll take care of planning everything. Okay?" Near nodded, somewhat reluctantly.

"Okay. um... thank you?"

"Just don't worry about it, okay? I'll be back in a little bit." He left Near, slowly walking back to where he'd been talking to Matt in the lounge area. He sat on the couch, thinking over his conversation with Near. As far as he could tell, Near had never had any sort of birthday celebration, nor had he shown any interest in having one. Unlike Matt and Mello, who had, on Mello's 21st birthday, gone to a club and spent the next three days recovering from what Gevanni strongly suspected had been a mix of less-than-legal substances. Somehow, he didn't see Near going for anything like that, but he needed _some_ ideas. "Well, I guess it can't hurt to try," He muttered, reaching for his cell phone. He dialed and waited for an answer. "Hey, Matt. I need yours and Mello's help for something..."

* * *

A/N: So you see, the next one should be pretty good. Like I said at the beginning of the chapter, though, the next one might be the last, because I'm kind of out of ideas for it, and I think that 20 chapters is a pretty good length, don't you? But yeah, let me know what you think. I wrote this chapter while I was sitting in the woods behind my house, high as a kite, so I think it turned out pretty well all things considered. even if it is obscenely short. yeah. ^.^

I realize that this might be kind of ooc for Near, but I think that's almost good, because he's kind of progressing emotionally. or something like that.

Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you.

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~


	20. Chapter 20

(I own nothing)

A/N: Last chapter! It's a long one...

* * *

~Chapter Twenty~

* * *

Matt had just finished hanging up the streamers from the ceiling, when his phone rang, belting the Mario theme song across the room. Seeing that it was Gevanni, he answered cheerfully.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Just seeing how things were going."

"Good. Everything is still right on schedule. And you? You two getting ready?"

"Yeah. Near is getting really impatient." Matt laughed, able to imagine Near's frustration at being the only one left out.

"Tell him to just hold his horses and be patient for just a little longer. He'll like it, trust me."

"Hey, I believe you. He's the one being impatient."

"How can he focus on cases, and catching criminals, for hours at a time, for years at a time, but he can't wait a few hours for a goddamned birthday party?"

"Great question. We'll see you in a bit, then?"

"Yep. Just get here on time, and I'll take care of everything."

"Awesome." Gevanni always wondered what Matt could accomplish if he was ever motivated enough to try. Probably world domination. "Just... one more thing...No offense or anything, but... have you been keeping an eye on Mello? You know, just... that seems like something he would do, you know? Mess with something for Near's birthday party?" He hadn't really meant it to sound like they were talking about five-year-olds, but sometimes, that was how they acted.

"Oh, yeah. I've been with him all afternoon," Matt lied. "He's not screwing anything up yet." He really had no clue where Mello was, and it was making him incredibly uneasy. He'd just sort of vanished a few hours prior, which was never a good thing.

"Thank you. I'll see you then?"

"Yeah. See you later." Matt dialed Mello's number the second he'd hung up with Gevanni. He'd tried earlier, but no one had answered, which meant absolutely nothing with Mello. For all Matt knew, he could be laying dead in a ditch somewhere (unlikely), or he could just be acting moody and not feel like answering his phone (very possible). This time, though, he answered.

"Yo. What do you want?" He was always so cordial...

"Where are you?" Matt couldn't quite keep the edge out of his voice.

"Chill, Matty. I'm just picking up these balloons for you. Like you told me to. I'm being nice, for once. You'd better write the date down, because I'm not planning on it again any time soon." Huh. Matt had ordered balloons, but he didn't remember asking Mello to pick them up. Well, it was to be expected that he would be forgetting things, with how busy he was.

"Oh. Um... thanks. When are you going to be back?" He heard Mello snicker.

"What, you miss me already?"

"Always. So you'd better hurry up." Also, the guests would be arriving fairly soon. If he could at all help it, he wanted to have everything set up by then. He'd done all of the decorations, wrapped his present, and had set the table. The cake was all set, waiting in its bakery box to be put on the table. All that was left was the balloons, which Mello was apparently getting, and the punch, which he was going to get out when everyone arrived.

"Matt? Where are you? Come get these goddamn balloons out of the car. My hands are full." Matt rushed into the other room to help Mello, who was burdened down with several heavy-looking paper grocery bags.

"What's in these?" He asked Mello curiously.

"A surprise. Don't look." Uh-oh. A surprise? From Mello? Usually, that involved someone getting shot.

"Mello, what kind of surprise?"

"A good one. Now go get the fucking balloons." Mello gave him a dangerous look, and Matt hurried out to the garage. He easily spotted the car that Mello had taken- it was bursting full of brightly-colored balloons. As he gathered the balloon bouquets, he noticed that each one was weighted down with a brand-new toy robot, and he had to smile. He knew for a fact that he hadn't said a word about balloon weights or robots. Mello could claim to hate Near all he wanted, but Matt knew better. He went inside with the balloons and saw that Mello was already pouring together the different punch ingredients.

"Oh, I was going to wait to do that until everyone got here so that it was still cold..." Mello rolled his eyes.

"Well that's retarded. Might as well just stick it in the fridge until the jerk gets here."

"I guess we can do that..."

"I know we can. Now go set up those balloons." Still, Matt hesitated.

"Mello... just... please don't poison anyone..."

"I _said_ go set up the balloons." Some days, Matt just wanted to punch Mello, but he knew that doing so would be a very bad idea- if he wanted to survive. So he ignored Melo's flippant, bossy behavior (like he had for the last 20ish years) and set up the damn balloons just as Halle and Rester arrived.

"Hey, guys!" He greeted them. "Thanks for coming." Halle smiled sweetly at him while Rester nodded, and then went in the other room to greet Mello.

"Thanks for doing this for Near, Matt," Halle thanked him. "It's very sweet of you."

"Eh, it was Gevanni's idea," Matt insisted, and Halle smiled somewhat smugly. No one had believed her when she predicted their relationship; she'd seen it coming for months.

"Well, either way, it's still a really nice thing to do. And I'm impressed that you got Mello to help." Matt nodded in agreement.

"I know. Trust me, he's not happy about it. I think he's planning something, though. He's been... too helpful. I'm worried." Halle laughed.

"Oh, God. Yeah, you should probably keep a close eye on him."

* * *

A few more people from the task force arrived after that, including Matsuda and Aizawa, and then a few of the (surviving) Whammy's kids. Matt hadn't really wanted to invite Linda, but she'd found out about it somehow, and pretty much invited herself.

"Alright, everyone," Matt hushed the growing crowd of people. "Near and Gevanni are going to be here soon, so- Oh, hello. He nodded in greeting to Watari, who was followed- to everyone's surprise- by L. Of course he had been invited, but no one had really expected the detective to actually show up.

"Hello. I apologize for our tardiness," L said, half-smiling at Matt. "Please, continue."

"Alright then. As I was saying, Near and Gevanni will be here soon, so just be ready. Also, try not to freak Near out any more than he already is. You know how he is around large groups of people." The guests all either nodded or murmured in agreement. The only ones that Matt was really concerned about were Mello (duh) and Linda, who'd always had a mad crush on Near. Matt didn't think that she'd heard about Near and Gevanni, and he wasn't really sure how she'd handle it. He made his way over to the overly-cheerful girl, deciding not to postpone the inevitable. "Hey, Linda. How's it going?"

"Hi, Matty!" He winced at the sound of her shrill voice. Only Mello was aloud to call him that... "I'm doing so well! How are you? Have you and Mello been doing well? I was so worried about all of you when I heard you were working on such dangerous cases, but I'm really glad you're all okay." This was why no one, other than Mello, was able to be very mean to her. She was just too damn nice to everyone.

"Um... it's going okay. Hey... listen. There was something I wanted to talk to you about." Her expression sobered immediately.

"What's wrong, Matt? Did something bad happen?"

"No, no. nothing like that. Well not really. Just... I know you've liked Near for a while, and I hate to have to tell you..."

"Oh.." Her expression only fell the tiniest bit; after all, it wasn't as if she wasn't used to rejection when it came to Near. "Does he have... a girlfriend?" Matt smiled kindly.

"Well, not unless there's something about Gevanni that none of us knows..." Her eyes widened.

"O-Oh! I see!" She seemed mildly more cheerful. "So it's not my fault he doesn't like me?" Matt wasn't sure he'd go that far, but he just nodded.

"That's right. If it's any consolation, they're pretty much perfect together. Gevanni takes really good care of him." She smiled brightly at Matt.

"Actually, that does make me feel better. I'm glad he's happy... he never used to be." So true. "Thank you, Matt." He shrugged awkwardly, but was saved from having to deal with any more uncomfortable, forced conversation with her by the arrival of the guest(s) of honor. "Near's here!" Linda ran to find her present for him. Matt rolled his eyes, but had to smile at her enthusiasm. It was sort of endearing, but she was so hard to deal with for any extended period of time. He followed the ecstatic girl to where a pissed-off looking Near was half-hiding behind Gevanni from the mob of people wishing him a happy birthday.

"Alright!" Matt shouted. "What did I just say about not crowding him too much?" After a moment, the crowd backed off, and everyone went back to interacting with one another. Matt jumped as he felt an arm encircle his waist.

"Hey, babe," Mello purred into his ear. "You want me to get anything for you? The punch, maybe?" Okay, something was totally up. A thought occurred to Matt.

"Oh my god, Mello. You'd better not have spiked that punch. I swear-"

"Now Matt, why would I do that when we're going to be drinking it too?" Matt couldn't think of an explanation, but he still didn't entirely trust the smile that Mello was giving him.

"Fine," He sighed. "But you'd better not mess with anything."

"Don't worry, Matty-boy." He kissed matt's cheek. "I wouldn't dream of ruining things for you." He had slunk away by the time Matt turned to reply.

"He'd fucking better not.," Matt muttered as he closed the distance between Near, Gevanni, and himself. "Hey, Near! Happy birthday!" An overwhelmed Near turned to Matt.

"Hello, Matt. Thank you."

"So, what do you think?" He laughed at Near's traumatized expression. "Don't worry. It will calm down after people give you their presents." Near's eyes widened in confusion.

"Presence?" He asked, clearly puzzled.

"Yeah. You know, birthday presents."

"Whose presence?" Neither of them realized that they were talking about two totally different things.

"Yours!"

"Why... would they give me my own presence? That is not even possible. It is impossible to be away from myself, so how would they have my presence, when I didn't?"

"What?" Matt was utterly lost.

" Presents, presence," Gevanni finally stepped in, seeing where this was going ("Who's on first." "Who?" "Yes."). "Near, Matt means gifts. Matt, I think Near thought you meant like, you know, your presence in the room. Like, you're currently _present_ at this party."

"Oh," they both replied at once.

"Well, that makes a hell of a lot more sense," Matt laughed. Near, however, still looked perplexed.

"And what... is the purpose of these... gifts?"

"Really, dude? You're serious?" How did Near not know about birthday presents? "They're just, you know. For the hell of it. Everyone loves presents, so people give you gifts on your birthday. See?" He pointed to the still growing pile of gifts. "Everyone brought you something." He leaned closer to whisper in the boy's ear. "And you see those robots? With the balloons?" Near nodded. He'd been eyeing the robots, but he hadn't realized that they were actually intended for him. "He'll deny it to hell and back, but Mello picked those out for you." Near looked at Matt incredulously, and Matt laughed. He'd never seen Near look so surprised about anything (even when he had found out that Mello wasn't actually dead). "See how awesome that is?" Near was rather impressed with the concept. He had been beginning to think that this whole birthday party idea was a bad one. Why would he want to walk around all night with people watching him and talking to him? It made him very uncomfortable. Matt didn't care about attracting attention, though. "Okay! Who wants to give Near his present?" A shriek from the back of the room told him who would be going first. "Alright, Linda," he sighed. "Go ahead." She giggled as she handed Near a gift bag.

"Here you go." Near hesitated.

"It's okay, Near," Gevanni muttered. "You can open it." Linda didn't miss the quiet exchange, but it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would.

Near felt extremely exposed, with everyone watching him open his _presents_, but he removed the tissue paper to reveal a deluxe Lego set and a custom-made deck of tarot cards. Near was genuinely impressed to see that the cards featured amazing drawings of different people or things that had either been in Whammy's or who had been involved with the Kira case (the most influential case he'd worked on) as the trumps- Roger as the Magician, Matt as the High Priestess, Aizawa as the Empress, Watari as the Emperor, Kira as the Pope, Raye and Naomi as the Lovers, Mello as the Chariot, Misa as Justice, Near as the Hermit (of course), Whammy's house as wheel of fortune, Mogi as strength, the man, F, who had rescued Near from his home as the Hanged Man, L as Death, Gevanni as Temperance, Light Yagami as the Devil, the Death Note as the Tower, the entire group of the newest generation of Whammy's kids as the Star, Beyond Birthday as the Moon, Matsuda as the Sun, Teru Mikami as Judgement, the SPK headquarters as the World, and, amazingly, a very lifelike depiction of Ryuk as the Fool. He noticed that each card's subject fit the personality of the trump, as opposed to following the more common stereotypes (the way people tend to view Death as a negative card, when in actuality, it represents change, usually for the better).

"Linda, these are amazing..." He remembered that Linda was a very talented artist. "Did you create the artwork?" She nodded. "How did you know what the shinigami looked like? And... and F?" She blushed.

"L helped me with the shinigami, and for F... I'm a little older than you, Near, and I never forget a face. He visited Whammy's every now and then when I was younger." Near was still looking through them in awe.

"Well... um... I must thank you for this gift." She giggled, then went back to where she had been standing.

"He likes it!" She whispered loudly to Matt, who gave her a thumbs-up. Even he had to admit, that present was pretty kick-ass.

Near seemed to relax a little with the steady stream of gifts, ranging from blocks and dice to puzzles, and even a small cheesecake (from L, of course). Finally, people began to say their farewells to an exhausted Near. He wasn't used to having that much social interaction in a month, let alone in a single evening.

"Hey! There you are!" He smiled at Mello who had shown up next to him from seemingly nowhere.

"Yeah, I brought you some punch. We were out, so I made more." Matt raised an eyebrow.

"You'd better not have drugged me, or anything weird like that." Mello just smirked.

"I don't need to drug you, Matty-boy, and you know it." Matt blushed, sipping at the drink in question.

"This... this does taste a little different," he said warily as he held it up to the light. Mello rolled his eyes.

"Dude, chill. We were out of the one kind of juice, so I used another. Nothing to worry about." Matt wanted to press the issue, but the blond had already disappeared, returning a moment later with a fresh bowl of punch. Matt knew that Mello was up to something, but there was really nothing he could do at this point. He watched as Halle swished her glass suspiciously, taking a careful sip. When she didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, and began drinking it more comfortably, Matt followed suit, relaxing and drinking the rest of his glass. So far, everything seemed okay...

* * *

"Gevaaaaaaaaaaaniiiiiiiiiii~!" Near whined, sprawling on the floor and wrapping his arms around Gevanni's ankles. The older man was at a loss; he wasn't sure what had gotten into Near in the last hour, and he wasn't sure how to react.

"Um... what's up, Near?"

"I like youuuu!" Yeah, something strange was going on.

"M-Mello?" Matt called unsteadily. "What the fuck d-did you do to us?" He was having trouble pronouncing his words. And walking. Mello was doubled up with laughter.

"You are all such lightweights! Look at you!" Sure enough, everyone except for Watari (who didn't like punch), Rester, and Gevanni were acting strangely. L was laying across the couch, singing to a flustered Watari, Halle was giggling uncontrollably, and Matt was unsteady on his feet and slurring his words slightly. "You guys really can't hold your liquor, can you?" Matt was livid.

"You m-moron! Near 'n' L don't ever h-have alcohol! Why'd you do that?" He struggled to keep focused on Mello.

"Aw, come on. Like you haven't wanted to see Near drunk?" Well, there was that...

"Not the p-point, 'nd you know it!" Mello shrugged.

"Well, he's having fun, isn't he? And Gevanni seems to be enjoying himself." It was true; Matt had never seen Near smile so openly, nor had he heard him laugh louder than a cynical chuckle. At the moment, however, he was smiling constantly and was giggling with abandon as Gevanni helped him to his feet. Matt had to admit that it was kind of nice...

"Fine," he sighed. "You should've told me you w-were gonna, though," he pouted, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, like you would have gone along with it. Besides, I like you like this." He pulled Matt down on the couch.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" He muttered, failing miserably to keep his balance.

"Yeah. That's why you like me, though."

Matt quit trying to argue, settling for watching Near play with the robots from the balloons. He was even more engrossed in it than usual, making loud sound effects and exaggerated motions. "Here." Mello handed Matt another glass of punch. He sighed heavily, but accepted it anyway.

"Just don't give any more to Near. He's had enough."

"Dude, shut up. You're ruining my fun."

"Yeah, well it's his b-birfday, 'n' if you give him any m-more, he's gonna have a big hangover t-tomorrow. Y-you don' wanna do that to him o-on 'is birfday, do you?"

"Yes," Mello answered without hesitation.

"Well, don't," Matt snapped, irritated. "Is not nice, 'n' if you don't want me pissed at you, l-lay off." Mello knew that when Matt threatened to be angry with him, it meant withholding certain "activities."

"You suck."

"Nooo! He's Awesommmmme!" Apparently, their conversation had attracted Near's attention. The pale boy threw his arms around Matt's neck. "He's so nice to me! Not like you." He scowled at Mello, who was resisting the urge to throttle him. "You're mean. But... you're cool, too." He smiled suddenly at the blond. "Did I show you my puzzle? It's a star chart!"

"You moron, I helped pick out that puzzle for you!" It had been from Matt, after all. Near's eyes widened dramatically.

"You did? Why?"

"Because, it's your birthday, dumbass!" Matt elbowed him in the ribs, but Near just started giggling, as if it were the funniest thing in the world.

"Mello, if it weren't for y-you, 'e wouldn't be a-acting all w-weird," Matt reprimanded.

"Thank you, Mello!" Near chimed, before wobbling his way back to where Gevanni was sitting in a chair. He pulled Near onto his lap.

"How's it going, Near?" Near beamed at him.

"I am quite intoxicated, I believe," Near speculated, brow furrowed in concentration. Gevanni laughed.

"No, you think? How do you feel?" Near paused.

"I'm not entirely sure. I fee quite unusual."

"Well, you are kind of unusual..." Gevanni was relieved when Near smiled at his joke.

"Yeah. That's why you like me, though."

"True enough. You knew that already, though."

"Well, you guys," Mello broke into their conversation. "We're going to head out now. Have fun, be good." Matt giggled next to him.

"Bye! Happy b-birthday, Neeeeaaar!" Near giggled back at Matt, and both Mello and Gevanni rolled their eyes at their boyfriends' drunken states.

"Hey, old man!" Mello shouted at Watari. "L! We're leaving! You might want to give these two some alone time!" L stuck his tongue out at Mello, and Watari attempted to reprimand him. Usually, sticking one's tongue out at Mello was a bad idea, unless you were either named Matt or you wanted to die. Mello, however, was feeling just buzzed enough that he didn't care. Plus, it was his fault that L was acting that way. He doubted if the detective had ever even had alcohol. He put his arm around Matt, and led him out of the room, while Watari struggled to make L listen to him.

" L, please. It's time to leave. No, you can _not_ eat that, you gave it to him as a gift! Put it down this instant." The dark-haired man pouted as Watari took the strawberry cheesecake out of his grasp. "We have an entire one back in your room. Can we leave now?"

"... Guess so," L pouted. Watari sighed with relief, returning the cheesecake to the table. He helped L to his feet.

"Goodbye, Near. Happy birthday," Watari called as he helped an unsteady L out the door. Rester followed him, he and a giddy Halle also wishing Near and Gevanni well.

"So, Near," Gevanni said, turning to Near once they were alone. "You want your present?"

"More presents?" Near looked at him in surprise.

"Well, of course," Gevanni laughed. "Did you think I didn't get you anything?"

"Well, what about the party?"

"Hey, that was mostly Matt. I just sort of helped a little bit." Near smiled slowly.

"Okay." Gevanni laughed, passing a gift bag to him. Curious, Near pulled the contents from the bag. It was... a new pair of fuzzy, rubber ducky print pajamas. "Duckies!" He stated happily, beaming at Gevanni.

"Heh, yeah... so, do you like them?"

"Uh-huh." Near nodded. "Thank you lots." Gevanni flushed.

"Y-You're welcome." They lay there in silence for a few moments.

"Thank you for the birthday," Near said suddenly, staring at Gevanni seriously.

"Um... you're welcome..." He was slightly unnerved by the serious, intense stare Near was giving him. "Woah, you feeling okay?" He moved to support Near, who had stood up without warning, as he swayed dangerously on his feet.

"Oh. T-thanks." He leaned heavily on Gevanni.

"Maybe you should go to bed," Gevanni suggested.

"I... guess." He seemed troubled about something.

"Everything okay, Near?" Near blushed and seemed unable to make eye contact with Gevanni.

"Can- can you... not leave me tonight?" he stared intently at the floor as he twirled a lock of hair.

"Of course I'll stay!" Gevanni was surprised that Near had even been so concerned with that, but it was evident that it had been bothering him, as a wide smile stretched across his face. Gevanni sighed, smiling, and helped the boy into his (new) pajamas. After putting on his own, he joined Near in the bed. As soon as he was under the covers, Near curled up against his body, nestled against him affectionately. "So, how are you doing right now?" Near blushed.

"What do you mean?"

"You know. How are you functioning, after Mello's little 'stunt?'" Gevanni raised an eyebrow at Near playfully.

"Well, as I am unable to form a coherent statement, let alone argument, I feel that this conversation is... um... done." Gevanni burst out laughing.

"Aww, man! You held it together up until the very last word!" Near hid his smile against the sheets. "So close." He leaned in, waiting for Near to surface for air before swoopin in for a kiss.

"Muffkme!" Gevanni didn't even try to understand Near's muffled protest as Near gently pushed him away, laughing happily.

"Oh, yes. World's number two detective right here." He kissed Near again. "Seriously, though. Did you have a nice birthday?" Near nodded, smiling sleepily.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"You're welcome." He kissed Near's forehead as the boy fought (unsuccessfully) to keep his eyes open. "I love you." Near grunted, rolling onto his side as he clutched at Gevanni's arm.

"Love you too..." Within a few minutes, Gevanni could tell that Near was asleep.

"Happy birthday, Nate. Sleep well."

* * *

Near blinked as he opened his eyes to the bright morning sun.

"Good morning, sunshine." Gevanni smoothed Near's hair back from his face. Near yawned and smiled, stretching his limbs. "How'd you sleep?" Near paused, considering.

"I slept... well. Very restfully..."

"Well, how do you feel now? Headache, nausea, anything?" Near shrugged.

"Only a little... but it's okay."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I'm really happy." Near was blushing, but he didn't look angry.

"...Why are you so happy right now?"

"Because you're with me. Right now, and you like me, and... um... I like you. And I... I trust you." His cheeks were burning by the time he finished, and he stared at his trembling fingers. Gevanni took said fingers in his hands, kissing the tips of them lightly.

"Yes. I'm here with you. And I'll stay with you as long as you want me to, and I'll never do anything to betray your trust in me." He kissed Near's forehead, and they both flopped back into the bed. They lay there well into the afternoon, only getting out of bed to eat a dinner of cheesecake and jelly beans and play with Legos. And Near didn't even care that they were wasting valuable work time.

* * *

A/N: GAAAAAAH! It's over! What am I going to do with myself? Maybe start a new Death Note one... I have two Yu-Gi-Oh ones going, so yeah. And a Kingdom Hearts one that I haven't started posting yet.

But anyway, thank you soooo much for reading. Somehow, I think this author's note is going to be a long one.

I'll start by explaining the Tarot trumps, and why I chose who/what I chose for each one.

**Magician**- the magician is supposed to be really dynamic and symbolize change, and power through will. I thought that fit Roger, just b/c of the fact that he helps run Whammy's and all that fun stuff.

**High Priestess**- yes, I realize that Matt's a guy, but that's not the point. the priestess is supposed to be secretive and use intuition, and to focus on the bringing together of opposites. it doesn't get much more opposite than Matt and Mello.

**Empress**- again, Aizawa is a guy, but one of the major traits of the empress is that she protects her children at all costs. at some point, he leaves the SPK to be with and protect his family.

**Emperor**- The emperor is just power. you know, Watari and his power over the kids' lives.

**Pope**- again, power, but "the illusion of security at the expense of freedom." can you say Kira?

**Lovers**- duh. of course it would be Naomi and Raye. Unfortunately, I couldn't justify having them still alive, since Raye's death was sort of the turning point for Light. Very sad.

**Chariot**- it's kind of like a "end justifies the means" kind of card, and it doesn't really get any more Machiavellian than Mello, you know?

**Justice**- true justice, according to this, sets aside bad laws. Light had a good idea in the beginning, but he just got all messed up. he's different from Kira.

**Hermit**- Near is the hermit. the hermit is supposed to be smart, withdrawn and secretive, and he knows the outcome of his actions before he acts. yeah.

**Wheel of Fortune**- even as things change, the essentials stay the same. I thought Whammy's worked, b/c it's where Near and everyone came from, and even though they're awesome now, Whammy's is still there... yeah.

**Strength**- I just kind of like Mogi, and he seems to be a good candidate for strength, which can be either physical strength or otherwise.

**The Hanged Man**- he's really interesting, because the hanged man is supposed to be a happy kind of guy, even though he's hanging. he represents sacrifice for something greater; F died, but he died to save Near, who ended up being awesome.

**Temperance**- Gevanni keeps things balanced. the card is pretty self-explanatory.

**Devil**- No, I didn't make Misa the devil b/c I hate her, b/c I don't. the devil card is supposed to represent weakness and lack of achievement. Misa just sort of followed what Light did, so I thought that worked.

**The Tower**- not a nice card, usually. it's supposed to be inevitable change and destruction. Death Note. enough said.

**Star**- Peace, tranquility, and new hope. the next generation of kids still have hope to not get as fucked up as their predecessors.

**Moon**- crazy and "lunatic," the inability to separate reality from illusion. Basically, if you had to sum it up in one person, it would be poor old crazy Beyond Birthday.

**Sun**- the sun is a really happy one, with everything right in the world. Matsuda is so damn happy-go-lucky, that this worked.

**Judgement**- criticism, praise, and self-evaluation. also, I thought Mikami worked pretty well, b/c he's so hardcore with punishing people who oppose his "God."

**World**- completion, wholeness, etc. I was sort of desperate, but since they finished the whole Kira case, I guess the SPK... maybe... meh.

**Fool**- here, this is what the website said: _"The number zero is usually associated with this card. In fact this is simply a shorthand for saying that The Fool has no number. He is outside of such systems: 'I am not a number, I am a free man.' As such this card can be considered to fall at the beginning of the major Arcana, or at the end, or anywhere in between. The Fool represents naivety and childlike innocence - yet the Fool is wise. He carries only what possessions he really needs, having thrown off the rest of the materialistic baggage that we carry. He journeys through life, tasting everything it has to offer then letting it go and moving on. In many Tarot decks The Fool is illustrated as being about to step off a cliff. Is this symbolic of dangerous, impulsive risk-taking? Or does it indicate one who simply refuses to be held back by the problems life throws in our path." _ Sooo yeah. Ryuk.

I'm sorry if I messed any of those up; I don't know as much about the tarot as I would like to, so hopefully, I made that all work.

~ahhh, poor Linda. don't worry, Linda. I know how you feel. except that it's my boyfriend of three years... :(

~I have fuzzy rubber ducky pajama pants, just so everyone knows. my mom gave them to me for Christmas.

many, many thanks to my best friend and awesome beta, soundofmadness223, aka krista. we both are very sorry that it took so long to get this posted. we've been slacking off big time.

and finally, once again, a huge thanks to all of my readers. this is my longest fic yet, and I really owe a lot to everyone who read, reviewed, and favorited this story; thanks for helping me get this to 20 chapters. :D

I love you all!

~alex~


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